How long have you both been dating before moving in together? What age group are you in? (in my country of origin, those that do cohabit are usually under 30, older and it would be frowned upon) Is it common to live together before getting engaged in Japan?
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I have lived with two different girls I think first time it was 24M/23F we dated one year and then lived together. Second time I was 29M/28F It was maybe 1-2 years dating prior to living together. I think recently or at least for younger people everyone I know foreign and Japanese all have lived together prior to getting engaged. Maybe people who still live with parents wont move in together to save costs? From my personal and people I know thoughts generally its better to live together first so that you learn all the persons good and bad. you cant keep up an act all day every day for years.
interesting that for younger people it’s okay but not older in your country. which country is this?
Probably not a good idea to marry someone if you haven’t lived with them yet. As for “Japan” – there are no national guidelines.
At the time I told my now wife that I couldn’t imagine proposing until we have lived together for a while. Daily life understanding is mandatory to the success of a relationship.
Is it common? Yes and no. I’ve seen a few japanese friends living together before getting married, but more than half not.
It is not really frowned upon that I know of, especially in big cities. Might be in smaller communities.
Remember in Japan there are a lot of shared house and thus people learn to live with different people, and unless specific locations those are not gender specific. I lived in a few of them and there were men and women alike. Mostly students below 30 though.
Usually happened to me somewhere between 6-12 months of dating. Not generally frowned upon, and makes a lot of sense considering people live 1 hour or more away from each other and typically work late.
As for the dynamics that depends on the people. For me I had issues setting boundaries in regards to cooking and chores. I’ve lived alone for so long I’m used to cooking and cleaning on my own, and because I didn’t set any boundaries or expectations most of my partners just lounged around. Of course they would help when asked, but I rarely thought to ask.
“frowned upon” by who. And who the fuck cares lmao
Gf is Japanese and we’ve been living together for 3 years not married. There’s a lot of expectations from both of us and she often yells at me for going out drinking but peachy aside from that haha.
I lived with my gf for three years. Decided to get married. Her family came to america to meet my family. Three days after we got back to Japan she dumped me. Started drinking and Yada Yada Yada women are evil Yada Yada your mileage may vary.
I lived with my girlfriend for about a year before we got engaged. A year later we got married. To be honest, our dynamic was pretty much the same when we weren’t married. We had an amazing relationship then and we still have one now. If anything, we’ve only gotten closer since we got married.
Getting married to someone without living with them is normal in Japan. All my wife’s friends, her sister, her brother all did this.
Really depends on the person, but socially there is no stigma around it. However, over the years I have met many foreign men who said “My gf changed” once they settled into domestic life together. Just be cognizant that cultural differences/relationship expectations can come about quite quickly after you decide to cohabit especially when you’re both living in Japan.