Has anyone been a host family for an international student?

28 comments

1. Things to keep in mind that you are taking care of another human from different culture. Act like a family not a pet owner.

2. Are you going to speak Japanese at home 24/7, because they probably want that.

3. Honestly, many international students would probably be disappointed if you are not a Japanese household. They are doing it (and paying) for that exposure to Japanese language and culture.

4. Are you Japanese? Tbh I would be disappointed if I were an exchange student and placed with a family that wasn’t totally Japanese.

   In diverse societies like the US or the UK I wouldn’t see a problem with host families having diverse backgrounds, as that’s an accurate representation of a country with a long history of immigration. However, it will be confusing and, to be frank, weird for exchange students coming to japan to experience. Japan is known as a homogenous society still at this point in time. That’s just how it is.

5. I did it here the other way around. About 15 years ago I was the student for a year in a host family here.

   Tbh most will be looking for japanese families since they expect the kid to learn japanese in Japan.

   If your daily life language is Japanese at home, then it should be fine. The Rotary club, Lions Club do international student exchange program, but I am sure you could ask the international section of the university closeby to you and they’d have answers

6. Man, some of the replies here…

   It reminds me of my students going abroad for their homestays… they visit countries they have imagined as full of white people and then wind up in a host family that has a different culture. Some of them are really disappointed at first. A tiny number even complained that they are getting an inauthentic experience. But the ones who make the best of it always come out of the experience with a really moving personal connection and also an improved understanding that the world doesn’t really consist of neat and tidy stereotypes and that people who don’t fit the stereotype for a country can still be part of that country.

   I don’t know what program to register with, but if you find one and genuinely want to sign up, please do so. If you aren’t able to provide their applicants with what they need (for example, hypothetically language immersion), they’ll know that when they evaluate your application better than a bunch of internet randos. If they accept you as a candidate, it would mean they believe in your ability to support their mission, which means there is no reason you shouldn’t try.

   Good luck! *Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum*

7. A French co-worker once sent his daughter to be an intern at our Tokyo branch. For the first week she stayed with us. My wife Is Japanese and my sons were about 6 & 9.5 years old then. It was fun overall but she was pretty weird. It was a bit awkward as her father was a really senior executive. Her visit entered our family lore and every time we hear “host family” we have a good laugh. I agree with the others, in general, foreign students want to stay with a Japanese family, doing Japanese things and eating Japanese food.

8. https://www.lexhippo.gr.jp/english/

9. Yes I have hosted before. Not for months long, only for a few days.

   For short, with only a few night stays, focus is not really on just providing a roof and couple of meals a day (as I suspect it is for couple months), but rather assisting the guests with a “Japanese” experience. Not being a 100% Japanese household was never an issue, in fact it’s seen as a plus because we can accommodate guests that may have certain restrictions (dietary to be precise).

   All is done through a company (I’m not mentioning it here, just look at the first google result for “homestay in japan”) and the experience is pretty mixed. There’s an application and screening process to make sure you can provide the proper conditions for your future guests, but parts of that screening I honestly found pretty intrusive, up to a point that I was seriously considering abandoning the whole idea (for reasons I do not wish to share here, but you’re welcome to DM me).

   Their homepage is updated regularly with students/etc looking for housing with introduction, preferences, restrictions, etc so you can have a vague idea whether it’ll be a good fit or not (not everyone is looking for a 100% Japanese environment, just to mention).

   There’s some payment involved, like how much you’ll get for a night, how many meals you need to provide (again, you get paid for that too), options for cooking classes (again, paid by the guest to you) or other activities, things that kind of emphasize the business side of things a bit too much for my taste, to be honest, putting a bit of pressure on you as the host, not really knowing how much the company is actually pocketing from the guest on your behalf.

   All in all, the hosting part itself is quite fun, DM me if you’d like to know more!

10. Man, some of these comments.

    I’ve mentioned in another comment already that I was a study abroad student in Japan for a year almost 20 years ago and it is an experience that still traumatizes me to this day. It’s an incredibly long story, but the long and short of it is that I only made it through that experience thanks to some amazing fellow English speakers who I’m still friends with to this day. Am I a statistical outlier? Almost certainly (though I was one of only two students who completed their whole year of study in my cohort out of probably around a dozen of us who came over. All the rest went home early, surprise surprise). That doesn’t mean that someone of a foreign background should be discouraged from hosting visiting students to Japan.

    OP, if you and your family want to do it, go for it. There will be some families and students who appreciate the peace of mind that an English speaker in the home will bring. There’s also the unique perspective that a non-Japanese host parent living in Japan will bring to their experience that might be desirable to some.

11. Isn’t the whole point to experience living with a native family, experiencing the different way of living and immersing yourself in a foreign language/culture.

    Your gues probably wouldn’t be happy if they travelled to another country for a homestay, and ended up in household similar in culture to where they are from.

12. I haven’t directly hosted an international student, but my in-laws have hosted lots of them, and I’ve gone on trips with them, given them advice for job applications, and even attended their weddings years down the line. None of them have seemed disappointed I was there, even when I stayed over for a few days.

    I will grant that a host family that consists of two Westerners who aren’t native Japanese speakers is very different from, say, a situation where one parent is Western, the other is Japanese, and they maybe have a kid growing up here. Or a situation where someone with foreign heritage was born here! I think either of the latter would be fine and, if anything educational, while the former might not be ideal if the international student really wanted to practice Japanese.

13. I think it depends on the student, but any serious Japanese student would be so disappointed if they ended up in a 80% Japanese language house. They are typically coming to America to study English, not use their native language. I know that one of my Japanese friends ended up in a Filipino house in America and complained about never being able to use English. I personally think thats a little silly because Tagalog is just as valid as English when it comes to American life. Although, I suppose English is important for the student’s future. And even if they think they want to only use Japanese, you are not helping them to break through the mental barrier of everyday English that they might need for their future and encouraging them to waste their money I guess. I know someone here that had a Japanese host family that spoken fluent English, they found life easy for their exchange program but as an adult they are disappointed they never got much real language practice in their daily life. Just a thought.

14. I haven’t, but I do know someone who was kicked out by their host family and forced to go back to Japan lol

15. You do you. I say go for it.

    To be quite honest, there are 1000000 things that can go wrong and cause the student to hate their host family’s guts or vice versa.

    Being able to use English to fix a large swath of those issues is a huge plus.

    I would just sit down and speak with the student (in simple Japanese first) about their expectations. If they wanted an “authentic” experience, I’d try to avoid English as much as possible (until things get heated) and try to keep cuisine and passtime activities to stuff that a 100% Japanese household might do… but if they start getting upset by “it not being authentic” or “they speak too much English. I want to be stranded in a pull-myself-up-with-my-own-bootstraps environment!” then that’s not you… ask to have them transferred.

    tbh, even if they’re totally fine with your family and everything about it, there will always be something to cause issues. Staying out past curfew, etc. etc. It’s a roll of the dice both ways.

    tl;dr Do it if you want. I’d be interested to hear how it goes!

16. If you’re interested, I would say go for it! When I did a homestay, I was given three family profiles which I could give my preferences for (the family had the ultimate say), so it may be the same. The students that want a fully Japanese experience can opt for that, ones that want/need the reassurance that there is someone that speaks english can opt for you.

17. You might enjoy being a Couchsurfing host in the meantime. It’s fun hosting people from around the world.

18. The city my family and I live in has a sister city in Austria (not Australia – mentioning that for our geographically challenged friends). And they offer a special youth exchange program for kids/teenagers. It’s basically like this: Austrian kids come her for a week and experience Japan and do some performances (like dancing or singing, etc). Then the next year a group of Japanese kids gets to go to the Austrian sister city to do the same. It’s a really great program in my opinion. Unfortunately it was suspended when COVID hit.

    Before COVID we hosted one member of that youth exchange program for about a week. The youth exchange program took care of the every day activities for those kids (ages 12 to 16 years). None of them or their teachers spoke any Japanese, so the girl we hosted (and her parents back home in Austria) was very happy that I spoke German with her and translated from/to Japanese whenever necessary.

    Also the teachers from Austria really appreciated me acting as unofficial translator (ger-jap/jap-ger) for the few times we all got together. Yes, the team here on the Japanese side had an official ja-en translator, but let’s just say she wasn’t really that amazing…

    One more thing: while it was a really great experience for us as host family, I really regret not getting our Austrian guest’s room a proper Aircon installed beforehand. The whole program took place in August during school’s summer recess. So yeah…. Humidity and heat were her enemy for the duration of the stay. (Yes we put some fans in her room and gave her cooled down/frozen “cushions” etc.)

    Anyway, now all our rooms have a proper Aircon and we’d love to host again. My kids really enjoyed that previous student’ stay and they all had a lot of fun playing with each other.

    Unfortunately that exchange program is still suspended because of COVID. I hope they’ll resume it next year.

    Edit: forgot to mention that I’m native German and my wife is Japanese. Our kids understand German but really mostly only speak Japanese.

    Edit 2: that youth exchange program has no requirement to be able to speak Japanese or English. On the flip side when the Japanese kids visit Austria they are also not required to speak any German or English. It’s a special sister cities agreement and program.

    Edit 3: we mostly just provided a place to stay, eat and sleep and one weekend day of activity (we went to a local matsuri and hanabi and let our Austrian guest wear a nice Yukata which we let her keep and take back home). All in all it was really fun for everyone involved. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

19. this is really kind of you to consider. i sometimes get ads on my instagram looking for families to host japanese students in an international family for a weekend/holiday etc, i think it’s a legit company and wonder if anyone else has seen it?

    otherwise: would you ever consider fostering local kids? it comes with the risk of issues but i know in my ward some care homes look for families to give kids a break etc.

20. I say go for it. Very few people are willing to open their home to host a stranger. A student with an open mind, ready to make the best out of the exchange period is going to be lucky that you are offering this opportunity. 80% Japanese household with English for a backup safety net is a great situation in my opinion. Many students who apply to these programs don’t get a placement at all due to lack of host families. A family willing to host is to be welcomed and encouraged.

    I say all that after having hosted Japanese students in the US. As a non-white American family, our experiences have been mixed — a lot depends on the expectations and fit between the host family and student. There are various types of hosting programs, paid placements that are more like a side income, which we don’t have any idea about. We have hosted only through volunteer programs, we weren’t getting paid for it, we do this as a volunteer host family to help students get a unique opportunity to live and experience life in the US. Students pay the program for their flights and some fees but they attend public high school here for free as we pay our taxes in our city here. We provide them free room and board and include them in all our family activities.

    If the student has the right attitude, open mind, and comes into the exchange program for the right reasons (not because a parent pushed them to do it), that will set them up for a successful experience.

    When you select a student based on their host family letter, make sure to read it carefully to look for a good fit with your family’s attitudes and interests. Find something in there that resonates with you, that’s your best chance to build a good relationship.

    We have hosted through a couple of different organizations. I highly recommend AFS: https://www.afsusa.org/programs/japan-high-school/

    https://www.afs.or.jp

21. Lots of people saying that teenage weebs are going to be disappointed at not experiencing a 100% Japanese family, but not enough people thinking about the fact op knows English means she would be able to help people who need more complicated accommodations that may otherwise be too worried to travel abroad normally.

    Like, I would kill for a family like that when I was in my teens envious of all my friends going abroad but couldn’t because what if I accidentally eat milk and die? (food allergies)

22. I’m surprised at some of the comments here. I have a friend from Hong Kong, married to a Japanese guy, and they have hosted many students even though they aren’t “a real Japanese family.” The wife speaks Japanese, they speak Japanese at home, she cooks both Chinese and Japanese food, and as far as I know they haven’t had any complaints. They host students because they like to, they have the space and can afford it, and it’s a fun experience on both sides. They are both fluent in English and the wife speaks Chinese, but they speak in Japanese to the students unless requested otherwise or it’s an emergency. I see no reason why you can’t host students just because one of you is not Japanese, as long as you are still giving the student the opportunity to speak Japanese and experience Japanese culture.

    Edit: I did an exchange in high school, and the majority of my language learning took place at school or with peers. My host family were at work until well after I went to bed most of the time, and we had like maybe 1 conversation a week, on Sundays. Otherwise I was alone a lot, or with friends. So even with a “real Japanese family” experiences can be wildly different.

23. We hosted a boy from the U.S. for six weeks. It was a great experience and both he and his mother were happy that he had us, an exchange family that could speak English. We, of course, tried to use and teach him as much Japanese as he could handle. But to be perfectly honest, I’d say most exchange students who are coming abroad for a six week or short stay are going to be limited in their Japanese ability and are not specifically coming to get better at language.

    The boy actually attended the private high I work at. He was very popular as you’d expect. But with the majority of students having limited English (my school is not such a high-level), the days could be long and boring. He mostly spent time with my daughter. And of course, I specifically put him in her class. So she did a lot of translating. But overall, he was such a positive influence on many students and I’d love to do it again.

    Please take note that while exchange programs will tell you to not change your daily routine, you just can’t help but spoil your exchange student. We wanted him to experience all sorts of food and things, and it can get quite expensive, especially with a young, growing boy. So expect to take a hit to your monthly savings.

24. Back in the US, I took some short term junior high school aged students. Given that they were so young, my limited Japanese was quite good for them. Sure immersion is good, but it’s helpful to have your native language for the hard times and it’s especially helpful for younger students.

25. I did a short term home stay (3 months) in Japan when I was in college, and I got placed with a couple where the husband was Japanese, the wife was American, and they had three kids at 17, 10, and 6 years old.

    The family was very lovely and kind, but I was always secretly disappointed to be honest. I saved up quite a bit of money and went to Japan because I wanted to learn the Japanese language and experience what a traditional Japanese home was like. The family was all bilingual, and when speaking with each other, I would say Japanese was used a bit more than English. However if I ever had any communication issues, they would pretty quickly switcd to English. Of course they were trying to be kind and also efficient with communication (heaven knows it can be frustrating to wait while someone stumbles along in their second language while you can easily communicate with them in their native language) but in the process I lost an immersion experience. I still feel like it would have been a better language experience if I was forced to struggle with my more limited vocabulary.

    The lifestyle too was sort of a hybrid. And I think that is absolutely what excellent for the family and anyone that marries into another culture. But when an exchange student is paying to visit another country to experience a particular culture, it is somewhat of a let down.

    Reading some stories here, a mixed family would absolutely be preferable to a “bad” Japanese family. However even if the family is lovely and the experience is excellent, I would almost guarantee that the exchange student will always look back at the experience with a bit of (hopefully secret) disappointment.

26. Research rotary youth exchange they’re always looking for host families

27. I’m a bit late to the party but I actually work with an exchange program in my city.

    I can only talk about my own city and other cities do things differently, but generally the group that does the placements will prioritise all Japanese families over families where there is an English speaker. Whether that’s a good or bad thing I couldn’t say personally, but that’s what the people in charge do.

    That being said my wife and I are a “back-up” family and if one of the students has a falling out with their hosts for whatever reason, they come to stay with us. I also help the kids with activities and cultural events so I’m in contact with them a lot during their stay, to help prevent any issues. There are other foreign nationals who do the same on a volunteer basis.

    If you contact your local exchange program and offer to play a supporting role there’s a change they might put you on as a backup in case the other host family doesn’t go well, or invite you to participate in events with the students.

    I had the experience a few times where my wife and I had to step in because of a cultural misunderstanding or the host family being non-ideal, or the student being problematic, or a combination of issues. It really helps when they have another person who speaks their own language to fall back on and help make sure their experience is a positive one.

    I’m glad you’re looking into it and thank you for doing so, don’t let any of the negative comments discourage you. If it’s a kids dream to come to Japan on exchange, we should do what we can to make it a positive experience.

28. I don’t have experience with Japan but I did a homestay in Germany in high school when I was 17. The reason I wanted to do the homestay was to improve my already extremely good German. I was at the point that full immersion was going to be the only way to improve my German. I was originally paired with one host family and we started exchanging emails in the summer before going to Germany for the program (this was 2001 so I realize it’s nice I had this option). I could tell they spoke English well and TBH I think they wanted to practice their English. That wasn’t going to stop me though and they were really nice people. They had biological kids and when they had grown up, had adopted some children.

    My program had a required orientation program where kids learned “survival” German (phrases like, “I am hungry” or “where is the bathroom?”) because most kids didn’t have the ability to say much despite years of lessons. While in the middle of the (boring) orientation, I called my parents and my mom mentioned that they were looking for a new host family for me because my original family was having problems with one of the adopted children and didn’t want to subject me to that. This didn’t stress me out but as I mentioned, I already felt comfortable in the language. I think for someone else this could easily be a huge stress.

    Anyway, this ended up being a great thing for me because the family that agreed to take me, reluctantly did so because their English was very rusty but their were no other options. They were relieved when they realized that I could speak German well. They ended up speaking only German and I reached basically native level German (which has since deteriorated back to just really good German due to living in Japan and learning Japanese).

    I am still in touch with my host family and have visited them since becoming an adult. My experience was great, but I think it depends on the language ability and personality of the student and the family. In my experience, students with stronger language abilities will prefer a family that doesn’t use the student’s native language. However for a student who is intermediate or below, it will likely be less stressful if they can switch to English to communicate as necessary.

    Now that was my personal experience. I can also give some experiences from others.

    One was the host student that my family hosted. I had such a good experience they decided to host someone and they hosted teenage girl. I was in college so I wasn’t around her much. She stayed with them for a year. My family was very generous and took her on multiple vacations as we believed in treating her the same as other family members (which seems to not be the norm, sadly). This girl, however, was quite spoiled and complained if she did not get what she wanted immediately. For example, she would demand high quality products be purchased for her, that people drop whatever they were doing to drive her somewhere, and other demand. Sometimes her family would send her the stuff she didn’t get from us (they were wealthy). My family nicknamed her “The Princess”, and behind the scenes I would hear complaints about her. I should mention that they called her The Princess to her face and she loved the title (so that can help you understand her personality).

    My family did remain polite, and we are still in communication with her, though my family prefers to interact with her in small doses. They also chose never to host another exchange student because the student made them very uncomfortable in their own house.

    Another experience involved a half-Japanese kid that I taught English to. His non-Japanese parent was not in the picture. So he basically only spoke Japanese and somewhat limited English (honestly it was probably upper beginner level). Since his non-Japanese parent was a person of color, he was not light skinned and dealt with the ostracism that can happen to half kids in Japan. His mom was determined to make him learn English because she felt that he would feel more comfortable in a more international community. She then pushed him into a one year exchange with only limited English. He ended up going to Denmark where he was expected to speak English and then also learn Danish. Due to his limited English skills he struggled to communicate with his host family. They also had one standard for their kids and a different standard for him (e.g. they expected him to do a ton of chores and behave in a certain manner when their kids did nothing and could behave how they want). Eventually, his host family decided to blow some situations out of proportion and demanded he be sent back to Japan (not even find another family). At this point his mom contacted me and I was asked to help with communication. The program ended up putting him in a boarding school which ended up being a better fit for him.

    I have also heard from other introverted friends who have done homestays that being introverted was problematic because the host family expected them to talk. They were naturally quiet and bc of language barrier issues, this made them quieter, which led to stress between them and the families.

    Ultimately, a homestay can be an amazing experience, but it can also be a bad fit. For a good host family, the student could be a problem. For a good student, the family could have unrealistic expectations of the student.

    It sounds like you are concerned about the student which is an important factor for being a good host family. Perhaps you would be a better fit for a beginner to intermediate level student and a Japanese only speaking family would be better for an advanced student. I couldn’t recommend a program, but whatever program you choose, you could probably make this suggestion. From what I have seen, the programs do try to make pairings that work.