I’m an insecure guy looking to date. After years of aloneness, I decided to put an end to that lifestyle by dressing better and actually going out. But, I don’t know where to meet people. Do I have to use a dating app? If so which one is the best? Any advice is appreciated.
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Dating app now a days is the popular way to connect and meet people. There’s a ton of different apps so don’t know which one is the best thought
Step 1- work on insecurity that shit will spoil anything else that happens
Step 2- join a forum where talking to new people is encouraged/mandated and women are likely to also go(bars, meetups, dating apps, hobby communities, work communities, study communities)
Step 3- talk to anyone you’re interested in
Step 4- when appropriate, propose solo meeting
Step 4.1 – success!
Step 4.2- failure, return to Step 3, or 2
I’m a big proponent of living your life in a way that makes you happy and trying to get close to the people you meet along the way. You wade through a lot of incompatible people if your most important criteria is “will date me if we meet”.
Posting here seems like a good way. Seems every 3rd post is dating difficulties.
I met my husband on Bumble.
Best way to attract women is to put sincere pictures (nothing shirtless, not just pictures of your food or animals, at least one picture of you alone so people can see who you are), and post a lengthy profile intro.
My partner’s profile gushed about how passionate he is for art, and his profile had some of his art. It was also covered in puns and dad jokes, which I love.
On the first date at least talk to them like you’re getting to know a new friend, not like you’re just trying to get them in bed. I think if you interact with them like “this is a new friend” it’ll also take pressure off of you and the expectations for the relationship. Then from the next few dates you can become more focused on romance/relationship topics.
Dating is fun but I think the best thing you can do is to date yourself and thereby feel good about yourself
Take yourself out to nice and fun and interesting things and places. Realise the person who took you to those things and the value in such a person
Not only will this make you feel better which might do a bit for your confidence but it also will give you interesting things to talk about and maybe a pic of two to use for apps
On that front, balance apps with other stuff. Apps are convinient but because of that they’re often a bit soul destroying and have a ton of people who put in zero real effort BUT have huge demands. Again, date yourself should you feel down about it
You’ll be told there’s a clear formula to getting dates, you must have X thing or you’re worthless (Some charmer has already mentioned height…), stay in your “league” etc etc – those are only true until its not. Oddly people, much less a specific gender, aren’t homogeneous in preferences….
Those ideas are MOSTLY there to make you buy stuff you probs don’t need (So learn to be discerning!). Shocker – ask women who know you or are similar to the type you like for advice on how to tell what to pay attention to
Last thing – of course some things absolutely help but imo; Funny wins. Not just in dating either.
Napoleon Bonaparte — ‘A woman laughing is a woman conquered.’
Marilyn Monroe – ‘If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.’
French Proverb – ‘a woman who laughs is half in your bed’
And just because I’ve had at least 4 people come back to me angry because THEIR favourite joke didn’t land. Make HER laugh, HER laugh!
Date yourself and good luck!
Bars and clubs. Drink until you feel confident and then go and hit on lots of people until one accepts you.
If you’re still insecure and working on that, I recommend waiting on dating and work on yourself some more. Go out and meet people, talk to people, especially women out there. Get used to talking and relating to people, at the same time holding off on dating until you feel more confident in yourself.
No one is 100% free of insecurities but if you’re introducing yourself as an insecure guy that should be a top priority to work on before you properly date.
Mixers
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Share your hobbies and show that you have interests other than “food” and “movies”. Woman with the same hobbies are much more likely to match.
Met my partner on tinder through hiking. He’s short too 😉 we both love mountains and had lots to talk about from the start because of that