I’ve been living here for more than 2 years which I know isn’t long, but the homesickness just isn’t going away. I know for a fact that going home would suck and I don’t want to do that, but for some reason I still feel so emotionally attached and sometimes can’t sleep cause I’m thinking too much about my family and that I’m starting a new family with my wife away from them.
Does anyone else get this?
31 comments
Not really. but I also contact my friends and family using discord and whatever so I don’t really feel detached with them. Maybe contact them a little more frequently
Not really, I hate my home country. You need to know that if you want to change, you have to let the old go away. Otherwise you can’t move on. It’s just a choice and having both is not possible.
Yeah I do. Thinking of leaving Japan soon after 4 years of never going back to see family and friends because I couldn’t afford i
Nope.
I sympathize, I really do, but I honestly think I’d rather die than go back even to visit at this point.
I miss friends and family sure, but nothing stops me from just bringing them here to visit.
Yeah and I made the decision to leave in two weeks
Yeah. I’ve been here since 2009. It’s gotten worse recently. I don’t want to move home because it’s unlivable but I don’t know what I’m gonna do.
I’m sorry to hear you feel that way. For me it got easier with time. I hate my home country and haven’t been there since early 2020. I am traveling to Europe soon and I’m going for a holiday to another country, I won’t even pay extra to have a layover in my home country since my best friend there has gone back to Iran for her yearly home visit. My family went to visit my sister in North America last year but hasn’t bothered to visit me and my son so I’m going not going to make any effort to see them.
Yeah sometimes I do. When that happens I take a walk around my home, tell my family I love them the next morning, then arrange a hangout with my friends the next or so weekends.
it is a hard situation, but since this feeling does nit go off, it could be nice to go back home for a while, to “compare” the real situation, you probably are comparing with a fictional version of your home country.
and if you are starting a family, think as a father, how your wife, children would benefit from it, if there’s a good school, if it’s safe, etc. then you decide?
or maybe living in japan is best for you, but you just need more trips back “home”? anyway, hope
it helped..
Nope.
I would like me a proper pizza from back home tho…
I wake up because I dream I’m back in my home country and I need to take an airplane asap to work next day in Japan and see my wife/son, I feel super anxious of not being able to come back and terrible depressed inside my dream not being able to talk to them, for me it feels like my life/family is here.
Is kinda sad coz I love my parents as well, but I think they get it , the love for their own children’s.
At least I drop in (video call) every day for 10 years.
Yeah, this is normal. You’ll meet many foreigners in Japan who left bad home situations and act like it’s weird of you to miss your family because they don’t miss theirs, but it really is normal and natural to miss people you care about. Luckily there are many ways to stay in touch these days.
I’m from the US. I don’t think I need to explain why I would never want to go back lol. That being said, I have now been living here long enough that I have to properly consider my future with regard to employment and finances. I have been blessed to find a wonderful Japanese partner whom I would love to spend my life with, however I do not want to work in these poor-paying “English” jobs any longer. Although my Japanese level is high, I can’t seem to find a job that pays any better than what I currently make. Unfortunately, my field isn’t in IT so I can’t make those big bucks that the IT bros are making. Sad life.
Never. Occasionally I wake up deeply missing breakfast burritos though
I have considered Japan my second home.
I still get homesick sometimes but when I visit my home country for awhile I actually miss Japan so my homesickness just never goes away.
Yes, all the time. As unlivable as my birthplace is becoming, I miss family more than ever.
Part of the time, it’s them and not you. When I first came here I felt tremendous pressure not to bother them and to be out in the world doing my own thing, but now that my parents are older, they seem to want me and my siblings closer to them. I think this happens a lot for parents of adult children. They’re reaching their 70s and 80s, retiring, getting a little lonely, replacing memories of annoying young/teenage children with those of mature adult children who don’t cause trouble.
Of course, these days a flight costs more than I earn in a month. I think the extremely high costs of flights is also a factor in people’s homesickness
Now it’s naps for me. All my existential dread comes at the tail end of a nap, and the dreams of home have become more and more urgent over the past two or three years (been here since 2012). It’s tough.
No. I’ve always thought of life in Japan as a new chapter and journey of independence. So I guess it could depend on your perspective of things. Also, we live in a day and age of a global society where it’s common for social connections to expand beyond one’s place of origin and the internet and technology makes it very easy to keep in contact with family and friends.
Although I certainly think it’s normal to fixate on certain aspects of life. Family and friends are no exception.
I woke last night with a killer guitar riff going through my head. Unfortunately it was gone by the morning.
For me it’s definitely familysickness I guess you could call it.
I had to go home recently for family matters and while I missed them and loved them dearly, it was a good reminder that there’s nothing really in that country for me. Also fuck that plane ticket drained my whole bank account.
I do wish I could move them here though, but that’s having my cake and eating it too.
Only during COVID restrictions. Otherwise just going back home for a week or three cured me of those feeling.
Recently, I have started to often dream about the last job that I had in my home country, before I left for Japan almost 25 years ago. Maybe it’s time to return to spend my twilight months/years within the culture, where my roots are?
Nope. I love my family but I’m here for a reason and I’m happier here.
Yeah I miss them more and more. Especially since becoming a father and an uncle the feeling has become more profound. I can tell my parents are having a bit of a difficult time because they can’t see their grandkid often, and it sucks when I realise that my nephews and nieces don’t really know me yet. I guess this could improve in the future, as they can understand more when they get older, but it’s quite tough at the moment.
It’s also difficult being away from family as a father, because they would really enjoy helping us out. My wife’s family have been quite good, but not quite as involved as my parents are with my nieces and nephews. I have felt somewhat isolated since becoming a parent here, and dare I say it has been a bit lonely, missing out on sharing a lot of moments. There are definitely difficulties here being a parent and the usual people I would ask for advice can’t really help me as much.
Friends is a bit different. I get the blame for not being able to stay in touch cos I moved here, but I think that they’re all getting on with their own thing now anyway. My core group see each other maybe once or twice a year, and I’m not sure if that side would be very active if I moved back anyway. Maybe growing apart from friends is part of getting older? Seems to be quite normal. On the other hand, there is some regret there because to be sure – moving here has faded out a number of good friendships I had. There’s just no way to keep them going long term.
Overall though, I think it’s for the best. Obviously I’ll never know but I don’t know if I would ever have settled down back home, things don’t seem to change, and I was quite wayward before I moved here.
EDIT – perhaps the feeling you are having is loneliness? Do you have an active social life? For me, if I’ve got a good balance between work and social life, and I’m busy but not too busy, then that feeling is not usually a big deal. However, like now, my life is out of balance and this feeling is quite strong.
To the point where it messed with my sleep? No. Never. But I do get some homesickness, even now 15 years after leaving. But honestly, I find more and more thay going back to visit doesn’t fix that feeling as the home that I’m missing just doesn’t exist anymore. It’s changed too much and is lost to time.
I call home everyday, so that helps with missing my family.
My BFF and I text everyday and everyone else I see on Facebook.
The only time I’m really homesick is Christmas or birthdays.
It is what it is.
I’ve been in Japan for a long time and have my own family I love more than anything.
I also love my family back in my home country to bits and miss them every second.
I sometimes get homesick but then I realise my problem is having two places and two families I love too much. Some people have nothing.
That’s quite a lovely problem.
(Doesn’t help but you get what I mean)
Around the holidays of my home country I do feel a little homesick or lonely. But thanks to FaceTime (or any other video calling app) that feeling is drastically reduced. And it also helps that I also have someone I love here as well and their family makes me feel welcome in times of loneliness.
Nah
Somewhat. I used to really miss my family and feel immense pressure as if I have to go back soon but it’s gotten easier. Visited them finally after 3 years here and it tore me apart having to comeback to Japan but I’m finally starting to feel successful in my life here with how my career i s going, and my mother came to visit recently and it really did remind me that living in Japan and speaking the language, and having a partner who’s Japanese, I’ve come a long way in life since when I first left and even if Japan loses its “luster” as most places do when you call them home, it is pretty cool/convenient to live here.
It gets easier once you start building those connections here and focus on those relationships, careers, etc.
I fucking miss good everything bagels though.
I think I had a nightmare once that I had to go BACK to America, but never any kind of dream about missing it.