I’ve been an ALT for two years. I moved to a new city and school this year, and am not enjoying it. My new school is very unfriendly towards me, apart from the JTEs. It’s been like this since day 1. I’d say it ranges from complete lack of interest to slight disdain. I don’t know, maybe I’m a bad fit for this school or maybe they just suck.
Anyways, I’m tired of announcing ohayougozaimasu in the staff room. It makes me feel bad saying it and getting such a bad response from the teachers. Is it a huge taboo if I just stop saying it? I know it’s gonna be bad if I don’t say it, I just wanna know how bad.
I should mention, I don’t mind the aisatsu with the teachers individually.
Alright thanks.
Thanks for the replies. It’s nice to hear your stories and what you do in regards to the aisatsu.
I think perhaps I’m being a bit overly sensitive. I think I’ll just keep trudging on with the aisatsu. The biggest thing is the contrast between this school and my previous school. Everyone was so much nicer.
20 comments
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
But really, if they don’t care to talk to you anyways why worry about it?
Aren’t you overthinking it? Was it really somehting you were forced to say anyway? Sometimes I say it? Sometimes I don’t. I don’t really much think about it. Sometimes I’m just like “See you.” in English.
If it’s a busy JHS, I can totally see them ignoring you. Cue Ain’t no one got time for that meme. How much of it is your attitude or your own confidence vs what the reality is. Maybe you’re being overly sensative. Maybe they just don’t “do that” at that school.
things are bad. Can they be worse? Oh yeah, they can, you HAVE NO IDEA how bad it can get.
Do yourself a favor and be nice to everybody or else, it will be you who suffers the consequences, even if its not your fault they suck.
Are you serious?
Even at a relaxed dispatch company, the schools will call the office and report you for not being friendly if you don’t say that shit.
As an employee of the BOE, you HAVE TO SAY IT.
Direct consequences: none
Indirect consequences: it depends?
Basically, it depends on your school’s culture. At some schools, everyone says it. At many schools, some teachers don’t. At my school, teachers typically give aisatsu for the teachers sitting immediately next to them and then the people they like or work closely with and kind of ignore everyone else.
ALTs are basically in a gray zone where no one expects you to actually know Japanese culture, so if you stop giving aisatsu it will probably be ascribed to your outsiderness rather than your unfriendliness. But I have seen JTEs who bully ALTs with silent treatment, refusing to give them aisatsu, so I totally get not wanting to give it to those bullies.
On the other hand, I have seen situations where JTEs who want to get rid of ALTs and foreign teachers build their case out of things like the foreign teacher not giving aisatsu, so therefore they are “unfriendly” and a “bad fit” for the school. If you do your job well and the principal is happy with your work, it will never be brought up, but if even one big thing goes wrong, it could be brought up as “evidence” that the ALT has always been bad.
So if you aren’t absolutely sure where you stand and things haven’t gotten so bad that you DGAF about getting recontracted, when it comes to little gestures like this I would suggest that the “kill ’em with kindness” approach is better than responding to the bullying in kind.
“maybe they just suck”
Yes, they suck. When someone doesn’t return your greeting, it means they don’t feel the need to speak to you since they don’t feel they have a relationship with you. This isn’t anything you’ve done wrong; it’s how Japanese society works – there is the “in” group, and then there is everyone else.
You’d think that as you are a new person in school the staff would go out of their way to make you feel accepted and comfortable. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works when you’re both a foreigner and a temp staff. You are the outsider, in other words, and thus is it up to you to build the relationship.
You don’t have to do that, of course; since this really is just a temp job, you can simply leave things the way they are and just keep on saying “ohayo” but without any expectation they will return your greeting. This will fulfill the minimum social expectations.
Alternatively, you could put far more effort into it and try to be more friendly so as to bridge that gap, at least a little. This means you’ll need to try to get to know them better individually. There are several ways to do this:
1. Find out their names and use their names in your greeing: “Sato san, ohayo!”
2. When you greet them, make sure you smile big, say everything in an exaggeratedly friendly way, and whenever you can, stop to chat – again, even just a mention of the weather will help.
3. Stop to chat when you see them around the school. Even just “kyo wa ii tenki desu ne” will break the ice a bit more.
4. Bring omiyage after every single trip you take. Go around and make a show of giving one to teach staff member. And if you can, bake something and bring it in for them. Make out like it’s not a big deal, like “I made too many cookies, I thought I’d bring them into work. Enjoy!”
5. There will always be at least one person who is friendlier and nicer than the others. Make extra effort to cultivate that relationship.
6. Try to find out from the friendly person what sort of socializing everyone is doing after work. If you can get yourself invited – success! You have arrived. But TBH this is very unlikely and would probably take you a couple of years. 🙂
And yes, this process is long and difficult and requires you to be the one making ALL the effort. And even with all this effort, you may only make a tiny crack in the ice.
It really is up to you to decide whether you have the energy for it or whether it is worth it. Like I said, you can slide by without bothering, and just continue with a perfunctory greeting – that really is all they expect, anyway.
I do not recommend skipping the greeting. Someone is bound to complain, and it will only hurt you in the long run. After all, they are Japanese, and they get to be as rude as they like; but as the temp gaijin, you cannot. Keep that in mind.
Depends on how much you care. I used to work at two amazing schools that would literally call each other up to organize which school’s events I could go to, included me in every teachers trip, women’s lunches, etc. I loved the schools and enthusiastically greeted everyone and went above and beyond to fit in.
Then my company decided to move me to a notoriously ‘bad’ school because the school drove the former alt to quit, and with my good track record they assumed I could handle it. But my company went about it by calling me the last day of school and telling me that if I didn’t verbally announce then and there on the phone that I was happy with the move, they could replace me. I was devastated but I figured I had no options so I accepted, but it really drove home the fact that my company did not give a damn about me.
Cue starting at the new school. Because of scheduling, I missed the day where all the new teachers were introduced, but I wasn’t even invited to the new teacher nomikai. At my old schools I always joined the staff for the morning smaller group meeting (with the principal, vp, and other non-home room teachers) but here they told me not to join. They even never once included me in passing out the morning green tea, even though I brought my own cup. To be fair, most of the teachers themselves were friendly, but the vibe in the teachers room was icy. I even brought omiyage after every trip I took at first ( and it was a 60+member staff) then stopped after I returned from summer break to find every teacher’s desk covered in a stack on omiyage but not a single piece on mine. They didn’t even include me when passing my own omiyage out 😂
Then one day there was an accident and I was late for the full staff morning meeting. I didn’t want to walk in halfway through, so I just went up to the English classroom to do some planning. I went back to the staff room after I heard the teachers leaving, but not a single soul acknowledged me. That’s when I realized nothing mattered. So I started testing it out- I stopped coming to the morning meeting, nobody noticed or said anything. My first class of the day was usually 3rd period after break, so I started showing up later and later. Eventually I would show up just before nakayasumi, teach my classes, and leave as soon as school was over. Not a single word was said to me about it about it.
I loved the students and enjoyed my classes. I greeted them and the teachers who did the same to me. But don’t stress yourself out over people who are assholes. The teacher that my school drove away before me was Japanese American, as in her parents were both immigrants from Japan and she spoke fluent Japanese but they still treated her like dirt. They did the same to me. I’m not gonna waste my time nor friendliness over people who can’t return a common courtesy. (I did quit the company after 2 years of this though. Best decision I ever made)
You gave it a shot and they don’t care. I’d stop.
Why should teachers care about you? To them you’re just a part timer (if you have multiple schools) and you being foreign doesn’t matter to them. Lack of aisatsu is a bit rude but there’s no rule saying they have to acknowledge it.
I’d keep saying it and ignore people who ignore you.
What bad response do you get? You mean no one says it back to you?
Also, are you at a junior high? I find those teachers to be the least sociable of all human beings on the planet.
You’ll look rude and/or socially awkward
These days, I never announce when I walk in the teacher’s room. I’m usually one of the first people there, and the others look busy. However, if I make eye contact with someone or someone says it to me, then I respond. I do greet everyone when I’m walking down the hallways, though.
As for the students, I try to engage with everyone I see. Maybe it’s a generalization, but overall, I am there for the students. I want them to feel acknowledged and know that I’m happy to see them at school that day. I take a special interest in the quiet or socially awkward kids. And If I can tell that a kid is having a rough time with something, I hope my greeting is at least something positive they can have that day.
You make it sound like you’re having to get into position and salute them or something? Just say it in a louder voice than normal as you stroll in and out on autopilot, it’s not a big deal, and people may think you’re rude if you don’t.
You are exactly the kind of ALT that my wife, an English teacher at JHS, has to deal with. They don’t say hello, they don’t help unless asked, they spend most of the day at their desks watching videos or studying Japanese, they often say “I don’t know” when asked about something in English… Thx the B.O.E is currently thinking about replacing them with any free A.I.
I’m really enjoying reading this while I’m sitting in the teachers room. 😆
Maybe they don’t know when you’re there….otherwise there aren’t any serious issues…some might think you’re rude but it can be chalked up to cultural differences and most Japanese people won’t care.
They remove a knuckle’s worth of a finger for every missed Aisatsu. Those guys you see out in kabukicho with the short pinkies? Real forgetful and inconsiderate. Watch yourself.
Why not directly ask them why they don’t like you and feel the need to be unfriendly at work? 😉
Just say it. You’re not there to make friends so their reaction doesn’t matter. That’s on them.
Do your job and what’s expected of you etiquette wise and leave it at that.
If it were me, I would just announce it even louder each day. Rub it in that they are the rude ones and you are trying.