It’s like I have a kid, and he’s a sweet baby and we have so much fun going places when he was a toddler, and he grows up and goes to school and becomes a rebellious teen (中二病) and somehow gets through that and and you have to pay for expensive schools and cram schools because somehow only jr. high school is guaranteed in Japan, and now he is a freaking adult who votes and works and goes to university and is sitting next to me watching the Tigers beat the Swallows 1-0 in the 9th inning.
I don’t even know. I’m a parent. In Japan.
We just moved here and my kid is four. It’s just like parenting in the states. He’s crazy picky about food, shy around others, refuses to bow or say konnichiwa.
Everyone is really nice to him and very sweet. We haven’t looked at schools yet, and not sure how long we’ll be here 🤷🏻♀️
Depends. Are you trying to compare to how it would be in your home country? If I were in the U.S., my wife’s two c-sections would likely have been out of insurance. Here we actually got money in support. My younger daughter almost lost her life twice due to freak illnesses and all in hospital stay, including allowing me and my wife to sleep bedside, were covered. I shudder to think of the costs and IF they would have been able to save her back home.
That said, my wife is native and I am comfortable communicating here (though in no way “native level fluent”). The whole ordeal may not feel as comfortable if both you and your spouse are foreigners w/o much confidence in your language ability, but there tends to be sufficient EN support in larger cities.
Depending on the location a lot of support by way of subsidies for education and otherwise. Though, some cities are straight up broke, and/or prioritize funds for their aging population rather than young families. Just saying, be careful about where you choose to live. (Speaking from experience on that part.)
You can kiss having a clean house and privacy goodbye for the next 18+ years. You can kiss spontaneous intimacy goodbye. You’re going to be dealing with diapers and night feedings and then be their best bud until they hit puberty then be eww old person till they mature enough to decide they want to be your friend again. You’re going to be confessor professor and ATM.
So basically the same as being a parent anywhere else in the world but in Japan!
The government provides a lot of support so it’s pretty good.
The only country where I have experience being a father is Japan, so it’s hard making a comparison, but anyway…
– It was a suprised when my wife stayed almost a week at the hospital after giving birth. Where I came from, if there are no complications then generally the mum and baby are discharged the next day. – Paternity leaves are wonderful. Back home, it’s unthinkable that a father can take a few months off when his baby is born. – Receiving free medical care at pretty much every where is nice. – Nursery school is expensive, but my eldest will be in 3 years old class from next year, so it should be cheaper.
Yes.
As a foreign mother, being a parent specifically in japan as opposed to my homecountry means having no additional support, since my mother is 8000km away (my mother-in-law is 3h of train away, my husband leaves for work at 5:30 and returns around 18:30, 6 days a week).
On saturday i had some kind of heatstroke (head pounding and 39° fever) after 3 days of walking under the sun, but i still had to wake up with her at 6am and spend the day playing. It’s the same everytime i’m sick (luckily i rarely am) or when she keeps me awake all night.
I love her but damn, i’m tired. I dream to sleep until 9am someday.
Lot of good points here already, but I will just chime in to say that when your daughter has a high fever at night and you need to take her to the ER and you brace for the bill that you know would crush your finances for years in your home country (US here) and the bill is 0 yen, the relief you feel in that already stressful moment will make you happier than you have ever felt in your life. It may even move you to sob uncontrollably if experience is any indication.
In terms of raising children, I think it can’t be overstated how important healthcare is to your peace of mind. Not having to weigh the damage to your wallet vs the health of your child when you know something is wrong is an absolute godsend that I think I could never trade for any benefit of being in my home country.
For all the insults and complaints I throw at Japan, I have to say having a child here is very good. The level of care we had when our son was born was very impressive and wonderful. My wife had a length of time off work that would be unthinkable in the UK and I had some time off too. Support is everywhere, we do have to pay for nursery but we get support payments from the government even though we both work and got random vouchers for things when he was still a baby. Overall it’s great but I imagine the problems that will come won’t be any different from anywhere else in the world.
Having all my daughter’s medical bills free for like 1.5 years is great. Getting into hoikuen sucked so competitive. Corona precautions caused me to miss so much work (one fever and it’s two days break from going). Having no support network really sucks my family in the states and my wife’s family is across the country. Money from the government is okay but all benefits are capped by income and we rarely get support. Post birth support was good, getting a maid to come 4 hrs each day for like 2k yen each time was nice (she cooked and cleaned). Epidural costs money and not covered by insurance.
overall better than the US but not perfect
Fantastic. I’ve been going to the same outdoor pool with my daughter since she was three. Sadly, this year will be the last time. She leaves these shores for pastures new in the autumn…
Foreign mother with Japanese husband here. Overall I believe Japan is an excellent country to have children: It‘s very safe, other kids and their parents tend to be well-mannered, put emphasis on education and at least in our experience have been friendly towards mixed children. My 4 year old came home the other day from hoikuen, seemingly overnight being able to read/write hiragana. Just because the other kids also knew and practiced hiragana, so this kind of rubbed off. I would say the hardest part of having kids in Japan is finding a good employer that has a decent work-life balance. My company (German/multinational) is quite understanding, but my husband gets the occasional strange stare at his company (British, but with only local Japanese team here), when he is not available 24/7 due to a sick child for instance. Might of course also have to do with the fact that as a Japanese, he is held to an even stricter standard.
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It’s like I have a kid, and he’s a sweet baby and we have so much fun going places when he was a toddler, and he grows up and goes to school and becomes a rebellious teen (中二病) and somehow gets through that and and you have to pay for expensive schools and cram schools because somehow only jr. high school is guaranteed in Japan, and now he is a freaking adult who votes and works and goes to university and is sitting next to me watching the Tigers beat the Swallows 1-0 in the 9th inning.
I don’t even know. I’m a parent. In Japan.
We just moved here and my kid is four. It’s just like parenting in the states. He’s crazy picky about food, shy around others, refuses to bow or say konnichiwa.
Everyone is really nice to him and very sweet. We haven’t looked at schools yet, and not sure how long we’ll be here 🤷🏻♀️
Depends. Are you trying to compare to how it would be in your home country? If I were in the U.S., my wife’s two c-sections would likely have been out of insurance. Here we actually got money in support. My younger daughter almost lost her life twice due to freak illnesses and all in hospital stay, including allowing me and my wife to sleep bedside, were covered. I shudder to think of the costs and IF they would have been able to save her back home.
That said, my wife is native and I am comfortable communicating here (though in no way “native level fluent”). The whole ordeal may not feel as comfortable if both you and your spouse are foreigners w/o much confidence in your language ability, but there tends to be sufficient EN support in larger cities.
Depending on the location a lot of support by way of subsidies for education and otherwise. Though, some cities are straight up broke, and/or prioritize funds for their aging population rather than young families. Just saying, be careful about where you choose to live. (Speaking from experience on that part.)
You can kiss having a clean house and privacy goodbye for the next 18+ years. You can kiss spontaneous intimacy goodbye. You’re going to be dealing with diapers and night feedings and then be their best bud until they hit puberty then be eww old person till they mature enough to decide they want to be your friend again. You’re going to be confessor professor and ATM.
So basically the same as being a parent anywhere else in the world but in Japan!
The government provides a lot of support so it’s pretty good.
The only country where I have experience being a father is Japan, so it’s hard making a comparison, but anyway…
– It was a suprised when my wife stayed almost a week at the hospital after giving birth. Where I came from, if there are no complications then generally the mum and baby are discharged the next day.
– Paternity leaves are wonderful. Back home, it’s unthinkable that a father can take a few months off when his baby is born.
– Receiving free medical care at pretty much every where is nice.
– Nursery school is expensive, but my eldest will be in 3 years old class from next year, so it should be cheaper.
Yes.
As a foreign mother, being a parent specifically in japan as opposed to my homecountry means having no additional support, since my mother is 8000km away (my mother-in-law is 3h of train away, my husband leaves for work at 5:30 and returns around 18:30, 6 days a week).
On saturday i had some kind of heatstroke (head pounding and 39° fever) after 3 days of walking under the sun, but i still had to wake up with her at 6am and spend the day playing. It’s the same everytime i’m sick (luckily i rarely am) or when she keeps me awake all night.
I love her but damn, i’m tired. I dream to sleep until 9am someday.
Lot of good points here already, but I will just chime in to say that when your daughter has a high fever at night and you need to take her to the ER and you brace for the bill that you know would crush your finances for years in your home country (US here) and the bill is 0 yen, the relief you feel in that already stressful moment will make you happier than you have ever felt in your life. It may even move you to sob uncontrollably if experience is any indication.
In terms of raising children, I think it can’t be overstated how important healthcare is to your peace of mind. Not having to weigh the damage to your wallet vs the health of your child when you know something is wrong is an absolute godsend that I think I could never trade for any benefit of being in my home country.
For all the insults and complaints I throw at Japan, I have to say having a child here is very good. The level of care we had when our son was born was very impressive and wonderful. My wife had a length of time off work that would be unthinkable in the UK and I had some time off too.
Support is everywhere, we do have to pay for nursery but we get support payments from the government even though we both work and got random vouchers for things when he was still a baby.
Overall it’s great but I imagine the problems that will come won’t be any different from anywhere else in the world.
Having all my daughter’s medical bills free for like 1.5 years is great. Getting into hoikuen sucked so competitive. Corona precautions caused me to miss so much work (one fever and it’s two days break from going). Having no support network really sucks my family in the states and my wife’s family is across the country. Money from the government is okay but all benefits are capped by income and we rarely get support. Post birth support was good, getting a maid to come 4 hrs each day for like 2k yen each time was nice (she cooked and cleaned). Epidural costs money and not covered by insurance.
overall better than the US but not perfect
Fantastic. I’ve been going to the same outdoor pool with my daughter since she was three. Sadly, this year will be the last time. She leaves these shores for pastures new in the autumn…
Foreign mother with Japanese husband here. Overall I believe Japan is an excellent country to have children: It‘s very safe, other kids and their parents tend to be well-mannered, put emphasis on education and at least in our experience have been friendly towards mixed children. My 4 year old came home the other day from hoikuen, seemingly overnight being able to read/write hiragana. Just because the other kids also knew and practiced hiragana, so this kind of rubbed off. I would say the hardest part of having kids in Japan is finding a good employer that has a decent work-life balance. My company (German/multinational) is quite understanding, but my husband gets the occasional strange stare at his company (British, but with only local Japanese team here), when he is not available 24/7 due to a sick child for instance. Might of course also have to do with the fact that as a Japanese, he is held to an even stricter standard.