I thought I would post this here because I sort of had a realization I think could be helpful to others that made me understand that I do, in fact, want to move to japan. For some background, I got into anime culture when I was younger and then into Japanese culture shortly after. (Something I discovered to be quite different from each other but amazing in their own ways.) I then decided I wanted to move to Japan. Then I grew up and life really raked me over the coals (and continues to do so). \^\^; I had the drive and my dreams drained from me. About 3 years ago though I started to really want to move to Japan. After doing a deep dive into the “Bad” of the Japanese culture though, I decided that I didn’t quite want to be stuck in another country that made me miserable. (Ie: Work-life balance, gay rights/public opinion, etc..) Essentially, I just said, “I want to do this, but I don’t want to spend my life hating things.. so I guess I won’t go to live there.” From there I essentially gave up on living in Japan.
Last week I had a realization though. Yes, these things are concerning, but moving to japan doesn’t mean staying there forever. Working in japan for a few years and discovering it makes me miserable is fine because a few years isn’t what it used to be. It would be a few years of new experiences that I would almost certainly cherish and that would go by at an absurdly fast pace. If I don’t feel happy with my work-life balance or my experience of being a gay guy in Japan, then I can go back home after I’m done. The thing I understand now though is that I do definitely want to live in Japan for at least a few years and that I want to use this goal to improve areas of life I need to improve anyways. Suddenly, with all of that, I have a reason to want to be alive again and it is a perfectly selfish reason at that, which I think I need. I can’t even muster an appropriate emotional response to getting totally fucked over at this point because I am just so used to spending my life catering to others and taking blows for them. The fact that I have something entirely for me and it is a potentially life-altering goal feels so great.
So yes, the point in me writing this out to people is to A) celebrate a bit because I’m going to do this thing and B) let people who are on the fence about moving to Japan know that the time spent on a work visa isn’t that long and, if you are scared about moving, just know that moving to Japan can be pretty temporary. Yes, there are things that you can dislike about a culture, but don’t necessarily let them combined with the uncertainty of a “new life” distract you from the good that will surely come from the experience. You can live in japan without it being a lifelong thing… so try not to get too stuck in your head as I have been.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”