Hi all. A bit of a downer post.
I’m needing to vent about this and don’t have a whole lot of people to do that with right now.
My immediate next door neighbour died. He was older and didn’t go out much and had shockingly bad hygiene (this is important later). He is what would typically be considered a Hikkikomori.
I found out that he recently died in his room (and I’m assuming he wasn’t found for a little while given that he was a recluse).
I did, in fact, smell him, but chalked it up to his usual disgusting smells (pretty sure his apartment didn’t have water because he didn’t pay bills, etc), no working toilet, no showering, no throwing out trash, chain smoker etc, you do the math.
Every time I go into the foyer or turn on any fan, I can smell him and his filthy room, even after his death.
I honestly feel trapped. I don’t want to live here anymore but I can’t afford to move either. I have a cockroach issue because of his lack of hygiene and I don’t even feel comfortable or at home in my own room.
A part of me wants to just pack it in and go home as this is just one in a series of tough and uncomfortable situations I’ve found myself in in the years I’ve been in Japan.
What’s a girl to do? This is really impacting my mental health and did even when he was still alive.
* to clarify, I’m a grad student here. Moving isn’t an option financially. Hence why I feel trapped, depressed and defeated.
Thank you for just reading this.
40 comments
Don’t lose hope. The next neighbor will be better and they’re sure to clean things up well before they rent it out.
That’s really rough. Do you have someone you could stay with for a few days to just have a break from the apartment?
I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this situation, I can’t imagine the dreadful feeling of not being comfortable in your own home. I hope they clean up your neighbor’s place reeeaaaaal good, hopefully that would help with the smell and other hygiene issues.
It is too bad you can’t afford to move 🙁 I hope somehow you’ll find the chance to get out of there and get somewhere better. Ganbatte.
I know it can be terrible just thinking about death all the time whenever you’re at home. I think you should just move ASAP.
As far as I know, your landlord doesn’t HAVE to take this as a reason to break your contract, but if you have a personal relationship with them, they might.
If I didn’t have the money to move with penalty, I’d surround myself with life instead. Fill that place up with plants and flowers and pets.
I don’t have a good answer for you but I want to tell you I am really sorry you are going through this now. Things will get better.
If you want to earn some quick(-ish) money to help with moving, I’ve got a fairly simple but boring IT task I need doing. Entirely remote, and a basic computer will do. PM me if interested. Probably around 20 hours of work, with no harsh deadlines.
If you’ve got a partner, perhaps you could stay with them for a while? I’m sure the landlord will uh.. clean up over the next few weeks.
Peppermint essential oil inside of a mask may give you minor relief regarding the smell. Sorry you have to go through this. Hang in there. The apartment will get cleaned out.
Oh man… so sorry that you’re in a situation like that:( as someone else here said, I would absolutely try to fill up the apartment with things I love and that give good feelings. Stuffed toys, plants, good books, whatever makes you happy.
I’ve never been in a situation like you, but I totally get the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped… And as a fellow 20-something foreign woman living here (hope it’s ok, i took a peek at your post history 🥲), just wanted to say, stay strong!!
Have you tried talking with your landlord? Are they aware your appartement is smelly and has pests because of your neighbor’s passing and previous lack of hygiene? You should honestly start there with your complaints, which are all valid.
It’s possible they don’t realize how this is affecting your quality of life. Put pressure on them to have the room cleaned asap.
Your landlord might have another unit you can move into temporarily or permanently. I don’t think this is on you to fix.
That’s a shitty situation, no doubt. I feel for you. I do.
But, and this is going to get me downvoted, how about a little sympathy for the dead? He was a slob, he was filthy as you put it, but he was still a human being. I’m a bit taken aback that the crux of this post isn’t “my neighbour died and I feel like shit”, not even “my neighbour died and it’s creeping me out”, but that it seems to be “my selfish neighbour died and now he’s even more of a nuisance than he used to be”
As for what you can do, if you’re really not in a position to move, all you can do is wait it out until your landlord gets the room cleaned, or ask your friends if they’re willing to put you up for a bit.
However it goes, hope your situation improves soon.
Do you have any ability to contact the landlord or management company and let them know the situation and ask for the clean up to be done faster? Depending on the set up of your building, you’re probably not the only person with an adjacent room, so maybe rally together and get everyone to call the management company, if you feel comfortable talking to your other neighbors
Get a nice calming fragrances on your foyer, it may help you a little bit. Can’t imagine how bad the smell is. Things will get better soon!
Also consider taking a vacation with friends or partner, so you could forget it for a while.
I don’t have any legitimate advice but I’m wishing you the best..! Maybe a succulent friend might help? 🌵
I would ask your landlord for professional cleaning and pest control. And if there are windows ask for them to be opened to help circulate air. An airfilter unit might be a good investment for you.
I’m sorry you had to experience this. Death is a natural part of life. The way I see this is that with this person gone it can only go up from here. The room will be cleaned out professionally and a new tenant will move in.
I think you’re perfectly justified in asking for the landlord to put sufficient effort into professional cleaning until the smell, smoke, and roaches are gone.
While waiting on that, perhaps you can spend more time working outside in a park or on campus?
Can you elaborate emotionally why this makes you feel the way the you do? I mean you weren’t close to him, and people die all the time. You probably never liked him, given the way you describe him.
Are you sure there isn’t something else going on, and this is just an excuse through which to express those emotions?
Don’t feel
Tomorrow is Wednesday. You are needed at work.
You can put out bowls of vinegar and baking soda (separately!) to absorb the smell but it might still stink if they’re not deodorizing the original domain. If they sell ozium over there it does wonders, just don’t breathe it in.
Sprays don’t really help with roaches. You need cover any and all cracks and then use a gel bait that wrecks their reproductive system and thus prevent more from spawning.
Ignore anyone saying anything negative. Even if you didn’t know the guy personally it’s a weird and sad tragedy that occurred next to you. That’s very overwhelming.
It is recommended to use Japanese incense sticks. These are not fashionable incense sticks, but green, classic incense sticks that you would have at a Buddhist altar. I have heard that they were originally created to remove the smell of death.
May your life go well. i also wish your neighbour well.
Perversely, you can potentially negotiate paying a lower rent now…. but if you want to move I don’t blame you at all.
Don’t worry, maybe the new neighbor will even bring cookies!
Vendetta Plus Roach Bait, one box of Four 30 gram Tubes, with Plunger NEW! –W#436BRE T44/35PDS229408 https://a.co/d/fOwNnZM
Use this poison, put it all over your place, did wonders for my apartment after the owners refused to do anything about the ongoing infestation.
Don’t give up!
You’re going through a pretty tough time but it will get better! I lived above a hikkikomori and would get some unwelcome visitors in the middle of the effing night. I got super paranoid and still kinda am :/
I really recommend using those cockroach caps available on Amazon, they were quite effective, and I second the peppermint oil tactic.
I watched a documentary about this. Basically, the builder Ng management can’t clean until a relative or company comes to organise important goods and documents he may have had. If he has no relations, the management will hire a company. I think they have a few months to get all goods out before a cleaning company comes. Hopefully this doesn’t take long in your case! They can’t clean it out until goods have been collected, you know? Apparently two old people are dying alone a day in Tokyo in apartments sometimes going undiscovered for months.
Depending on where you live there are help groups available for foreigners who can help you deal with your landlord or even help you move without paying the front costs
I could not find the specific one I had in mind, but I did find this below..
Kanagawa Housing Support Center(Kanagawa Gaikokujin Sumai Sapoto Senta)
Content of consultation：Introduction of real estate agencies who deal with foreigners,Consultation on guarantor or troubles
Tel：045-228-1752 Fax：045-228-1768
http://sumasen.com/（外部サイト） (Japanese
I’m so sorry, I would feel disgusted too and your feelings are completely valid. What you can do from my point of view:
Buy those little black round cockroach things you can put in a corner against the roaches, open the windows as much as possible and burn incense, call the landlord and complain, you’re getting less the bare minimum by having to put up with this shit! Drop the term ‘health hazard’ (because that’s what this situation is!) multiple times and let them know you’re willing to complain elsewhere if they don’t take their responsibility. And remind him that if you move out, no Japanese will rent an apartment that is taunted like this. His place needs to be professionally cleaned and the spaces in the wall that connect the fans between the homes (sorry I don’t know the word for this in English) will need to be cleaned too. Vicks under your nose or peppermint oil will help with the smell in communal areas. This is ultimately a landlord problem and they need to step up and take their responsibility. They have done nothing to help with the situation before and let it fester (situation where because of no water a tenant is stinking up the whole place and being a health hazard) and now they need to clean up the mess they allowed to arise in the first place.
Your situation seems a whole lot better now he’s gone. You’re over the worst of it. Hang in there.
Fellow grad student here: Please go to your school’s student support desk and explain the situation. They can direct you to resources to help improve your situation, even as far as moving.
There’s also resources at your local city hall that could probably lift the burden of relocation.
Since you’re a student you have more resources available to you than you realize.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. I also live next to a hikkikomori but the only thing I need to deal with is cigarette smoke blowing into my place when the top floor window is open. Perhaps because it’s a house it’s easier to hide the problem, but yeah.
Essential oils can both kill bacteria and repel insects. I would get a diffuser and leave it running with various oil blends! 🙂 Try things like peppermint, eucalyptus, tea tree oil, rosemary, lavender, lemon oil, orange oil and cinnamon! Try mixing them and finding out what blends you like. Just make sure to keep an eye on your apartment’s humidity levels, too. Make sure it stays low enough to avoid any mold/mildew problems.
Edit: I believe incense can kill bacteria, too. If you like it, you could try burning a stick or two every now and then. I would recommend just once daily or every other day so the air doesn’t get too smoky. 🙂
There are many great responses here.
Also, though, just that *feeling* of death is often something that lingers too that can sap your energy and mental health. If you can, this weekend, take a small vacation. go do that thing you’ve been wanting to do but putting off. It will do wonders for your mh and im sure getting away, even if its to visit some friends, would be great.
I wish I could offer more. Wishing you a speedy recovery from this misfortune.
Moving isn’t an option but you can afford to go back to your country?
If you don’t like living there the only option is to move
This guy lived next door to you? How can you stand the smell?? We have a run down old low-rent divided house for elderly singles on our street which seems to have a lonely death every summer, and I can barely get 3 houses from the outside of it without wanting to gag for weeks after they’ve ripped out the tatami. I hope you’re able to get out and get some fresh air for the majority of the day until the odor finally starts to wear off. Don’t know if I’d count on anyone moving in any time soon. Cleaning, fumigating and de-stenching that place is going to take time, and it’ll still probably reek for a while until the weather cools down. The stench of death lingers like nothing else.
I believe it’s gonna take awhile to clean. I recommend getting a job working online part time or trying to save up some money or borrow money to move.
After consulting with city hall, your school, or the local foreign resident office, I would also stop paying rent until the issue is resolved.
OP, a lot of people here are suggesting essential oils to help with the smell, but PLEASE be careful as most are extremely deadly to cats. Besides that, wishing you the best and hope your situation soon improves.
Have you tried filing a complaint to the landlord? They should have used some pretty heavy cleaners and odor neutralizers. Also, let them know about the roaches.
If the pests are coming from outside, you can consider lining some food grade powdered diatomaceous earth.
Does the front walkway smell bad as well? You can consider sealing the air outlet near the foyer and make it as air tight as possible, do try to open your door a little everyday to get some fresh air in.
Smell your cushioned items and clothes at home, make sure it is not trapping the smells, you might want to consider placing deodorizers on your bedding and clothes whenever you are out.
If you have just a little spare cash you can consider a dedorizing air purifier, make sure it is deodorizing.