I’m interested in finding a serious partner, and I’ve used almost every method you can think of (dating apps, joining local clubs/circles to expand social circle, going out and actively engaging with people in clubs, bars, around the city). I’ve dating a couple women in Japan, although most relationship did not work out for various reasons (schedules didn’t match so unable to meet much, having to move back home to their hometown far away from the city we met and lived in, etc.), and recently I’ve had trouble finding opportunities to meet new people. Busier with work (have to travel a lot), getting a bit older (32 now so club/bar scene isn’t really as appealing), and online dating seems to have degraded since I’ve tried it a few years ago (more sakuras, scammers, less quality interactions).
With the background out of the way, I’m interested in trying out a marriage agency, as I’ve heard mixed, but some positive feedback on experiences with them from Japanese friends. The biggest hurdle I’ve hit so far is the requirement of a bachelor’s certificate, which you need to get from your local ward office, but they can only issues these to Japan citizens. Do people have experience working around this, recommendations for marriage agencies (in Tokyo) that don’t require this, or would like to share experiences you or friends of yours have had with these marriage agencies? Thank you for any input or help, and I’m interested to hear more about these agencies from the members of this community.
13 comments
If you go into it as a transaction, that is what you are going to end up with.
The whole marriage industry here always feels kinda icky and predatory. (Though the same can be said for a lot of places.)
Best of luck man.
hmm if meeting people irl doesn’t work for you then i don’t think marriage agency works. Basically it’s two people seeing each other as numbers (income, age, etc.), matching up for financial motives and every single date is arranged by the agency so i think this is right to divorce after 3 years. It works for old fashioned people who is too shy to start a conversation with opposite sex or talk about their love matter with friends. Your case, may be you should rely on friends of friends cuz there is sense of guarantee
I have no experience with this industry, but maybe have a look at temple matchmaking services (お寺婚活/寺コン) if you want something less predatory.
Sorry no personal experience, but my Japanese friends also had positive experiences with them. Although they typically had to try out two or three agencies before finding success.
I don’t think the bachelor’s certificate is a huge hurdle. You need one from your country of origin to get married in Japan anyway, so just get that + a certified translation if needed.
Also I think stats are hugely in favor of these services, like divorce rate is far lower compared to normal marriages, so good luck.
Are you a westerner looking for a Japanese wife? If not, ignore this. I only ask because a lot of westerners, including myself, came to Japan without knowing how marriage works in Japan with Japanese. I was fortunate to be schooled by many colleagues at izakaya after work on how the whole courtship and marriage thing works. It also depends on how traditional your goals and requirements are. If you’re desiring to have children then don’t expect a western-style lovey-dovey swept off her feet type courtship to yield something favorable. Just be realistic in your expectations and lose any notions of having a western-style marriage with a Japanese wife. Decoding honne and tatemae is complex stuff, take it seriously and try to learn as much as possible about the endgame.
As others have already said, if you decide to pursue this path you’re simply going to end up with a marriage akin to a business transaction. If you’re fine with that, go for it.
They are expensive so you better have the cash.
[This guy](/r/JapanDating/comments/152lh1g/just_joined_a_matchmaking_agency_as_a_foreigner/) can probably answer all your questions. You can get the certificate you need from your embassy, it should be very easy.
There are also international agencies, the famous “russian bride” kind, but there are people from every country in the world. In particular, you can find women from third world countries that are trying to escape and have a better life.
You can get a bachelor certificate from your embassy.
Find a woman in real life the natural way. Anything that has to SET YOU UP isn’t real, you will hate it. If you can’t find anyone, buy a Nintendo Switch. Single people seem good as long as they have that.
I met my husband through a marriage agency (not Tokyo). We just lucked out and really hit it off on our first date. We’ve been married since 2018 and we have a son together. We’re very happy.
Yoga class.
> recommendations for marriage agencies (in Tokyo) that don’t require this [bachelor certificate],
It’s a legal requirement so none. You need to ask they customer support if they will allow something else, but I expect most will not even bother.
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Serious apps, like Pairs might be your best bet. They even have a platinum mode which is supposed to filter for only very serious people.