I have a Semester exchange coming up, starting later this year and ending around March next year. I have been going through phases of excited, nervous and doubt for awhile. However, over the past 2 weeks I have been visiting Japan just as a vacation, but this has given me more doubts about the exchange than before. I knew that as a foreigner I would stand out no matter what I did but I didn’t expect it to wear me down as much as it has. I feel like I am always hyper aware of how much I stand out and can’t really relax whether I am eating a meal or just exploring, it doesn’t help when I often hear people mentioning gaikokujin and just knowing they are talking about me. If I am feeling like this after only 2 weeks how will I be feeling for 6 months? I really don’t know what to do.
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**Unsure about Semester exchange**
I have a Semester exchange coming up, starting later this year and ending around March next year. I have been going through phases of excited, nervous and doubt for awhile. However, over the past 2 weeks I have been visiting Japan just as a vacation, but this has gives me more doubts about the exchange than before. I knew that as a foreigner I would stand out no matter what I did but I didn’t expect it to wear me down as much as it has. I feel like I am always hyper aware of how much I stand out and can’t really relax whether I am eating a meal or just exploring, it doesn’t help when I often hear people mentioning gaikokujin and just knowing they are talking about me. If I am feeling like this after only 2 weeks how will I be feeling for 6 months? I really don’t know what to do.
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>gaikokujin and just knowing they are talking about me
That’s weirdly.. I’m not sure how to say, self-centered?
The world doesn’t revolve around you, I can think of a million different context where the word “Foreigner” would be used without being directly about you. Unless there was something specific bringing attention to you like wearing something weird or acting weird, which would likely bring attention anywhere else too.
If standing out bothers you however, this might not be the country for you, sorry to say. Japan is very homogeneous and you’ll stand out no matter what just by virtue of not being Japanese yourself.