In short, I’m a university student working part-time at a restaurant. In my first week there, she was the first person who talked to me. She even asked for my Instagram and inquired if I had a girlfriend and what my type was. I thought she was just being friendly, so I responded by helping her on the job. Sometimes she complimented me, saying things like “…さん可愛” (you’re cute) and “…さん好き” (I like you) or even “…さん大好き” (I really like you) oi
ut of the blue. dead ass, I interpreted these as friendly expressions like “thank you, love” or “love ya” between friends. Now she has a boyfriend, and I’ve realized that I might have developed feelings for her too.💀
should I just text her and telling her how I feel ? because holding this inside make me feel super uncomfortable.
or
maybe I was right that she was just being nice and nothing more ?
26 comments
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She has a boyfriend now, you missed your chance.
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We’ve all been that young dum guy that didn’t read the signals. Learn from it and move on buddy.
It seems like she told the 店長 to align our work schedules, and she probably hasn’t informed him to change it back 🥲. As a result, I now see her every time I go to work. it hurt 🗿
Be content with being a friend. You missed your chance this time, but there may be a chance for you both later down the line. Also she could be an awesome wing girl / introduce you to her friends.
What, you want her to dump the other guy to date you? Maybe you’ll even go to the airport and confess your feelings right before her flight?
She’s seeing someone else. Don’t come to her with your shoulda coulda woulda confession.
Maybe one day she’ll be single again. You may or may not feel the same way at that time.
She gave you all the signals she could possibly give. Now, you dont need to “share your feelings” or whatnot. All you need to do is to ask her to go have dinner or a drink after-work.
Just tell her. Be a man. If her relationship is strong she‘ll reject you, if not she might break up for you. You will get stronger emotionally from asking. I can’t repeat it enough. Be a man. Don‘t be like these pathetic betas standing on the side lines and waiting for your chance that might never come. Finding the love of your life can transform you forever, be willing to fight at least a little bit for it. Most other people here don‘t know what they are talking about. If she rejects you walk away proud. It’s morally wrong to be friends with a person you have feelings for, while that person has commited to a relationship. You can do it KING! If she ends up wanting to engage with you while not breaking up with her current man, walk away, you deserve better KING!
You’ve moonwalked yourself into the friend zone. RIP op
Dude the only thing she didn’t do is a hold up a sign saying “please ask me out on a date” 😂😂😂😂. Missed your chance on that one my friend. Live and learn…
Lols imagine how *she* felt. Throwing signs and you’re pure ignoring them.
Her signals seemed loud and clear, but do you know how you really feel? You do say “I MIGHT HAVE developed feelings for her.” That’s the first thing you need to figure out, and that’s on you, not her.
If you are seriously interested, you might tell her at work (when the timing is right) that her boyfriend is a lucky guy… you really envy him, etc. Her reaction should help you figure out what to do next. You don’t need to interfere with their relationship, but as you spend a lot of time with her now, when they break up, you could then be there and ready to tell her how you feel and see how it goes.
I won’t quote the old saying “Faint heart never won fair maiden,” but …oops, I just did.. anyhow, the first step is to get down from the fence and decide how you feel and what you want. **Good luck!**
been there. Sometimes, it is hard to tell if they like “like” you. For my case, it is the same like she called me cute, says “suki” and “daisuki” too a lot and I haven’t heard her say that to others so i thought it was a chance. Asked her out for a date and got rejected. Some outgoing girls are just fascinated with foreigners (cute as in you dont act like what normal japanese boy act like) and she found my kindness interesting, i guess. As for bf material, her answer was no for me. But no regrets, i asked and we are still friends.
EDIT: confessing by texting when she has a bf is also not good for her. Ask her personally to go out lunch or cafe together and if she accepts, you can go from there and see if she has feelings for you or not.
Highway to the Friend Zone
Women don’t usually saying things like that straightforwardly when they really like you, especially not most Japanese girls. You were probably right she was just being friendly. Your feelings now is like a kid who wants a lollipop just because another kid just took the last one at the counter. See if your feeling is still there when she’s single again.
Understand that feeling. It’s not responding on real time. Sad but true but letting out what you feel might be a relief. Just don’t sound desperate!
You found a girl who will actually make the first move. She probably thought you had no interest, and rightfully so. Don’t kick yourself any more, you learned from this. Next time, just ask her out if you feel there is something. You might fail, but it is better to try instead of only regret it later.
just tell her to meet up for a cup of tea and tell
her your feelings in person.
Is she in her early 40s ???
“should I just text her and telling her how I feel ”
don’t tell her how you feel straight away, ask her out first
Its hard enough to tell if a girl is flirting with you in your own language, its even harder if it’s a foreign language, especially Japanese. But “大好き” and asking for your insta is… pretty obvious lol. Friends don’t say that to each other. You missed your chance bro
She has a BF. The end.
What is the point of this post?
If you’re just venting then cool. Otherwise, there is an entire university filled with accessible women yet you choose to be disrespectful and get at a woman with a man. That’s the extent of your character? Think about that.
Is your name Ross? Because I swear I’ve seen this episode before.
Well that was a lesson in **worldwide common sense**, young buck!
Later, you have **Japanese common sense**.
From the looks of it, you’re too young, and too inexperienced for any of these.
Next time, be ready~!
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”Sad male noises”,
Well you see, in the human kingdom, a MAN gets the girl/woman.
A male is just an assigned sex. lol
Have some confidence!
This is beta nature, or simp as younger generations say. It’s even worse that your reflecting on it at all. Especially that you recognize she was just being friendly – if your intuition or natural need to mate was into her – you would have asked her out.
Due to the laws of nature she wasn’t for you and you actually don’t having feelings for her but you loathe solitude and the feeling of failure.
My advice is to take chances and risks next time. New (sexual) relationships have nothing to lose – so go out on a limb next time and trust your gut. Otherwise understand the process and find contentment in how it ended up. It’s a learning process, and your bound to make unfavorable plays until you fully understand it
You dodged a bullet.
Don’t shit where you eat!