i’m a dark skinned girl and i’ve had too many instances lately where i’m followed and cussed at by random middle aged men. i know it comes with the territory of being brown but it’s really starting to affect me mentally. i want to know how you are able to brush it off
edit: thank you guys so much for the advice. it’s relieved a lot of my anxiety knowing what i can do the next time it happens
21 comments
Honestly? By cussing back. I once even followed such dude and insistently asked what did he just say. He ended up apologising. Unfortunately many Japanese are racist and just ignoring makes them more confident. Peace is not always the answer.
But never, ever get physical.
Its unfortunate this happens. Japan has always been a anti-foreigner place. Most of the people are chill but there is still alot of mental people.
Don`t take it personally, just ignore. They are proper wackos, dealt with quite alot when i was working in service.
Speak sternly to them in fancy formal English. Sometimes they’re cowed by their own inability to respond.
And yeah record them. Bullies are pussies at the end of the day.
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I can’t speak from the perspective of a brown girl as I am white. Due to the fact that I have lots of tattoos, I do get harassed, or just unwanted attention, and when that happens I just cuss them out in my native language. A woman 1.) speaking up and 2.) speaking a language other than English/Japanese usually scares them off. It makes sense that it would affect you mentally, and I’m really sorry to hear that!!!
Really loud say. 何その話 ! ! Don’t hold back with the tone what so ever. Bring attention to them. Do it in your best angry mum yelling at a child voice.
Ignore their attempts to confront and insult you. If you react to insults it only bolsters the “power” they hold over you with it. Not reacting eliminates the sought after reaction and their endeavors are made fruitless. If it ever becomes physical you can always yelp out something in public and try to divert the attention to the offender.
Of course there’ll always be that drunk bastard later in the day.
I am not brown, but I still get a lot of shittalking and they think I don’t understand them.
Usually I let them go at it for a while, then give a genuinely curious look and ask “Do you really think that?” or “Is there something you want me to do based off of what you’re saying?” or “What are you hoping to achieve by saying that?” or similar in Japanese.
Most of the time they freeze – out of being scared I understood everything, and probably moreso at the fact that they can’t answer the question since there’s no answer that doesn’t make them look bad. And it scares them to admit their own racism, especially if others are around.
I will advice against heating up the argument. In case the guy gets physical, the police will ask if you did anything to escalate the situation and the odds will not be in your favor. I’m not dark skinned but there was a time a guy attempted to physically assault me and the police kept asking such victim blaming questions.
If they attack you, you’re allowed to hit back to protect yourself to some degree but make sure you don’t continue hitting them in a rage fueled state. That’s illegal.
My personal advice is against talking to them. Do not give these people any attention. They’re trying to get an emotional response from you, intentionally or unintentionally. Do not give them what they’re asking for.
If you’re followed, then record them or quickly go to the nearest Koban. Koban won’t help with the actual stalking, but the stalker dude will be scared and he will stop harassing you.
I’m sorry to hear that. Some of the middle aged guys can be insufferable.
Just don’t give a damn. I have seen lots of straight standing up when I sit beside them in the train and I don’t care. If see someone crossing the road to avoid me, I also cross the road to give him his own medicine. Chill. Only care about yourself. **and of course be careful
Your bf might as will swing around a gigantic sword.
FUCK. WITH. THEM. BACK.
Dudes are creepy AF. Make sure they regret talking to you.
I’m not brown either but still get cussed and shoved by middle aged men pretty much daily. Seems to be increasing lately.
I am supposed to be moving to Japan for work and this thread and many other/ are just making think I made a wrong decision. I am a brown girl too.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit!
I do not recommend ignoring them. It might destroy your self-esteem in the long run. Talk back, but without losing your temper and crossing boundaries.
Obviously, it doesn’t apply if there are no other people around or a guy looks dangerous. In such case your priority should be to stay safe.
These things exist anywhere around the world but might be in different variations. So just don’t give AF. Do meditations, do yogas. Grow mentally !
These weirdos are so brave when it’s a woman. Would never dare say something to a black man
>i know it comes with the territory of being brown
No, no, holy fuck, no it should not.
In Japanese culture, the best response here is to apologize (for whatever they’re complaining about…. your existence?) with a *tone of voice* that says “sorry NOT SORRY, fuck you”. This should shut down most of those assholes.
whatever happened to the adage of “Sticks & stones may break my bones bu words will never hurt me”? I”m a Boomer, piece of advice, those are words to live by.