Hey, I would like to know why a lot of Japanese people, mostly +40 male, keep staring at my gf and looking at her chest very insistently even if I’m next to her. Is this OK in Japanese society to look at girls this way ? Are we supposed to say nothing or is there something to do about that ?
Thanks for your comments
Edit: GF is foreigner too
21 comments
I’m sorry you and your gf are experiencing this.
Unfortunately, Japan is still stuck in the 1950s and many J-men treat women like sexual objects. Hopefully it will improve as time goes on.
My foreign female friend gets stared at a lot by these kind of men.
I don’t recommend it but she winks at them repeatedly and bites her lip. It absolute terrifies them,
Gross.
The kindest view of this is that your gf is an absolute babe and these dudes have zero self-awareness.
Next time it happens, hit them with a nice loud “おい! ふざけるな.” Roll the r hard for dramatic impact.
Staring almost feels like it is Japanese culture.
When I walk down the street alone I get people who stare at me all of the time or follow me places. It is genuinely kinda creepy.
Without knowing much about you, I can probably tell this is more than likely real, and I don’t think it is okay by any means.
Personally I would say just make a face, but nothing else past that because it would be seen as you making a fuss and a public disturbance versus them.
Have you never been outside before? Women (and girls) are lewdly stared at all the time, everywhere, in every country, by men of all status and relation. It’s not ‘okay’ but there are usually no laws against looking, and if there are laws, it’s for the women to cover up more to stop temping men.
Japanese people, especially older individuals, tend to stare at others, irrespective of age, gender, or race.
My wife’s uncle once asked me if I ever slept with a foreign woman and wanted me to describe the experience and whether I was able to walk afterwards… these old men have some crazy fantasies about foreign woman…
Anyways My advice maybe u can stand in front of her to block their vision
Is she showing any clevage?
Clevage is just normal in the states (my home country), but here in Japan it is far rarer in public save for like the night life.
Woman wear tight clothes but covered up for the most part.
I never really thought about it until my (now ex-) wife (Japanese) and sister-in-law (American) had a conversation about this.
Even if it is a normal amount t of clevage in your home country, basically any clevage will get stares. 😔
Stare them back, make it obvious you’ve noticed them. Usually these men know they can get away with it so make them feel uncomfortable in return and they’ll back down.
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Back when my husband and I were first dating we were walking around my little city when he confessed he didn’t like it there. Why? Because the locals were so *weird* and everyone was staring at him all the time. It’s not you they’re staring at, I said.
*sounds of gears turning*
*ding*
Oh, he said, gross. Is it always like that?
Yeah, pretty much.
A few years ago I was on the train home from work, standing with my back against the drivers cabin so I could see down the carriage. It wasn’t too busy at the time so there were plenty of seats and space.
At one station this gyaru gets on in the door next to me and sits down in the seat closest to the door. She was very attractive, wearing a low cut dress and was pretty well endowed. Nothing about this should be particularly noteworthy, only for the fact that at the next station this grubby middle aged dude who was sitting at the other end of the carriage launched out of his seat, ran out the door, down the station, into the door at our end and proceeded to stand directly in front of this girl despite the empty seats all around her and just stood there staring at her cleavage.
I was genuinely astounded by how blatant he was with it as well. No shame at all about making his lonely dash down the station to reposition himself in front of breasts.
I have this happening a lot. My favorite thing is to look back, look them up and down and look unimpressed, turn around again. Works like a charm.
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Have you ever watched “pirates of Caribbean”?
There’s a scene where the men get aroused because he saw a woman’s ankles, uncovered for the first time.
Now to Japan, woman hide a lot of skin here, doesn’t matter if it’s summer, they really are cautious with their skin.
Mind that and an antique way of seeing woman as an object, but let me make it clear, it’s definetly a generation difference, hence why you are telling us it’s most +40 Japanese men.
I say if it’s only stares, don’t worry about it so much.
But always be careful.
This week I was at the gym, there is the treadmill area, there was already a +40 man running when, a young cute japanese lady, got on the treadmill besides he’s, because that was the only one open.
Not many woman on this gym, so as you can guess, when the lady got on the treadmill, the man gave a few stares, both of them are japanese.
Take it as you will.
As a woman, returning eye contact or a disgusted/disapproving look up and down usually makes it stop for me lol
Some of them even intentionally bump girls’ shoulders. Japanese men can be unbelievable weird, be careful.
I honestly don’t think Japan is next level when it comes to staring. At least before the masks I have never seen them literally gawping at me with their mouths open which has happened to me (and probably lots and lots of other women) during travels to Italy and Latin America. At least the Japanese have the decency to look away when you stare back, in other countries I wouldn’t do that because they would see it as an invitation to strike up an (unwanted) conversation with me.
When you’re a foreigner in what’s generally a monoethnic society, and when you’re pretty, you WILL get the stares.
How does she look like? Does she look like a girl of non Japanese? If so, people not only older male tend to stare her because of rarity
tell you gf to avoid any clothes that reveal cleavage (a total no-no among normal japanese) – that may at least partly solve the issue