A long time ago when I first came to Japan, after some time i started to get annoyed at the random compliments about my chopstick and Japanese skills.
Just then one of my friends gave me a book by jack Seward which had the coaching to do the following:
Random person who heard me say one word: 日本語上手ですね
Reply: いいえ、たしなむ程度です。
And it worked perfectly! Because it’s humble but also let’s them know you actually speak decently well. And ends that line of questioning.
Now Japan has less of that than in the old days. But I still get told occasionally those ridiculous statements about speaking Japanese better than Japanese people which …it stops me in my tracks.
Anyway I have been playing with the word こざかしい。which means really like someone who is trying to be too polite and isn’t saying what they mean.
Am wondering what would happen if I pulled that vocabulary word out. I know if I ask a Japanese friend they will not understand why I would say that to a “compliment” but am tempted to try it and wondering how that would work and if I’m insane here.
12 comments
関西弁しか喋られへん is my usual response.
I’ve found being offended by/trying to set someone straight when someone is legitimately trying to compliment/encourage you is generally a sign of extremely low self esteem. But that’s just my experience.
Making a whole post pretending to be offended by compliments just to humble brag. Alright…lol
these tashinami or kozakashi words sound sissy as if someone compliment your english and your response is “i’m eloquent you little devil”. Definitely this will raise an eyebrow if you use them to not so close acquaintances.
Yeah if you live in big cities and there are japanese speaking foreigners everywhere what gives. My usual reaction is to just laugh to rub it off
>”But I still get told occasionally those ridiculous statements about speaking Japanese better than Japanese people which …it stops me in my tracks.”
I always respond with something like “Wow, no one’s ever told me that before!” Blatant lie, but it lets me acknowledge that they’re trying to compliment me without either of us having to reckon with the bald-faced absurdity of their statement, and then we can move on.
What is with these redditors and not being able to take a simple compliment.
This happens sometimes when people meet you for the first time, they don’t expect you to speak Japanese, because most foreigners who come here don’t bother. So they are expressing their surprise. That’s it.
Just say いえいえ、ありがとうございます and move on with your life.
Why do people feel the need to start acting all high and mighty. They are not literally saying you are good at Japanese.
One of two things is going on here
You get offended waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too easily, and are just a giant pain in the ass who needs to chill
or
You just wanted to brag that people compliment your Japanese
either way
ugh
lol your responses are pretentious dude.
You’re more likely to meet people who don’t even know what those words mean, or won’t expect a foreigner to use them so won’t catchw why you’re saying on first listen, so then they’ll be like “what?” And then you will need to think of what to say next, instead of an easy “あは、ありがとうございます、まだ勉強中です。”
Why is nobody able to say THANK YOU when said you’re at japanese ?
Really it’s just annoying. Learn to accept compliments. End of story
So far, I would say that this hasn’t died.
At any and all levels, I get complimented on my Japanese, and not in a good way mostly.
I have been working at a Japanese company for 2 years. I speak really good Japanese, but they don’t give me many chances to talk. So when I actually start talking and explaining things in full Japanese, it scares them.
In normal interactions (bars and parties), they normally go “日本語上手” and then I start pulling out my real vocabulary skills and then they go “あれ?? ペラペラじゃない??”, and it just keeps going like that.
I am entirely sure, I am can go outside right now, and in the span of 2-3 people, I can promise someone is going to say my Japanese is jyozu.
If it’s a work person I pretend I didn’t hear / switch subject. I think that is the culturally appropriate way to signal you didn’t like that while avoiding unnecessary conflict.
The rare cases it’s a shop clerk or similar, and I for some reason want to spend the energy, I switch to full keigo and thank them for taking the effort to appraise my language abilities, and tell them someone like me would never be worthy of such a high praise.
I don’t really interact with other types of people so I don’t have the experience about.
It’s really not meant to be taken literally; it’s more like a set phrase/small talk people use with foreigners so just say something like いえいえ、まだまだです and move onto another topic. No need to clapback or overthink it.
Even my 100% born and raised Japanese ex got 日本語上手’d a couple times when we shopped together thanks to effects of my powerful gaijin forcefield.