[Previous post part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/teachinginjapan/comments/15a76gp/adult_student_shouted_at_me_update/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
Thanks for all the support throughout this little dilemma. All of your comments and support actually taught me a valuable lesson in sticking up for myself.
So as promised he came for a “chat with the three of us” (me, my boss and him) but they just spoke fast Japanese so I couldn’t really be involved. As soon as she brought it up he was squirming and frothing at the mouth again. Speaking over her and raising his voice.
What he doesn’t know is I recorded the conversation last week and showed my boss. She could hear how calmly and professionally I handled it and how it actually went down. Furthermore I threatened to quit and she values me so she didn’t want me to go. So when he started saying that last week I was rude and making him feel uncomfortable she knew he was lying but couldn’t say why. She just said she trusted my word more – and that made him more angry. He started pacing up and down as he continuously interrupted her and breathing heavily.
She turned to me and said “can you slowly explain what you were trying to say in the last week that he couldn’t understand?”
Thankfully morons like this are incredibly predictable and easily irritated by calmness so I stayed chilled the whole time, and explained slowly and calmly “yeah I don’t think he understands – Sir as I mentioned before there has been a big misunderstanding on our behalf and we are sorry about that mix up, but we don’t tolerate shouting in the classroom and making employees or other students feel uncomfortable – last week I asked you to agree to not shout again and you wouldn’t so today, in order to move forward I will need an apology AND an agreement this won’t happen in the future.” He grunted and held his hand up at me to palm me off and then continued to talk to her in Japanese saying “the customer shouldn’t have to apologise this is ridiculous”
They had it out for a couple minutes longer and she asked me “can he apologise in a few weeks time?” I said “sure but you can teach the class as I won’t be going into the classroom without that apology” and then they talked some more then in the end he ended up walking out and shouting loudly spitting everywhere GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE 👋 and slammed the door.
Lastly. 15 mins later I was working on the laptop when my boss came in and said because he walked out of the last two lessons he didn’t get his moneys worth so wants it back. She wants to offer it to him by me doing the classes he wants anyway and then after that get him to apologise!!! I put my foot down and said absolutely not.
That’s it. I’m done dealing with this moron – knew some of you wanted to know how it ended. Thanks for the encouraging advice.
23 comments
Idk why some people are so difficult. Put your pride and lack of self respect aside and let the teacher teach! It sounds like this is a win for you and a major loss for the student. Was interesting as someone reading on Reddit but I hope this is the last of your bad experiences with the student
I hope it works out well for you in the end, this sounds so infuriating.
One point to raise though, before recording people make sure thats legal to do with or without informing them. The rules are different in different areas and countries so worth double checking in the future.
Is he fucking 5 years old?
Why is he so angry about something so trivial as English lessons in an optional school he chooses to go to?
I don’t understand.
hmm, i don’t personally feel like i’d need a verbal apology; but i would want an assurance of zero blowups as an ultimatum. glad it’s going your way, though.
Your boss doesn’t sound too intelligent either.
You tell him that you made time for his lesson, it’s his fault if he caused trouble so you couldn’t conduct the lesson. The money is gone. Accept it.
Also, why doesn’t your boss just tell him to leave?
You seem to be taking this from a perspective like people are gonna talk things through and apologize through the error of their ways. This just flat out is not gonna happen here, especially with this kind of student. While I agreed with your early post you will save yourself and your boss a headaches by no pushing the issue. Just make your decisions, explain your reasoning and let your student huff and puff on his own. Asking him to apologize for his behavior was always and only going to end this way. Too many melodramatic things culturally connected to saving face to expect an apology, especially for middled aged or older professional men.
I wonder what is more expensive – letting you go or bad worth of mouth from the customer.
It is quite disturbing that he is a medical professional. I wonder what his back story is.
Anyway, well done for eliminating a source of stress out of your life. As you get older, you realize that dealing with those kinds of people shouldn’t be a part of your life. Life is too short.
Thank you for sharing your story. This was an entertaining read.
Keep it up OP. Absolutely do not teach that asshole.
I don’t understand why your boss is putting up with this…… my boss at the Eikaiwa I work at would basically let this student go real fast they don’t put up with students like this at all!
Yeah, I figured it would go that way. He is the customer, and the customer is God.
You’re lucky your boss is supportive. Due to her support, standing up for yourself paid off.
An interesting case study in (lack of) conflict management. From what you’ve said, you’ve been more than reasonable, but assertive. Well done!
I need my tea… give me a second… I love my daily dose of gossip..
Just in case you needed to hear this you deserve better!
Well done! 👏 You stood up for yourself, you kept your job and he left, so you don’t have to put up with his pathetic behavior.
Also, wtf, your boss is such a doormat. Notice how she didn’t want to teach him though? See, she knows. She knows yet she wanted you to do that because it makes her money. Good for not accepting! This is what I was talking about.
Bonus: the entitled dinosaur “lost”, he is out and didn’t get to “be right”. Now he’ll be at home stewing and ruminating about how the young gaijin lady didn’t take his BS. Woohoo! I celebrate this with you! 😀
Get him fucking booted. Fuck, I can not stand people like that. I’m the one that has to walk out of the room in the situations you faced. Props to your indomitable patience.
You managed to get a good outcome out of this, but for future reference to others reading — recording without consent is illegal.
How fucking desperate is your company for money if they tolerate customers like this? This is beyond the pale. Good for you for sticking up for yourself.
Customer service here encourages man child like behavior. Although there are some who kick em out, the majority of bosses/managers at these schools will do everything to keep regularly paying students, regardless of the damage they cause to a school. Your boss is also definitely mad at you. Whenever she’s alone with the student she’s probably going on about how unreasonable you are.
I think I said it in part 1 but your better off looking for greener pastures. Then again, situations like this are so common in the industry it might be difficult to avoid.
And it’s funny how these dudes are so brave with female teachers. When I was working at eikaiwas I would only hear these stories of getting shouted at by students from women
Bravo! Good work standing up for yourself and punching back. And I see some people in here surprised that this guy was like this and a doctor, but as someone who is in medicine in japan, this checks out. Many of the teachers and docs in med school from older generations are just stuck up and always high on their own ego. Something about the prestige of the job really gets to the heads of snobs, even giving them some kind of god complex because they work in healthcare. In many cases, even where doctors are in the wrong, I’ve experienced them telling scrubs or nurses to go apologize on their behalf because they aren’t willing to bow their head to anyone they feel is lower then them. Basically, you shouldn’t expect this apology.. the guys is a crooked man child and hasn’t learn a shred of humility working with people. You on the other hand, handled it very well, recording is lawful here and the best way to make people eat their own lies. It would be a good idea to always keep this right in the back of your head while you are still improving your Japanese. Good luck!
I’ve taught at an English school for 2 years, at a training school for 2 more, and have been a private tutor for 3 years; I have never had issues like that with any student, and I just see that as a preventable escalation of a minor issue.
Give us an update later!