I’ve been in a codependent abusive relationship for almost 20 years. I think I’m done. I need to make a plan. I don’t have permanent residency, I have no money or support. How should I start making my plan? I don’t have kids.
If you want to stay in Japan, get pr now. If you’ve been here even half of those 20 years it shouldn’t be hard.
If you don’t want to stay here, just divorce.
But either way, go see a lawyer. They’ll be able to help you out, and might help you out financially depending on your situation
Can you separate? Any chance of recording his abuse or text messages?
Assuming the partner doesn’t consent to a divorce, you will need to get a court ordered one. Court ordered divorce requires going through mediation first then a trial.
You might not need a lawyer or evidence during mediation, but for the trial you might.
Really need more info for this one. What do you mean when you say you have no money? Does that mean no savings or does it mean no job?
If you have been here 20 years with no job and no kids, then PR is probably difficult. Mainly because going the spousal route for PR or the 10 year resident route for PR will in some way depend on the cooperation of your spouse.
Get a lawyer.
Leaving the advice to the others, but I hope you find greener pastures soon and that all is well after separation. It will be tough, but things will get better.
>I don’t have permanent residency
fix that tomorrow,
Please first see a marriage counsellor then lawyer. While doing so, collect evidence for abuse and get a Permanent residency.
As others have said get PR asap. If that fails you could consider citizenship if you really want to stay here.
You basically have no ties to Japan other than your marriage. But you also have 20 years of fulfilling household duties. No kids. but if you have as you say lived a peaceful life and maintained a stable marriage for a reasonable number of years, first 5 will do, with or without kids you’ll have automatically have become a foreigner of minimal interest and eligible for PR. What went wrong?
You can contact the embassy of your home country and tell them you’re escaping an abusive relationship. They’ll book a ticket for you and later send you bill to pay for it. That’s another route if you can’t stay in Japan. My friend did it
Are you paying your own debt or your husband is coercing you into paying his debt?
I would make a plan and calculate the time vs money it would take to escape the situation. If it could be more feasible to rid yourself of the debt and relationship by fleeing then that might by the best option. Depending on the circumstances once you’re out of the relationship it could be easier to establish yourself in your home country and then return later in life to Japan if you still want to.
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If you want to stay in Japan, get pr now. If you’ve been here even half of those 20 years it shouldn’t be hard.
If you don’t want to stay here, just divorce.
But either way, go see a lawyer. They’ll be able to help you out, and might help you out financially depending on your situation
Can you separate? Any chance of recording his abuse or text messages?
Assuming the partner doesn’t consent to a divorce, you will need to get a court ordered one. Court ordered divorce requires going through mediation first then a trial.
You might not need a lawyer or evidence during mediation, but for the trial you might.
Really need more info for this one. What do you mean when you say you have no money? Does that mean no savings or does it mean no job?
If you have been here 20 years with no job and no kids, then PR is probably difficult. Mainly because going the spousal route for PR or the 10 year resident route for PR will in some way depend on the cooperation of your spouse.
Get a lawyer.
Leaving the advice to the others, but I hope you find greener pastures soon and that all is well after separation. It will be tough, but things will get better.
>I don’t have permanent residency
fix that tomorrow,
Please first see a marriage counsellor then lawyer. While doing so, collect evidence for abuse and get a Permanent residency.
As others have said get PR asap. If that fails you could consider citizenship if you really want to stay here.
You basically have no ties to Japan other than your marriage. But you also have 20 years of fulfilling household duties. No kids. but if you have as you say lived a peaceful life and maintained a stable marriage for a reasonable number of years, first 5 will do, with or without kids you’ll have automatically have become a foreigner of minimal interest and eligible for PR. What went wrong?
You can contact the embassy of your home country and tell them you’re escaping an abusive relationship. They’ll book a ticket for you and later send you bill to pay for it. That’s another route if you can’t stay in Japan. My friend did it
Are you paying your own debt or your husband is coercing you into paying his debt?
I would make a plan and calculate the time vs money it would take to escape the situation. If it could be more feasible to rid yourself of the debt and relationship by fleeing then that might by the best option. Depending on the circumstances once you’re out of the relationship it could be easier to establish yourself in your home country and then return later in life to Japan if you still want to.
Get a lawyer asap.