Hi!
I am meeting my Japanese boyfriend’s parents in a couple of days and I was wondering what I should say. I think speaking in Japanese would be great as I am trying to learn the language and I think they would appreciate the effort.
The problem is, I know all the basics of introductions, hajimemashite, etc. But I have technically “met” them before. We have video called a few times, but this will be our first time meeting in-person… I learned that hajimemashite technically means “Nice to meet you/first time meeting” so I don’t know if I should say that…
They already know my name, so I don’t think going with the usual route of “Hello, my name is, nice to meet you, yoroshikuonegaishimasu” works?
Sorry for this question TT I am really socially awkward and can barely introduce myself in English, but now I have this unique situation of already knowing his parents but not really… Please educate me on the etiquette of meeting someone’s parents for the first time in-person (that I have already met online)…. I don’t want to come off as rude!
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EDIT: I am staying over at theirs for a few weeks as well… If there is anything else I can add to my introduction such as thank you for the hospitality?
6 comments
Do it by the book. Seriously. Don’t overthink it.
Hajimemashite. [name] desu.
Yoroshiku onegai itashimasu (or shimasu, depending on which you are more comfortable with).
Don’t get caught up on “technically means”. This is how they do it and if you want to make the best impression, just do this.
They will be fucking delighted, I promise you. They are going to have to speak English mostly right? So like spiders, they will be much more scared of you.
Probably say hello or something like that
S/
Ooof, I have no experience in *that* field whatsoever, but my gut feeling approves of you trying your best at speaking as much japanese as possible. You will for sure get some Gaijin-leeway for mistakes, so I’d go with formal but not too formal/Keigo language. So for example rather use “<name>です” instead of “<name>だ” (obviously) or “<name>と申します (ともうします)” . Also: Just ask your boyfriend beforehand what to say honestly! He knows his parents personally, and you two are a team. He will know best what his parents like/expect and its in his interest that you make the best good impression you can.
I think it’s better to ask your boyfriend instead of Reddit. But yeah, you can say 初めまして and introduce yourself by name. And say よろしくお願いします.
This reminds me of how I was with my girlfriend for 2.5 years during covid and couldn’t go back to Japan to meet her family but instead of ‘meeting’ online when she video called. I just pretended I wasn’t there and didn’t say anything. So I didn’t even have a weird half online ‘introduction.’ And it went for so long that I couldn’t just jump in after a year because that would be even weirder. Why hadn’t I wanted to talk to them before? Lol. So I had to just wait for the proper in person meeting
But. It was fine. I met them. They’re lovely. I bowed and hugged and mumbled some pretend Japanese under my breath. They’d heard good things (thanks to my GF) so I had nothing to worry about. Then her father who doesn’t drink beer kept pulling random beers of the shelf at the supermarket and giving them to me to buy. We bonded without words.
Just add 改めまして (あらためまして) before your introduction. The nuance is “once again”, “doing something properly the 2nd time” (as a formality, or if you got interrupted, other circumstances etc).
改めまして、初めまして。〇〇です。これからもよろしくお願いします。
Or if you want to be more polite and wordy, you can add this before the sentence above:
以前ビデオ通話でお会いしましたが、今回実際にお会いできて嬉しいです。
For further reading: [JP site explanation of the phrase](https://tap-biz.jp/business/business-terms/1026740#num_2740025)
You’ll hear this a lot, along with 改めて. Hope the meeting goes well! 😄