\- Side account and vague details to avoid identifications if this turns out to be nothing-
Context: We are both Japan foreign residents. I’m on family visa, they are on a work visa. They suffer from mental health issues (under treatment). We are very close and communicate often.
Yesterday, they left for work as usual but just a few hours later they stopped replying to my texts. I noticed that the only SMS account they had was deactivated. A few hours after they should have returned from work I called and they told me they didn’t show up that day.
They didn’t take any unusual stuff that you wouldn’t take to work, but I don’t have access to their bank accounts so I don’t know about that.
Tried contacting family overseas but they don’t know anything either.
Today after having no news all night I contacted the police and they told me (my japanese kind of sucks) that they couldn’t do anything because they are adults and there are no signs of violence or something like that.
What can I do?
Edit: A japanese neighbour is helping me, we called a few hospitals around the area we live and the workplace and nothing. We are going to the main police station again to ask again.
But I cannot find their passport so it may just be that I was abandoned.
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Edit 2: Neighbour dropped me off at the police station and left, the police refused me to take the missing persons report and insisted he just left me. I just cried but they just took some notes and told me to contact them back tomorrow (or that they will contact me back)
I will call the embassy when they open but other people from my country told me that they are not very helpful either.
I’m still going through his stuff and everything seems to be here except for the daily stuff to work. I still haven’t found the passport but I don’t know where he kept it in the first place?
His computer is locked I don’t know the password.
30 comments
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Sorry for that, what you have to do is to go to a big station and be a bit aggressive and demanding; also contact your embassy as well and start a social media campaign to spread the word
How many messages do you usually send when they leave for work? Are they allowed to send and receive messages during business hours?
To get it right, there is one person missing or several?
Try police stations on the way where they could have disappeared, since they are foreign residents it might be an option since that happened several times where someone was arrested and the family was looking for that person
Check local hospitals and police stations, is my advice.
Honestly if you are comfortable, I would give the full details to get the word out.
It’s better that you give the details out and it turns out to be nothing, rather than you didn’t share the details and it turns out to be something that could have been helped or avoided.
If you share the details and it turns out to be nothing, the internet will forget about the incident within 10 minutes and go on with their lives.
In my experience when this kind of thing happens the person most likely was arrested and is being held.
By SMS do you mean SNS? If they deactivated their SNS account, it sounds like they might be looking to get away from things for a bit (possibly staying with a friend?), especially if they have been known to be suffering recently.
Is it your spouse or a blood relative?
How long is the commute from home to work?
A little confused cause they didn’t show up for work but was still replying to your texts for a few more hours?
It sounds like they don’t want to be in contact with you, which unfortunately there’s not much you can do about
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It might be the case that the police think the family member does not want to be harassed by you. It used to be a massive problem in Japan, and you can also see this in many ethnic minority communities in the West (usually Chinese and or Indian) where the parents continuously harass their children or other family members. You need to be able to prove to the police that the family member went missing involuntarily.
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If you have been living together, you should be able to file a 行方不明者届 (Missing Persons Report). The employer can also do that. Best to keep in touch with the employer anyway, as the missing person may contact them.
If, as OP says, they have mental health issues (p.s. keep in touch with their usual doctor if they are under medication), and there’s the possibility of them harming themselves or others, they can be deemed a 特異行方不明者 (Peculiar Missing Person), which would force the police to “promptly investigate”, so if you talk to the police again, you should mention that. Best talk to your Japanese neighbor and look up the procedure, as the police will likely be reluctant to move otherwise.
This sounds like a woman running away from an abuse situation. Is OP male or female? Why intentionally hide the info? Even if this person is LGBTQ, the info would help to track them down. Is there a particular reason this person would be depressed and not want op to know where they are?
If you try to file a missing person report in Japan and the police tell you no, that means the person in question is in police custody. That would be your first step.
No offense but the lack of detail here is making me more than a little suspicious. It could very well be someone trying to escape a situation they no longer want to be in.
Very odd to me that familial relationships and living arrangements are not specified….
Did you have an argument before they left for work, or the day before? Do you normally text and expect replies when they are at work?
Go to a primary station, file paperwork officially, go with someone who speaks Japanese, take down all names, be AGGRESSIVE AS NEEDED. Police here, like many places, are lazy, racist pieces of shit. You will have to push to get them to do even the most basic shit, and as a foreigner, it’s even worse.
Unfortunately it’s a difficult situation. There’s a lot of possibilities and a lot of questions because you are leaving it vague. When you say family visa, does that mean you are their dependent? Are you reliant on them to pay bills? If any of these is yes then continue pursuing them. I would continuing contacting family, friends and their place of work (although maybe only call the work place once a week). Someone mentioned filing a missing person report, so I agree with that. You might also try checking with their home country embassy to see if they can help. Maybe it would be good to have someone fluent in Japanese to talk with the police, but it might be difficult for them to take action in this situation.
On the other side, if your relationship has been difficult lately it’s possible they wanted to escape. I would still reach out to family and friends, but let them know you still haven’t heard from them and you don’t need to know where they are, but just that they are safe. Please understand we don’t know you or your situation, so we don’t know if this person wants to be found. The important thing is to know they are safe, even if they chose to leave.
On the other side I know how scary this must feel, especially if they are dealing with mental illness. I hope they are safe and you hear from them soon.
This exact situation happened to a friend of mine, except she’s foreign and her husband’s Japanese. The police searched the neighborhood for her. They didn’t find him but said they’d keep an eye out. He ended up coming back a few days later. It was a mental health crisis brought on by money issues. He’d considered taking is own life but decided against it and slept in the mountains near their home
You mentioned in a comment that this is your husband, so I will refer to him as this below.
Since you are his dependent (in particular that your status of residence depends on his) and his passport is missing, you can push the police to check with immigration. They will be able to report whether he has left the country and whether he used a re-entry permit. It should not be necessary, but if you have a copy of his zairyu card (or know the number) it may help speed things up. This leads to another thing to try.
As his wife, you should be able to get a copy of your husband’s juminhyo from your city office with no problem. You can tick the boxes on the form to include country of origin, immigration status, zairyu card number and anything else that may be useful on the certificate. It is not a given that any recent changes would be updated immediately, but if he submitted a notification to move out for example, it is possible that it may be revealed.
I hope you can confirm that your husband is safe and find the answers that you need quickly.
Sounds like a Johatsu case. Japanese won’t open a missing persons case unless they are involved in some kind of crime.
There are a lot of “missing persons” here, including family members. Nobody in positions of authority cares unless there is evidence of a crime or other exceptional condition. They simply don’t have the resources for dealing with mental issues, domestic issues and personal disputes. They will respond with a look and attitude like, “…and…you want me to do what?” They are not going to lift a finger to look for someone who is intentionally trying to avoid contact with others; the social norms, laws and roles of authorities are not setup to handle this. I’m not even sure if they would do something if he left a suicide note or other threat to do something violent.
How stable was/is your relationship?
Anecdotal brand perhaps completely unfair to being up, but a woman I used to work with in Japan fled from her bf (they lived together, both foreign residents) after their relationship turned very sour and he started showing signs of being abusive.
She was only staying in Japan for his benefit, so she just up and left. We all supported the decision.
That’s sad I hope you find em
I am so very sorry to hear this. I hope he will contact you very soon.
Before I came here, I studied about the country a LOT. Social problems, social norms, what being alone as a foreigner is like, and what I had to do to survive. The only thing I wasn’t fully prepared for was my low pay, but that was because I was being told that I would make more than I thought I was… and now with budgeting and thinking differently, I am okay. THAT SAID, this is just me saying that people need to prepare and realize what the country is like before coming here. I can’t stand hearing people coming over to live with thoughts of a “magical Japan”. This country has problems like any other country and it’s really hard when you don’t know the language and realize that it can be lonely at times. It’s been mentioned a lot in this thread, and I am glad to hear there are people who try to dissuade this type of thinking.
I am hoping your family member didn’t become disillusioned and ghost you, I also hope you are alright, as well as him. Keep believing and fighting for the truth. I hope for the best!
When you call your Embassy make sure they call the police asking if he was arrested. Sometimes when foreigners are arrested the only way to find out is through the Embassy because the police is forced to ask if the person wants the Embassy involved.
Well OP the answer is fairly obvious.
Did they have a reason to leave you ? Did you fight or some issues ? If yes, then he’s pribably gone.
If no, then he’s missing.
This situation sounds urgent and I wish you’ll get informations as soon as possible.
Do they have an Iphone or a smartphone that could geolocate them ? If possible, you or your family aboard should try to connect to their ICloud account (or any other ways) and try to track their moves through their phone.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully your husband returns. Maybe they needed some time away to clear their mind.