Kind of just venting/wondering if anyone else had to deal with this. I live in an apartment building and we chose it for the location and the discount they gave to families with young children.
I’ve been here for two years. The first year and a half, every other week we would get letters in the door’s mailbox complaining about my kids being too noisy (1yo and 4yo). Multiple visits from the building management coming into the house looking around and giving us shit for the kids being loud.
Lately after being very clear to management that we’re doing everything we can but fighting with my kids every day having to say 1000 times a day, don’t run, don’t jump, don’t yell etc etc it’s just impossible.
The neighbors complaints have stopped, and since they’ve stopped, we’ve now been visited 3 times by the city’s child protection services who got “an anonymous tip”. My neighbor above me has been stomping his floor like crazy every time my baby does the smallest noise.
Let’s be clear, we don’t fight, we’re a happy family my kids are very well cared for and they’re only issue is they like to play together and they get loud….
My wife (japanese) says to ignore it since we’re not doing anything wrong and they’re just being annoying. But I’m Canadian and in Canada these kind of complaints can lead to a bunch of trouble I wouldn’t want to deal with.
Besides moving (we want to but school tranfers and funds are tough atm), what else can I do to have them leave us alone?
Tldr: Neighbor constantly using different services to file complaints against us(kids);
37 comments
>My wife (japanese) says to ignore it since we’re not doing anything wrong and they’re just being annoying. But I’m Canadian and in Canada these kind of complaints can lead to a bunch of trouble I wouldn’t want to deal with.
Well, she’s right. This isn’t Canada.
Remember when people complain about noisy neighbors and nothing happens? Exactly. The management company is doing their due diligence, they obviously see nothing wrong or else you’d be in trouble. Same for any authorities.
Your wife is right. Nothing you can do. If you retaliate like filing complaints back, it might feel satisfying in the short term, but it’s just going to escalate things and your life will be worse in the long run.
Buy a house ASAP.
Let them file complaints, it’s not your problem.
Let them complain. They need to get over it. People who complain about kids a jerks.
I’m not sure this is the best solution as it definitely escalates rather than deescalates, but if it’s always one neighbour complaining and calling different services I’d go to the police station (not koban) and start talking to them about harassment.
Doesn’t sound like your wife is keen on that, mine wouldn’t be either, but in my mind their is a big difference about noise complaints to building management and falsely accusing you of harming your kids to local government.
As we know, they usually do their due diligence, so send some cops his way.
Again, this could escalate, but if some cranky old fucker did that to me, repeatedly, I’d go nuclear.
Probably worth investing in cushion mats if they complain about floor noise
Hate people like this. Sorry for what you’re going through OP. See if you can get them back at their own game without going tit-for-tat.
I had a neighbor constantly complain until one time she said I kept her up all night. I was actually out of town though so I went down, showed her the hotel receipt and said it sounds like you are aware of a crime where somebody must have broken into my apartment. She tried to backtrack but I insisted that it’s a security issue for myself and the building. We must go to the management company and police immediately. She got scared that she was finally caught in her lies and I never heard from her again.
Hey, I’m in an almost identical predicament to you. I’ve been living in my building for almost 4 years now, and about two months ago, two new neighbours moved in to my building, one to each side of me – and in the short span of those 2 months, we received not one, but two letters informing us that our neighbours are complaining about noises made by babies. I have a 1 year old, and the other family 2 doors down have two, one of whom is a similar age to my child.
The first letter came about a month ago, and the second one less than 2 weeks later. I’m pretty sure it’s the other family because half the complaints mentioned are things that I personally have seen them do – yelling and screaming in the corridors when coming back late at night (I’m talking 11pm ~ 1am late), screaming all the way from the carpark to the apartment, and stuff like that.
But that doesn’t change the fact that we have a little one of our own and my wife is scared to death of being physically assaulted on her way out despite the complaints most likely not targeted at us. Good luck with dealing with those pricks!
I don’t understand Japanese renting cheap apartments with paper walls and expecting silence? For me I’d treat it like I were in a shared house and it’s just noise from other members.
My wife and I moved twice because of it bothering her. We now rent a house with no other houses within 100 meters. Yes it’s a 20 min walk to a bus stop. But it’s worth it not having to worry about it.
I would look into either a) filing for harassment, play the gaijin card and say thats why they are targeting you (and it likely is sadly). I’ve had to do this regarding trash disposal and eventually got the city involved with the threat of getting a lawyer involved.
b) if the neighbor is elderly, there’s the possibility its the beginning of dementia and they are hearing things. This happened in the apartment block across from my house. The neighbor complained about noise only to find no-one was in the apartment next door (vacation).
File a noise complaint about them stomping on the floor.
Also, baffle them by stapling a slice of pizza to a pizza flyer and posting it in their letterbox.
Since you’re saying your kids get loud, that must mean they are really loud. I’m sure you’re used to the noise.
Its not your fault. A 1 and 4 year old will be like that. That said, it sucks for your neighbors too. Just a crap situation all around without a great solution. You’d be best off getting into a house or fairly secluded apartment when you can afford it.
If they are stomping on the floor why don’t you call the management and police to complain?
Couldn’t help you here, but this is one reason why I decided to move to house and not willing to live in apartment.
You’re wife is right, listen to her. Just ignore it, nothing can be done. If you look at topics on this subreddit by people wondering what they can do with noisy neighbors you will see that the general consensus is that nothing can be done other than management giving a warning.
The way the system works is on your side here it would seem.
We mostly confine our 2 yo to a pair of tatami rooms with rugs/fitted floor pads on top of them. I can hardly hear his footsteps when I’m in the other room.
Being on the opposite side, I can tell you nothing will happen. Neither management company nor police do jack shit about our legit noisy asshole of a neighbour no matter the proof, or if they hear it themselves.
So they will do even less about regular noise like in your case.
Same for child protective services. Coworker’s kid actually was molested by his ex-wife’s new dude. They did fuck all and just laughed it off when reporting it.
This is one of the few cases where Japanese passiveness/uselessness actually benefits you.
That sounds bloody horrible.
I’m from Québec and have lived in Newfoundland on and off. This is the kind of shit that landlords / property management would absolutely be on your side for, but we’re in Japan now… You have my sympathy for what it’s worth.
Do you want to, like, anonymously go intimidate your neighbour for ya?
Ignore it is what we can do
Moving will be the best option
If they over the line just video it and call police
Jeez get your kids under control!! Haha I’m just kidding, how old Is your neighbor? I have you tried making nonsense complaints about them as well?
Get creative fight fire with fire
We got the padded mats for the play area for the kids and it helps reduce the noise. The ones at Costco are thick and not a bad price.
I calmly destroyed a guy who was yelling at my kids outside a house for playing.
I told him, “*you* are why Japan is suffering with a declining birth rate. *You* are the problem and why we can’t save this wonderful place. People like you, who grew up with more places to play and be outside. 2 or 3 generations later the you adults remember how awful their childhood was because of *you*. It is why 20-30 somethings are trapping themselves in their rooms. Children should be celebrated because without them, nobody will remember you. And you deserve it.”
Here we go again. Bullies bully and the bullied ones try to be civilised by doing nothing, encouraging bullies further.
Please, please, don’t sit down and endure. Go to their door and talk in a very strict tone to them directly, don’t try to be calm and nice. It’s okay. Please drown them in complaints. Let them eat own medicine. Kids are kids and they can’t sit down silently all the time. It’s not a crime to run around as a kid.
And yes, feel free to downvote but I hate this loser mentality of Reddit gaijins who always call for helplessness. Japan won’t stop being your fairy wonderland if you stand for yourself.
Thanks.
My neighbour below me is like that. I have a baby and I’ve done all the things you do to stop unnecessary noise with door pada, padding on the floor, hide away things that could be noisy, but after that there’s nothing you can do, because kids are kids.
Once my son dropped a few things on the floor by accident, and then immediately there was banging from below. This banging happened a few times over the afternoon, and I had enough because my elderly neighbour above me is constantly dropping stuff and I’d never complain about it as it’s not that bad…
I ended up going downstairs and the mum answered the door. I said sorry for the noises, I’m doing my best to stop it, but as I have a baby there won’t be complete silence. She lied and said she didn’t bang the ceiling, it could be another neighbour? I said okay and left.
I’m pretty sure that was bullshit, but I’ve not had any banging from them since that time.
Can you believe how many people are just ready to accept this as the status quo and “theres nothing you can do”?
It’s totally unacceptable to have to live with harassment like this, especially given the situation you’ve described.
You could do one of several things. You could turn the tables on them by putting a note under *their* door saying “some asshole keeps stomping the walls when our baby is trying to eat, if that’s you, please stop”. Or you could visit them just to see what happens – maybe the horror of simply being faced with a gaijin will make it stop. Key in both these situations is that Japanese people love acting out when they can do so ‘anonymously’, so you’re taking that away from them with these methods.
Or more ideally, you really should instead just visit management and police and describe it all. Or perhaps community law.
Some people are saying that you shouldn’t escalate – well, there’s also a chance this person will escalate on their own. But I doubt it – I bet they feel very powerful by calling home inspections on you.
You absolutely should not stand for this.
Japan: we need to fix our declining birthrate
Also Japan:
Welcome to Japan. Listen to your wife.
That’s a sucky situation, I’m sorry people can’t be understanding of children.
My old boss installed puzzle-like foam floor cover(s) that I’ve seen at home improvement stores and she says they help with the running noise.
Let your wife be the judge of things. If she doesn’t think your kids are too noisy, then they aren’t being too noisy. If you are living in a building that encourages young families to move in, well, your weirdo neighbors can suck it.
I hate to be that person, but both parties aren’t wrong here.
I get you can control your kids all the time, I have kids too, I get it.
At the same time, if I’m your neighbour I’m probably annoyed at all noise regardless if you’re trying or not.
Best solution is to ignore it until you can move
Think of it this way – what a sad, lonely and pathetic life the neighbor must have.
Yeah. We experienced the same. Moved to a quiet neighborhood in Meguro-ku. Thought it would be brilliant for our newborn. As soon as he cried on a weekend, the neighbor upstairs would scream out the window うるせー！We got anonymous letters in our mailbox telling us to keep the child quiet or they’d call child protective services, and of course to move back to the US. I have never before experienced such anger or hatred to children as I did from those neighbors.
I was beyond relieved when another family moved in with a noisy toddler.
Edit: a word
Time to get one of these OP
[https://ceilingvibrator.com/](https://ceilingvibrator.com/)
> discount to families with young children.
> 🙂
> children being children
> 🙁
I’m sorry your family is going through this OP. I gave birth 3 weeks ago. Newborn crying is very normal, or so I thought. Police came to our place at 11:30pm saying someone called them because they heard a child crying and it sounded like the child is being hurt or neglected. Maybe because I just gave birth and my hormones and emotions are all over the place I felt so mad and shock at the same time. After the police checked my 3 week old baby I couldn’t stop crying. I asked them what time did they say they heard the crying and the police said around 11pm. It’s a good thing we have a baby monitor and I had proof that our baby is already sleeping at 10pm.
I understand how stressful it is to you and your kids to be constantly telling and being told to not do this and that even though they are just being kids. If the neighbor above you would keep on stomping like that then maybe you should be the one making the complaint. You can also make arrangement with the management to be the middle man so you can talk directly to your neighbor that keeps on making complaints. Don’t confront them on your own, they might just make up shit and cause more trouble for you.
I hope things get better soon for your family. 頑張れパパ！
Unfortunately it’s happening a lot. I live in building where each apartment have kids so none is complaining but my Japanese friend mom told me in previous apartment where she lived had same problems. That’s why she choose always first floor apartments to avoid complaining neighbors
Sorry you have to deal with this.
It annoys me so much. If kids are that much of a problem then why live in a fucking apartment building where anyone can move in? Buy your own house, live in a field miles away from kids, find a no-kids property, anything, just don’ make a perfectly nice family’s life a hassle.
Bitter assholes.