TL;DR ex has been storing a bunch of stuff at my house for almost a year and is being wishy washy about when he’ll come pick it up. Am I legally okay to just donate it all?
About a year ago I broke up with my ex. The timing was kind of shitty – he had just left his job and was going to move in with me for a little bit before finding a new one and moving on. He quit his job and right before he was set to move in I had a eureka moment and knew we had to end our relationship. It had been in trouble for quite some time and I wanted to end it ASAP instead of dragging it out and having us live together in that situation. I live in a pretty big house with way more space than I need, and I didn’t want to be cruel and make the situation any worse for him, so I told him he could store his things in a spare room of mine until he could get back on his feet. He went to go live with his sister in a nearby prefecture (he is also a foreigner so he doesn’t really have the option of taking his stuff to his parents house). As far as I know he has been able to get a job, I’m not sure about his housing situation. But he has not been back for his things despite me sending occasional messages about it. I messaged him last June and he said he was “very busy” but that he would get in touch about getting his things at some point. A message I sent two weeks ago didn’t get any reply until last night when I told him I would be donating his things soon if he didn’t come by – he just told me he would “contact me later”. So while I’m waiting for that, just to get ahead on things – if it comes down to it, could I get in any sort of trouble for giving his things away to a recycle shop? Thanks!
17 comments
I don’t know what’s legal or what’s not,
I’d just put all his stuff in a box outside my door and say he has 24 hours to pick it up or it’s going to be donated or trashed.
He could have gotten it if he wanted to is how I see it.
Send a message like this.
“Please tell me a time before the end of this month when you can come and pickup your items. If I do not hear from you or you do not pick up your stuff by the end of the month, I will dispose of it all.”
I would just give him a month and be like after that date, I’m going to donate or give away all things not picked up. Write it in Japanese and English. Screenshot it. Done.
Sure doesn’t sound like anyone I’d wanna date. No accountability. Good riddance.
Keep screenshots and records of the times you have attempted to return the items to him. Give him a final ultimatum as someone else wrote (/goochtek did a nice one).
Then dispose of the goods once the date is passed. If items require special costs to dispose make sure you mention this in the final email as well. And keep the receipts.
You are not charging the person for storage, they have not claimed the goods despite repeated attempts by you for them to do so, I think you are in the clear. Even JR doesn’t hold onto lost goods this long.
Is it very valuable? Worst case you’d only be responsible for it’s fair market value if you mistakenly disposed it thinking it was abandoned.
You have way more room than you need but you need it out asap. Very nice of you.
Yes , I’m also in the same boat. Holding stuff for a friend for almost 10 years now. He’s had lots of bad in his life. It doesn’t really make a difference holding a few boxes.
Can’t wait for the downvotes !
AFAIK he could sue for losses. My friend had a bunch of Jordans at his exes house which she threw away and he took her to civil court and won.
I don’t have any experience in the matter however.
“It has been a year since you left your things here, and I am not a storage facility.
You have until August 31 to pick up or move your things. Anything still here on September 1st will be thrown away.”
Trash it. Sodai gomi or whatever.
If he really wanted his stuff, it would be gone already.
Legally, I would assume that his shits being at your place, there is no stealing or anything.
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Just send him a heads up like ” OK, I am gonna trash your stuff this weekend”.
Mercari Stonks
If you live at a mansion (and he knows where it is I assume), just talk to the caretaker and let him know you will be placing a bag of things at the front entrance for an afternoon/evening.
Tell that guy to pick it up specifically then else the caretaker is gonna throw it away.
This will put urgency on him and you didn’t actually dispose of it yourself.
Just send all his stuff to his sister’s house with a note.
If he refuses to receive, tell the takyubin to dispose it.
Smart choice indeed, imagine the trouble if you committed to having him live with you. You are not obligated to keep his possessions, but seek legal advice just in case, Japanese law is a fickle beast.
Your ex cannot start a lawsuit against you claiming theft, destruction, intentional disposal, donation etc, if he cannot prove it with evidence and the value of each item. I don’t think he has kept all the receipts of everything he left there, and that he has not taken any pictures and videos like a maniac. Also, most likely he doesn’t understand Japanese law, does he?
Just my 2 cents here.
What is your official status? Does ‘ex’ mean ”ex-husband” here? I hope he is simply a ”normal” person who won’t take any resentment toward you after the relationship has ended…
I will answer your question assuming you are referring to your ”ex-husband” here and from a legal point of view.
You may try what other Redditors have suggested here at your own risk. However, only you know about your ex’s personality. Depending on who he really is, I don’t recommend disposing of his items for the time being.
In a scenario where you have legally finalized your divorce, the act of arbitrarily disposing of personal belongings owned by your ex-husband may potentially lead to civil liability for damages under the classification of a “tortious act.” Additionally, depending on the circumstances, there is a possibility of you facing criminal charges such as vandalism, theft, or misappropriation etc.
So, I advise against disposing of his belongings right after sending him a notice as suggested by another Redditor. The statement, ”Please let me know a time before the end of this month when you can come and pick up your items. If I do not hear from you or you do not pick up your belongings by the end of the month, I will dispose of them,” doesn’t align with the legal process in Japan. If he has any intention to take legal action, he can assert his rights by hiring a lawyer.
This is an interesting case. There are so many ways to answer to your question…Your ex used to live with you. Was his address officially registered there?
If so, if you dispose of his belongings, you may be liable for damages claimed by your ex. The best way I thought here is to obtain a written consent from your ex. If he doesn’t collaborate, then, you would legally need to go to the court and wait for their judgment to proceed with the disposal.
I’ve studied such cases before. If he has officially changed his address, his belongings will be considered illegal. He shouldn’t leave there anymore. But because it is ‘’illegal’’, it doesn’t mean that you can dispose them anytime as you wish, because this constitutes another illegal action.
You will bear the responsibility to compensate for ‘’damages’’ caused by the disposal of his belongings under the tort act (article 709 of the Civil Code, if I recall correctly).
Even if you have requested him multiple times to remove his belongings and have informed them about potential disposal, disposing of those belongings without proper authorization or consent would be considered a violation of his ownership rights. This would lead to legal consequences in Japan, potentially making you liable for compensating him for any ‘’damages’’ if he wants to give you headache.
Of course, I’m answering from my lenses, because I’ve seen some extreme cases where the exes were very uncooperative, manipulative…I hope he doesn’t fall into the same category. If not, then, proceed with caution and good luck!