Giving presents to my son’s teachers

11 comments

1. Because it’s a public school, it’s not a good idea to give gifts as it could look like you are trying to influence the teacher to give your child favorable grade or attention.

   We did it once for my son’s public kinder teacher but it was a beyond exceptional situation(way, way beyond an international trip) and it was a gift for all the teachers at the public kinder, not just his teacher plus there is no grading in kinder. It was still borderline but again super exceptional situation.

2. I used to work in a private school. Parents would sometimes bring something for the entire teaching staff and it was fine. I’m not sure about individual presents.

3. If you bring something it’s gonna be put in the teachers room. Don’t worry about it. If they have a problem with it they will say it.

4. When I worked at public schools we often got gifts from students’ parents. Usually it was gifts for all the teachers (and usually vegetables), but when I left the school, one student’s parent did give me a gift (via the student, given at school). I could see this being something that differs depending on the school. A particular school might frown upon it, but I wouldn’t say it’s a universal thing

5. We give gifts quite often to the public preschools. BUT it’s not just for our kids teachers it’s for all the teachers. Small way to say thanks for their hard work. Normally big bags of chocolates or something like that we pick up from Costco. They’ve always been accepted and thanked us for them

6. When I was an ALT, parents (grandparents?) would some times bring food snacks / fresh veggies for the entire staff room to share, which was allowed

   But a student tried giving her home room teacher an individual present (it was a pretty doll from student’s home country), the teacher had me help explain to the student that the teacher wasn’t allowed to accept gifts from students like that

7. Something for everybody to be put in the teachers room, yeah.

   Otherwise it’s case by case.

8. My workplace made a total ban on all gifts/omiyage. People still do it, selectively and quietly. Teachers? Maybe not to individual ones, as others have noted. But policies and personal proclivities are all over the place.

   I once tried to buy a bunch of shit for nurses at a hospital where they took care of me. They were adamant that they could not except anything. I ended up writing my main doctor, thanking him; my secondary doctor, thanking her. I also wrote down the names of all of the nurses in the letters and told the docs how they were also great. When I went back for check-ups the docs and and nurses thanked me. “We don’t usually get that.”

   I also once tried to, I guess, bribe a doctor to get me one of the best specialists in Japan to save my ex-wife. He wasn’t sure if he could. “Can this be solved with money?” He told me: Not anymore. But even that worked. He saw that I wasn’t fucking around. We got the doc we needed. A bit of an aside, sorry.

9. I think it’s seen as trying to gain favoritism if you give it only to one person.

   If you giving to all the staff I don’t see the issue. Just ask them what their policy is directly.

10. Thanks everyone, for your replies. I unfortunately haven’t got something for everyone as it’s a huge team and I would have to bring probably 10 boxes of sweets which was too much to bring back in my suitcase. From your replies I understand that it can put teachers in an akward position and the last thing I want is to make them uncomfortable, so since we’ve got to call them about another issue, we’ll casually ask during that phone call if it would be ok to bring an individual gift and stick with their answer.

11. It’s acceptable to give snacks that can be shared in a teachers’ room, but it’s not appropriate to give something (even if it’s inexpensive) to an individual.