Hello there,
I’ve recently moved in a very inaka city and I know that self-introduction plays an important role in Japanese culture so I try to do it whenever I have a long conversation with someone. However, people feel disinclined to tell me their names. Within a week, Ive had two conversations where people refused to tell me their names or gave obvious false names. Am I doing something wrong?
Has anyone had similar experiences?
12 comments
You would normally only introduce yourself in formal situations. If you’re just having random conversations with the locals you wouldn’t normally introduce yourself unless they do it first or ask you what your name is.
What were the situations in which these conversations happened? I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable giving someone my name right away if they started randomly talking to me.
I’m curious what the false names were.
Japanese are pretty guarded with personal information. What makes you think that everyone you encounter would want to give you their name?
If only when its clear that you will be meeting each other regularly then it’s normal to ask
If it’s just a one off interaction might as well not
Is it inaka or a city? They are mutually exclusive to me. If actually in inaka or a small town, just take things slow. Helps to have someone introducing you for a reason of some sort. Take your time. Of course, with neighbors you can be proactive but not with every random person you meet. If you had a dog or kids, those are great icebreakers anywhere. Lone dudes need to take a calm, cautious approach. Think about joining activity-based groups in your community, then people want to know you.
I’ve lived next door to my neighbors for 8 years now, say hi to them all the time, lots of chit chat, nice people.
Can guarantee they don’t know my name, and I sure don’t know any of their names. Self introduction in personal life is not super common unless it is people you see and hang out with often.
Uh… If you’re just walking around town no random stranger is gonna tell you their names and suddenly have a conversation lol.
First and foremost, have you introduced yourself to your neighbors? I don’t know how inaka your inaka is but it doesn’t matter if your nearest neighbor is next door or across the rice paddy field, that’s priority #1.
If you wanna meet people and make friends fast, find a local watering hole. Tell the bar master or workers you’re new in town and introduce yourself briefly to them. No one wants to know your life story from the get go.
Once/if you’ve established yourself as a decent person they’ll probably start introducing you to other regulars and go from there.
You have to meet people more than once, get familiar first then ask names. And if the only provide last name, which will probably be the case don’t pry for a first name.
I always try to introduce myself by name but people just call me “sensei” anyway. One of my neighbors eventually introduced herself and her husband’s names but otherwise I have no idea what my neighbor’s names are.
Sounds like you’re acting creepy and weird, maybe stop doing that
They probably think you’re just trying to recruit them into a cult/religion/MLM tbh