Feeling Guilty About Disliking My Job

I’m an ALT, and technically, I’m having an easy time of it. My coworkers are nice, all of my JTE’s lead their classes as expected, and I like my town. I am definitely a person who did this simply because I wanted to be here for a while, but I do my best with the tasks they give me and I’m grateful for the opportunity. I was actually an ALT for a year in the past, and really liked this lifestyle at the time. Lately though, those feelings seem to have faded pretty hard, and I’m sad about that.

I’ve found myself desk warming quite a lot. I actually really like being left on my own at work, but spending the majority of an 8 hr day sitting in one place, stuck in my own head, leaves me stiff, restless, and irritable. I’ve studied Japanese and read many books, but I feel a bit watched and limited. I like to draw but that seems “unprofessional.” There isn’t any work to do that wouldn’t be completely fake productivity.

I wish I had more concrete resources to reassure me that the agitation, restlessness, and physical aches I feel aren’t stupid, illegitimate reasons to think this is getting difficult. I feel so tired by the time I get home that I don’t want to do many things I like, but can’t help thinking I have no right to feel that way.

If my friend told me this, I would tell them it’s perfectly fair to feel these things, and most people don’t feel very good in sedentary desk work. It’s not illegitimate stress just because you can’t see “good reasons”, or because other people struggle with more difficult conditions. I also think satisfaction comes and goes, and maybe the heat is getting to me. It’s just very hard to accept that for myself.

I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to deal with periods like this, and maybe if anyone knows good psychology facts that make it make sense.

30 comments
  1. You probably feel watched because you feel guilty about not really doing anything.

    But in reality, everyone is too busy to really have any time to pay attention to what you’re (not)doing.

    Enjoy your quasi UBI, summer is nearly over.

  2. Draw. If that will help you, just do it. I once worked at a high school and one (Japanese) teacher was always doing arts and crafts in his free time at his desk. It was very impressive.

  3. Bro this is totally normal experience for a JET. I worked with a five-year JET who played Skyrim all day. Never got in trouble for it. Channel your interests into the job. I printed up translations of Japanese phrases like “完全燃焼“ and diagrams pointing out English names of car parts to post on the wall. Kids seemed to like them.

  4. It might not help now that summer break is almost over, but you could spend your desk warming time learning other useful skills, for when you get tired of studying Japanese. Even doing free courses online in anything that might interest you, or help build a stronger resume in the future.

    When I was an ALT, I used to read books too but only during long vacations like summer and winter

  5. Current ALT (direct-hire) here:

    Get involved where you can outside of the classroom and teachers room. Whether it’s helping out with cleaning or in my case, I actually run laps on the field to stay in shape. The teachers know I am a competitive skier that coaches students within my school district and also run marathons with former students and local teams. I also help out with P.E. when I can and have become an assistant P.E. teacher. Sometimes even driving the snowmobile in winter to create the cross-country skiing course after a snowfall. Get involved somehow.

    When in the teachers room but nothing really to do, learn a new skill. Some study Japanese, others study programming, my first skill I decided to learn was writing in cursive. I still get asked to this day from kids to teach them to write in cursive.

  6. One of my favorite things was to join other classes, completely unrelated to the English ones. I was close with the science and gym teacher, so I’d join their classes occasionally. Sometimes music as well. Gym was particularly fun. I also really liked joining the special needs class. However, when I was forced to leave this school, I HATED the next one–which is what lit a fire under me to quit lol. You could ask (if one of your english teachers is homeroom teacher) to assist in homeroom duties. I didn’t do this, but another ALT I knew did. Also, I know some ALT eat lunch in the teachers room, but I do think eating with the students is best. The first year I worked I was lucky–the group of 3rd years was especially social. They’d often see me walking with my lunchtray and take it from me and sit it down next to them, despite me being on my way to a 2nd or 1st year floor lol.

    I also went to all nomikai, uchiage, etc. And I’d often attend the students sports events on weekends when I could.

    It really helped to form a closer bond with everyone.

  7. What you should be more concerned about is the fact that you are desk-warming for low pay.

    Try “multitasking” if you have any other marketable skills.

  8. When I was an ALT and I had these dead times, I would just say I am going to go study in the ‘definitely empty room somewhere in the school’ and no one minded

    Then I would goto that room with my own laptop that I brought from home, and play total war, skyrim, shadow of mordor or whatever all day

    Then when the students came back to school, I went back to work as usual.

  9. Is this because the sprogs are still off school?

    Couldn’t that time be spent formulating activities to unleash on the little chaps once they return?

    It’s not *always* all day with nothing to do, is it?

    If I’m between projects, I’ll usually use that time to catch up on learning stuff.

  10. If you’d like, you can talk to your JTE’s about leading the lessons. If you spend time designing your own lessons and get better at delivering them you may feel more fulfilled

  11. do you have a laptop? if not, buy a laptop. now the world is available to you. either find a job you can do online or take free online lessons and eventually get enough skills to have a real career. don’t listen to those posts saying to try to take on extra responsibilities, unless that pays extra as well (working more for free is dumb advice). do exactly what you get paid to do and work on finding a job with better pay and an actual career path. at least that’s what I would do if I was an ALT.

  12. If your an artsy person then perhaps try your hand at making an English board to while the time away? Or if athletic, join the PE and after school activites. Bring some spare clothes.

  13. If you’re an artsy person then perhaps try your hand at making an English board to while the time away? Or if athletic, join the PE and after school activites. Bring some spare clothes.

  14. I know you say you are tired, but try to go for early evening walks and take in the sights, sounds and smells.

  15. I teach JHS.

    Personally I make certain I leave my desk for every 10 minute break between periods.

    I do a quick loop around the halls to give any kid that wants it, the chance for some small talk.

    I follow the school schedule so I know when events are on that might give opportunities to interact with kids.

    I also join the Table Tennis club quite often and do a bit of training or even coaching (I played competitively a very long time ago).

    On top of this and probably most interesting for you. I have reserved the first few minutes of almost every class as “story time” listening practice.

    I go in a few minutes early and make a quick chalk drawing on the board, after the greetings I tell a story related to the drawing (usually something I did on the weekend or something about my home country). I use sentences (maybe 3 or 4 sentences) and vocabulary appropriate to the year but I use the same picture and basic story for all three years.

    After the story the kids discuss for 30 seconds or so and then I ask basic questions. Who, what, where, when etc…

    It’s proven to be very popular with both teachers and students over the 3+ years I have done it.

  16. This is common – I had a friend who worked as an in-house translator for a company that didn’t really have enough work to require an in-house translator, so she spent a lot of time desk warming. She read books on her computer or browsed wikipedia and things like that to look busy. And some people might be like hey! Get to sit and read books all day and get paid! Nice! But it can feel like you’re wasting your life. You’re not really “free” because you have to sit there and worry about looking appropriately busy, but you’re not really doing anything that seems to make your presence useful or valuable. It’s natural to want to feel like somewhere you have to be at for 40 hours a week actually wants/needs you there. Anyway, my friend solved it by getting a job where she has to do more. Higher pay, too, which is nice. You might try to make little goals for yourself to work towards. The aimlessness of it may be part of what’s bothering you.

  17. That’s why you’re only supposed to do it for a year tops before bouncing. I’m always blown away that some mans go on decades doing it.

    It’s super easy (and sort of cushy if you’re a direct hire) but if you have any semblance of passion and drive, the wasted time will drive you nuts.

  18. I’ve been at a private high for a long, long time. Now a life-time hire. But I also get tired sitting at the same desk, being in the same room all day long. I’m actually much happier when I’m busy teaching classes because it’s very active.

    Many of my teachers, to be honest, are not as busy as they seem. So many chime in here, talking about how Japanese teachers are too busy and all. But as someone delicately put it, “Japanese work long, not hard.” There may be a few, but what I’ve noticed is a lot of chit-chat. And that, I’ve realized, it partly where my boredom / loneliness can come from. Not many seem interested in engaging with me, and my Japanese is pretty good.

    What I’ve developed over time is to create projects for myself, mostly for my classes. I make things, think about things, create content, which a lot of Japanese teachers are unfortunately not very good at doing. But I’ve also found a couple of spaces outside of the teacher’s room and my desk where I can be alone. Sometimes I study Japanese there, sometimes I do other things. But to just escape and breathe. In fact, I have firmly decided to take short walks this coming winter season to enjoy the daylight while it’s still light.

    Japan can be a lonely place as many have written in here before. And many Japanese teachers at my school are not very good at giving praise, feedback, and recognition for other’s efforts in my opinion.

  19. I did a year with a one-day-per-week (direct hire) job at a high school and managed to write and publish two research articles in my down time even though I spent most of my time going through decades of *The New Yorker*’s comics in other free periods.

  20. Feeling stressed and tired from doing nothing is normal. If you feel the need to be productive, to use your intellect then you need to do something about it.

    Option 1: You can ask other teachers or staff if they need help with something. There Is usually some kind of office work that needs to be done, and they will probably welcome it

    Option 2: you can use the time to study and learn new skills.

    Option 3: change jobs.
    That’s what I did when I felt the way you are right now.

  21. Is this what my Japanese tax money is paying for ? I mean I know jet teachers are recorders set on repeat but then to be hyper emotional and Whiny while taking a pay check for doing nothing? We are so blessed to get the bottom rung to educate our kids!

  22. I could have written this post, I’m in the exact same boat as you 😭 your feelings are valid, you shouldn’t feel guilty. I do sometimes too but we shouldn’t, hang in there 💕

  23. My friend basically did a mathematics degree at a deskwarming job in Japan. Also, you could get a sick gaming laptop. Go ham.

  24. You feel bad because doing sweet fuck all in a dead end job the entire day isn’t fulfilling. Find something you enjoy whilst surrounding yourself with like minded people and get excited as you excel while doing it.

  25. Heya, former 5 year JET ALT here!

    Desk-warming angst is totally legit! You feel bored, useless, scrutinized and sort of… trapped by obligation! It’s a classic ALT dilemma, and one that I experienced myself many times.

    A lot like what other people are saying, “make hay while the sun shines!” I found the most useful (and marketable!) thing to do was study Japanese. Regardless of your level, the best place to start is with the vocab and kanji you encounter in your staff room and at school- you’ll feel better because you’ll understand what’s going on, you’ll be more competent at your job and you’ll be able to improve relations with your coworkers. What’s more, you won’t have to worry about coworker side-eye because it is directly related to your work! Chase down every friggin kanji you can find in your staff room and school and get them in your brain!

    As an aside, “wani kani” I’ve found is the best kanji studying resource, but it’s a set course, so it would be separate from jamming your work vocab.

    Obvi there’s always lesson planning to do, but with all your time it’s fair to not always be in the mood.

    Try to make a schedule for yourself, set little goals, and understand angst is normal. You’ll get ‘em

    (Ps: try to get at least JLPT N2 before you leave!)

  26. Tell youself stop being a nice guy, be an asshole. This world don’t deserve your kindness.

  27. You nearly just described my current situation to a T. Stagnation does horrid things to the human mind. Plus, being “watched” means that you always feel pressure. An easy job that that damages you psychologically, for ANY reason, is not really an easy nor necessarily good job.

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