I’m agender and use they/them, so it’s kind of hard for me already in the States, but I’m going to Japan this summer for the first time and want to know how to address myself with neutral pronouns (and maybe tell others to not use gendered ones, I’m not sure the etiquette for pronouns in Japan)
6 comments
For reference, I still have a super feminine first name if that would even matter
To refer to yourself you can just use 私/僕/俺 (whichever you want). But you should tell others to just use your name. Should probably expect store staff to probably use gendered pronouns though.
I think you’re in luck! Once you know someone’s name in Japanese, that’s pretty much how you address them from that point on. Also, if they’re being polite (which isn’t rare), when they’re talking about someone they don’t know, they use あの人(ano hito) or あの方 (ano kata), both of which literally mean “that person”. 😊
To be fair, while there are pronouns in Japanese, it’s quite common not to use them. People often just use your name, even if you’re on a “no-honorific use” level.
As the other commenter said, to refer to yourself you can just use 私 (watashi) which is generally pretty neutral. Some say it has a bit of a female connotation to it when used informally, but it’s the closest to a neutral “I”. 僕 (boku) is normally used by men, but it’s sometimes used by women to who it can give a tomboyish aire. 俺 (ore) is much more male-oriented.
I’m not sure if there has been any/much development of gender neutral third person pronouns in Japanese (or how prevalent they are, if they exist), so you could maybe just ask people to always use your name, which as I said is pretty common anyway.
Related question. Anime is all I have to go off on for this, but how true or false are my impressions:
For gender neutral characters (or rather, feminine boys and masculine girls, since that’s about as far as anime usually goes on the subject), neutral-ish first person pronouns go as following:
– 私(わたし) for a mature, formal/distinguished person, but sounds feminine otherwise
– 僕(ぼく) for a younger, relatively informal person
– うち for a younger, informal, laid-back person
Am I getting this right?
Where in japan will you be visiting?