I was on the train this morning when a surge of people got on. A middle aged woman standing diagonally from me side stepped directly in front of me so that her rear was pressed up against my front. She then shifted her weight from hip to hip in what felt like an intentionally subtle grinding motion. The friction and motion produced an unwanted and uncomfortable physical reaction in my lower body. I could not move, I felt so trapped and uncomfortable. She kept doing this until enough people got off so there was more space. Eventually she got off the train without looking at me or saying anything.
I have been trying to process this all day, and I am confused. I don’t have experience with crowded trains, so did I do something wrong?
41 comments
I mean if the train was really crowded, there is probably nothing you could have done. As for the lady, my guess would be she was probably shifting weight around to keep her balance and not grinding up on you, she probably didn’t even know you were there.
z.z I … dunno?
Maybe it wasn’t intentional, or **perhaps** is was intentional? – Either way, you could move out of the way if it was uncomfortable – Or face a different direction.
Sounds like that train porno my friend was talking about
Most likely she was seeking the reaction she got. Most women will try anything to not line their rear up to you crotch. Turning sideways, facing front with a bag squeezed between you, offsetting between two people. There are lots of ways to squeeze in the car that does not end up with her rear lined up with you.
Women are just as capable of being sexually aggressive as men. It is just not as frequent.
I have been in the same situation.
Early morning metro. Lots of people. ~30s woman steps in front of me and pushes her ass against my scrotum. Can’t move much. Confusion. Maybe it’s unintentional but then I see that she has well enough space in front of her, so no, she is doing it on purpose. Metapod used harden. Forcefully turn around 90 degrees to de-escalate. Mixed feelings, more confusion. Was I molested?
I talked with my wife about it and her theory was that she tried to entice me to touch her so she could blackmail the fuck out of me. Good explanation I think.
Comments here are a bit dismissive. Intentional or not, in the end you were put in an extremely uncomfortable situation with little power to get out. I am sorry you had to go through that and hope you are alright. Its probably not right to call yourself the creep when it was you who was uncomfortable.
Someone here said not to think about it sexually, thats awfully dismissive. You are entitled to your feelings and the situation you described would make a lot of people uncomfortable.
There have been reports of falsely accusing foreigners of sexual assault in packed trains. Might have been a trap.
First off I’m sorry that you experienced that. It’s natural for you to feel freaked out about it and I will say it could have easily been sexual, because I have had something similar albeit more overt happen on a commuter train.
A woman pressed herself against me, and stared at me and didn’t let up even when there was space to move. I didn’t push her off because I was worried that she would freak out and maybe say I was a chikan or something. Luckily I was close to the door and slid away at the next stop, but even then I had to awkwardly angle my body, she literally wouldn’t move.
I ended up being late to work that day.
Hope you didn’t feel too grossed out by it dude.
I would have turned my body so that whatever touching was occurring due to overcrowding would have been less intimate.
i always have my backpack in front of me in crowded trains, not mainly for the reason talked about here, but it is a peace of mind nonetheless knowing there won’t be any chance of a SH incident
Do you feel she was shifting weight according to the train movement, or was it unnecessary? That was a terribly uncomfortable position to be in, so sorry you had to go through that.
Sounds like a trap to me man. I’ve seen plenty of dudes just trying to get home, be harassed by chicks because of accidents. Saw an older man start to fall asleep and his toe barely touched a lady and she started screaming at him like he jumped on top of her. My rule is, hands up, backpack in front, and turn your back to any lady you can. Try to get in a corner or on the door and just look into it. I know fully, there are a lot of creeps and ladies have every reason to respond the way they do, but there are also ladies looking to get you in trouble. In that situation, definitely force people around you to give you space and twist yourself in another direction.
*uncomfortable physical reaction in my lower body*
Can’t you just say “I got a boner”?
20 years ago I fell asleep in an aisle seat and woke up with a young woman’s crotch on my shoulder.
It happens. Don’t dismiss him just because he’s a man.
I’m sorry it happened to you. Males can be assaulted too. It’s more about how you felt rather than the intention of the other person. If you felt uncomfortable, cornered, couldn’t act or escape the situation, frozen by fear, despite the biological response that you can’t control then you were a victim.
In similar situation I try to turn sideways or slid my bag over my midsection.
My friend. You were assaulted.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I think you were assaulted.
You’re not a creep and you didn’t do anything wrong. Men can be victims of sexual assault, just like women can. You’re physical reaction isn’t an indication that you liked being assaulted either. It’s just a physical reaction to an unwanted touch.
My husband is a lawyer, and years ago, he said if I was ever chikan in the train, to always make a report at the nearest station. Even if you couldn’t ID the assailant, make a report because it helps to build a case for that particular line if other survivors come forward.
If you need support, contact [TELL ](https://telljp.com/)
I have literally encountered another women moving trough the train so she could stand with her behind against mine, the only other woman there. Clearly so we could literally protect each others back. I do not like my behind to touch any part of a strange man’s body and like all women that I know I will go out of my way to avoid it. I think you need to trust your gut feeling here, there’s something fishy about this and you know it. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if this was on purpose.
Woman : Twerks on man’s crotch
Man : I think she is making a unwanted sexual approach but I’m not sure, let me ask Reddit
This can happen, or you are imagining it.
Definitely not unheard of that creepy people will intentionally use a crowded train to stand really close to someone, even if they aren’t touching them with their hands or anything. I’m sure 99% of the time women rather than men are the victim of this, though.
I haven’t been on a train in many years but don’t trains have cameras that can be used as evidence in case she was trying to up set him? I have no idea what happens in the investigation process after someone is excused because the media rarely does follow-ups.
A long time ago I came to Japan for vacation and has a younger girl standing very close to me when I was sitting down and then some crotch contact with my leg that went on for a long time with no reaction from her.
At the time I thought wow… lots of people on the train, this must be an everyday thing in Japan.
Since then I have never experienced anything like it, but when it first happened I was thinking trains were just like that, so I can relate to your confusion.
You have been assaulted. I do not understand why so many people are dismissive.
The train was crowded, she got her private parts near yours and rocked back and forth.
Now imagine if a male would go near a woman, make his private parts touch the women’s and then rock back and forth. Sexual assault right?
I am sorry this happened, please consider finding a good therapist if it stucks with you.
I wish you the best. Dms open if you need to talk
From a woman’s point of view, a few things come to mind.
You don’t mention her shape/size so since this is Japan it’s possible that she’s a twig, but many women have “extra cushioning” around their butts and thighs and they do have a tendency to bump into everything and everyone on a crowded train (speaking from personal experience). Because of how the train moves (and especially if she doesn’t have any handle or bar or anything to hold on to), it’s possible that she’s moving the way she does because of how the train moves and as a way to remain on her feet and not fall over. Staying still and not swaying on a moving train is much harder when you have nothing to hold on to and only a limited space to stand/balance. In other words, her “rubbing” against you can be entirely accidental and it’s possible that she’s not even noticing it. Personally, I zone out while on a crowded train because there is almost no way for me to prevent accidentally rubbing my hips against someone pressed up against me. Same thing with my chest. When everyone is packed like sardines, there isn’t much you can do to keep your distance from someone and so these awkward situations happen.
What I can tell you though is that if you did get a boner, she likely felt it and if she then kept pushing/rubbing up against you then I’d say that it was on purpose.
I have been in that situation (more than once) as well and trust me, I could feel it and I changed position (and probably annoyed everyone else around me in the process).
If she was “out to get you”, it does seem strange that she’d just walk off without acknowledging you in anyway. I’m willing to bet that she’d be able to set you up pretty good on “just” a boner as well (take it from someone who’s had men deliberately rub that part against me on a crowded train).
So perhaps she’s just a whole lot better at zoning out than the rest of us and just didn’t notice.
Or maybe she did notice and just didn’t want to add to either of your embarrassment by making a scene or pointing it out. Chances are that she, like me, has been there before and can tell the difference between an accident and an intentional act (on your part) and therefor decided to pretend like nothing happened.
I don’t know, I’m just speculating.
What I do know though is that if you didn’t do it on purpose then you are NOT a creep. Shit happens and you’re not the first guy to accidentally get a boner while being pressed up against someone on a crowded train.
Some of these comments are appalling, holy shit. If a women posted this the reactions would be so different. Some of y’all need to reevaluate your way of thinking
Would it be assault if it was a man that pressed his dick up against a girls rear on the train and started wobbling a bit back and forth or up and down even if there’s space enough for him to take a small step back, put his bag in between, turn around etc?
(Yes, and it’s not any different than your situation OP)
I was riding the train drunk one night coming from the office with my hands on the bars and leaning on the back doors. The train was empty and had lots of seats. These 2 office ladies got on the train just chatting about work and Japanese tv dramas who seemed to have had a few drinks after work as well.
One of the ladies stands behind me and then presses her ass on my crotch and makes motion of sliding up and down on me like a stripper pole the whole time talking to the other girl like nothing was going on. Other girl looked at her friend with a strange look, then ignored it like nothing was going on and just kept talking about Japanese tv dramas.
I just stood there shocked and was thinking “is this really happening” when the train got to the station the doors opened both girls got off making no eye contact and continuing their conversation like nothing happened.
So yes there is woman chikans
Did she sexually assault his crotch with her ass, or did he sexually assault her ass with his boner?
I’ve heard this happening from some people… so it being just some coincidence and being dismissive about is the wrong way to go about it. This is weird and it keeps happening without much being said and done about it and just pushed under the rag cause it is just one of those things in society where something like this if happened to women would have caused outrage but when its flipped people start being dismissive about it and generally not give a fk about it or worse make fun of someone who likely got sexually harassed… humans are weird.
Can’t help it coz it’s just to crowded. It happens a lot during rush hours and nothing is sexual about it. You’re entitled for your feelings but it just can’t be helped when everyone else is also cramped up lol nobody wants to be like that it’s just there’s no space to be comfortable for anyone.
I have experience and sometimes it’s so crowded that even on the super wobbly trains just don’t hold any bar or hand rest and you won’t even shift a centimeter lol.
Something similar happened to me once. Train was so packed but people pushed in during a stop. I got pushed in a way were my thigh got pushed between another dudes ass cheeks and I couldn’t move away. He knew there was nothing that could be done so we just accepted our fates. Every time the train shook I could feel my leg between his cheeks.
I was groped by a lady on a busy train. I wasn’t and still am not complaining about said event. It happens on rare occasions. Would I have been pissed if the lady was unnatractive? probably. Do you have the right to feel uncomfortable? Bloody oath you do. You did nothing wrong.
I’m pretty sure she didn’t even notice. Relax
no, you didn’t do anything wrong, You are way overthinking it. packed trains are packed, and while the train is in motion people move around a bit. It isn’t anything to worry about, or even think about.
You have been assaulted, whether intentionally or not.
It’s Japan. Trains are crowded. Nothing more.
Carry your bags in front of your body
I’m not sure why people are trying to gaslight you into thinking nothing happened. A young woman did the same thing to me once before, and it was fairly obvious that it was on purpose and that she was enjoying it. I think some people are just freaks, and if it bothers you you should definitely get therapy
First time commuting? 😂 this was a daily thing for me until I started working from home.
I don’t like being the “what about” person … But for all the dismissive people, if this was the other way y’all would be all kinda supportive and comforting.
Y’all need to do better!!
This is why one should always carry a clipboard.