I’ve been on and off studying Japanese for about 15 years and have been quite passionate about the country and culture for the time, all without visiting the country. I’ve just started my third year of UK university which is in Japan. I’ve been here for two days and I hate it. I have a food intolerance so I can’t find anything to eat. I’m in student accommodation which is tedious and uncomfortable for me being basically 10 years older than everyone else and I’m just not having a good time.
I’m trying to convince myself to give it a week but the idea of being here for a whole year is upsetting. I’ve been out and socialised and shopped and tried to get on with it but when you can’t eat anything in the restaurant after searching through them all with a bunch of people it just becomes not fun.
Is this just being dramatic or can you really tell something just doesn’t work that quickly. I understand it is a culture shock but if I’m not having a good time I’m struggling to understand why I’m doing it to myself. I’m just not seeing the benefits.
I’m not sure really what I’m asking or whether this is just a rant or maybe I’m just looking for approval to go home. Any comments welcome.
31 comments
This is a copy of your post for archive/search purposes.
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**Is it realistic to give up on Japan after two days?**
I’ve been on and off studying Japanese for about 15 years and have been quite passionate about the country and culture for the time, all without visiting the country. I’ve just started my third year of UK university which is in Japan. I’ve been here for two days and I hate it. I have a food intolerance so I can’t find anything to eat. I’m in student accommodation which is tedious and uncomfortable for me being basically 10 years older than everyone else and I’m just not having a good time.
I’m trying to convince myself to give it a week but the idea of being here for a whole year is upsetting. I’ve been out and socialised and shopped and tried to get on with it but when you can’t eat anything in the restaurant after searching through them all with a bunch of people it just becomes not fun.
Is this just being dramatic or can you really tell something just doesn’t work that quickly. I understand it is a culture shock but if I’m not having a good time I’m struggling to understand why I’m doing it to myself. I’m just not seeing the benefits.
I’m not sure really what I’m asking or whether this is just a rant or maybe I’m just looking for approval to go home. Any comments welcome.
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2 days is really quick to make up your mind… it’s a big adjustment! I would suggest giving it more time unless you’re really having a crisis. Can you stick it out for another couple weeks and see if it gets better for you? Of course if you really want or need to leave, there’s no harm in that either. You know yourself best of all.
I have food allergies and I was afraid to eat a lot of things when I first got here, especially because I can’t speak or read much Japanese, but I was able to get more comfortable pretty quickly. What foods do you need to avoid?
I hope you feel better soon!! It’s quite an adjustment.
According to your post history, you have a seafood allergy. Although that seems like it would be highly inconvenient, I think you’re exaggerating a bit by saying you can’t find “anything”. My friend is vegan, and he manages to find food. For your other concerns, yes, you’re older than everyone else. Did you expect different? Also, do student accommodations ever NOT suck?
My bit of advice is to give it a bit more time, let the shock wear off, and see how you feel. Japan might not be the right place for you, but then again, it might. You won’t know until you really give it a try. Good luck!
Setting aside the food issue for a sec…I experienced something similar in my first week after moving with a wife and toddler this summer. It was especially strong due to feelings of guilt thinking I nerfed my family’s future, but it got much better after. So that part isn’t abnormal IMO, but your food intolerance is admittedly a big factor.
Did you do some research into that before coming? How bad is your intolerance and for what specifically, if you don’t mind me asking? Any way you can try to buy safe ingredients and cook.some things yourself?
Also Tokyo has a nearly infinite variety of restaurants, even if the non Japanese ones can be pricey. So it’s hard to think that you can’t find *anything* to eat out there.
If you can’t eat in restaurants, what is stopping you from cooking?
Anyway, if it’s that bad, there is no shame in quitting your exchange early. Japan isn’t for everyone. I would still give it a week though. You need time to book a flight home anyway.
What don’t you like about japan?
I was in the same position as you and it took me 3 months to stop feeling like running back home. After that i didn’t want to leave Japan no matter what.
What do you mean you can’t find anything to eat? I don’t eat seafood at all yet I found food in Japan quite satisfying.
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I really don’t mean to be unhelpful with this, but I’ve moved here fairly recently and have been trying to convince my best friend to come and visit. He has a severe gluten allergy too, which means he can’t have soy sauce which is a pretty major problem when going out to eat.
Have you heard of Tamari? It’s gluten free soy sauce that you should be able to get somewhere, but I do feel like the gluten allergy should’ve been part of your research before coming here. Celiac rates here are very low so there’s very little awareness around how to cater for it here…
It can be really hard to make the transition from an idea into reality. If you look at posts here and the other Japan-related subreddits, you’ll see all sort of people mentally hyping up Japan. It can sometimes feel like a harsh reality that crashes down around you when you figure out that Japan is just a normal place. Like everywhere, it has plenty of bad things to go with the good things.
It reminds me a little of an issue that sometimes happens to Japanese people called Paris Syndrome. Basically, actual Paris is so different than their idea of Paris that people have all sort of psychiatric issues. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_syndrome
I’d encourage you to stick this out a little longer than even a week. To flip it around, do you think people would know whether they’d like to live in your home country after just two days?
The food thing does sound like it’s making you miserable, and probably should be the first thing you try to resolve. What is it that’s so hard to avoid that you can’t eat out?
When it comes to food, Japan has a lot of good options beyond restaurants, even if you don’t want to cook. The convenience stores are sort of famous for their food, but grocery stores and department stores have extensive pre-cooked meals. College campuses sometimes even have nearby bento stores that specialize in pre-made meals.
You’re not giving up on Japan per se, you’re giving up on your current way of going about Japan, which is as a non-traditional university student, which I’m sure adds additional stressors besides just moving here. Obsessing over the age gap isn’t really constructive, though.
Your excuse of being unable to cook, and your seeming lack of research before coming here are also questionable in the face of a severe dietary restriction. But no shame in heading back to less stressful circumstances. Come back on holiday or something.
Why not just cook at home? I think Japan isn’t for everyone- the culture shook is a bit extreme. I think certain foreigners will appreciate different things. I’d say, If you’re feeling this way now, it probably want get any easier your first year here. But after two years it can become better because it has time to set in that this is your life now.
I don’t know what else you’re struggling with besides food but cooking at home can be a valid option. I’m not sure why you didn’t researching more before coming here, personally. Asia is going to suck if you can’t eat gluten, I’ll tell you that right now. The most fun part of being here is eating those types of foods. You might want to look into order places that understand your problem and can help you more.
u/taylalatbh as what others have mentioned, 2 days is too early to decide on giving up.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a difficult time in Japan, especially after having such a strong interest in the country and culture for so long. It’s not uncommon to experience culture shock and feel overwhelmed when you first arrive in a new country, even if you’ve been passionate about it for years. Here are some pieces of advice that might help you navigate this challenging situation.
First and foremost, give it some time. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and disoriented when you first arrive in a new place, and culture shock can be particularly challenging in the beginning. A few days may not be enough to form a complete impression of life in Japan.
Secondly, find support. Reach out to other students or expats who may be experiencing similar feelings. You may be able to find a community of people who can offer support and understanding during this transition. There are also books that can help you with the adjustment like, [“The 10 Things I wish I knew before I moved to Japan”](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37847429-the-10-things-i-wish-i-knew-before-i-moved-to-japan?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=TxQ6huyhA9&rank=2) and [“RYUUGAKUSEI”](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/153528712-ryuugakusei).
When it comes to your food intolerance, explore food options. Being in a foreign country with dietary restrictions can be tough, but there are often alternative food options available. Look for restaurants or markets that cater to your dietary needs or consider cooking your own meals if possible. Learning to navigate dietary restrictions in a new culture can be a valuable skill.
If you’re struggling with your student accommodation or other aspects of your university experience, don’t hesitate to speak to university services. They may be able to help you find more comfortable housing or provide advice on how to cope with the challenges you’re facing. Maybe rent an apartment?
Additionally, set realistic expectations. Sometimes, our expectations about a place or experience don’t match reality. Try to assess what specific expectations you had about your time in Japan and whether they are realistic. Adjusting your expectations can help reduce disappointment.
Take some time to reflect on why you chose to study in Japan in the first place. What were your goals, and what did you hope to achieve from this experience? It might help to revisit your initial motivations to remind yourself why you embarked on this journey.
Lastly, if you find that your negative feelings persist and are impacting your well-being, consider seeking professional help. Talking to a mental health professional can provide guidance and support to help you navigate your emotions and make informed decisions.
It’s essential to give yourself time to adapt and assess whether this experience aligns with your long-term goals and well-being. It’s not being dramatic to have doubts or to feel homesick or uncomfortable when adjusting to a new culture. It’s a challenging process, and everyone’s experience is unique. Take it one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to make changes or decisions that are in your best interest, even if it means reevaluating your study abroad plans. Your well-being should be a top priority.
Just got back from a holiday in Japan with my vegan girlfriend and we managed ok. Just do some Googling; plenty of ‘vegan in Japan’ Instagram accounts and vegan apps to help you. you may have to eat on your own occasionally but you will find new places to explore.
Somewhat dramatic, do you think Pat of it is homesickness or something?
Either way having serious food allergies or “intolerances” can be a pain. I work with a guy that’s practically allergic to everything here, his work around was getting in a relationship and learning through her steps to help the problem
Two days is way too short, i think.
I think you’re just panicked about the year. Take a deep breath and just think about what to do on the day to day. Not knowing the language can be frustrating, especially with food allergies. If you dont like stove cooking, i suggest getting foods and snacks you can make without cooking, and you should be able to work out what doesnt have gluten. A few chain restaurants will have allergen menus now as well.
I think you just need to work out what is going to work for you, and get out of the headspace that its inpossible. Because thats all you’re going to want to see right now.
You’re gonna have to give it 6+ months for the culture shocked to wear off.
Keep yourself busy – socialize (or at least try) with others to make the transition better.
Come on, give it a try! Find a way to experiment Japan. If it’s not for you, decide after a while. IT WILL GET BETTER like everything in life
I really looked forward to moving here and I love living here now. That being said I experienced culture shock when I first got here and nearly passed out in fear. I think you need to give it more time. Also- share houses are weird AF to me and not even cheap. Find a small place to yourself if you’re trying to save money.
In just 2 days you can’t have possibly experienced all of the troubles a foreigner has to go through as a new arrival hahahaha
First couple months are really hard, but if you have food intolerances, Japan can become hell real quick!
I don’t know what type of school or university you are in but I would suggest going to talk to someone, in person, from your school (like student services or something like that) as they should be there to listen to you if you are having any problems, or be able to point you to the right person to talk too. They might even be able to help to find/show you foods you can eat or even help you write something out to show restaurants what you can not eat.
Good luck!!
Here’s a [link](https://nhkomorebi.com/seven-eleven-meal/) to some Gluten Free foods you can find at a convenience store. But I recommend double checking with Google translate at a 7-11. I suggest finding food here first, so you can quickly grab something and not have to worry about sustenance at least.
We can’t tell you what to do, nor do we know what your life has been thus far, but I would deeply regret leaving after just two days. It seems like it was a lot of work to get here, and to throw it away in less than a week seems rash. If you’re experiencing severe anxiety, I would recommend seeking a therapist (probably someone online from the west).
Good luck, and I you’re able to find your “something” here.
You have studied Japanese for 15 years and want to leave after two days? Come on! It’ll certainly get better!
My partner (vegan) and I lived in Japan (south of Kyoto) for three months last year. There is a TON of resources online on how to find foods in grocery stores and restaurants that apply to your dietary restrictions, you just need to google and find that good website.
I’ll admit it must be hard when you are alone. We are academics in our mid-30s, and it was also hard for us to connect with graduate students (who barely spoke English) and local expats (most being English teachers in their 20s). But we still made a few friends during our stay 🙂
Maybe try to connect with other expats just to have someone to share your experience with? Check out local Meetup and FB groups.
It’s not easy to make big decisions at the best of times, especially so if you’ve just arrived in a new place, might be jet-lagged, and haven’t had much food in the past few days, so take a beat if you can. You don’t have to decide right now.
Cocoichi Curry house is pretty much everywhere and they do allergy free food options if I remember rightly. Also just googling gluten free Japan/Tokyo etc brings up lots of options. Rice/eggs/seaweed/fruit from the supermarket might also be good.
A good way to think about decisions can be to think about what you are going to regret. Would you regret leaving after just a couple of days? Or would you regret not going home to do something else? Think about yourself looking back at this time from some point in the future.
Also sometimes it’s good to take yourself out of your comfort zone. Challenging yourself to learn a new language, go somewhere you’ve never been before, meet new people etc are rewarding partly *because* they’re difficult. You’ve probably done hard things before, and you’ll probably do them again.
I would try to get some rest, make sure you’re drinking enough water, and find something to eat, even if it’s just fruit, rice and eggs. It might be easier to decide after that.
Honestly, I get why you changed your mind, I did the exact same thing (studied for less time tho).
It’s hard to make the change and become an outsider… although Japanese people tend to be really nice and peaceful, there is still hate towards outsiders & the realisation of what the reality may be is such a put off.
I was diagnosed with symptomatic celiac disease when I was 3, while I understand that it is very inconvenient to constantly have to ask about sauces and marinations etc. it is something we have to deal with practically everywhere, if you have not learnt how to cook the basics yet, you should really try giving it a go, else, 95% of the world will remain off limits to you. If nothing else, it might make the experience easier if you view your time in Japan as a necessary period of growth and character/skill building exercise.
*”…have been quite passionate about the country and culture for the time, all without visiting the country.”*
So you’ve been quite passionate about what you THOUGHT the country and culture were, probably based off of movies, anime, manga, etc. Surprise!
Seriously though, our expectations are almost never met, especially when they’ve been building over time. You didn’t move here, right? You’re still just a student? My advice is to toughen up and stick it out. You have an opportunity a LOT of young folks would love to have. I promise you that if you push through this it will benefit you in ways you can’t even imagine yet.
What if you’d waited til after college and then took a job and moved here? You think it’s hard being a student? (it’s not, according to most folks with knowledge of higher education here) Try being a freshman worker at a J company. As others have mentioned, get online and 1) research GF restaurants and foods in Japan, and 2) learn how to cook for yourself. I guarantee 90% of the foods you ate in the UK you can find here.
Oh, and btw, it’s natural to miss home and get depressed when you’re away from it for a long time, especially if it’s for the first time. Wouldn’t matter if you were here or in a European country. It will pass. Trust me.
You’ve been studying Japanese for 15 years? Get out of your dorm room and start talking with people. Ask locals where to get GF foods. You were attracted to Japan for cultural reasons, so explore those. If you love shrines and temples get out and visit them. If you’re into anime, cosplay or whatever, find some other like-minded individuals and share your passion.
Yes you are being dramatic. It’s only been two days, people take time to settle down in new surroundings. Try it out for a bit longer and if you still hate it then you can consider leaving.
You’re getting a lot of “tough it out” messages and “you should have planned better”, but little help of use to you in your current moment. I would suggest you focus primarily on food.
I can’t drink alcohol or caffeine, I’m incredibly intolerant to eggs, mustard, dairy, alliums (onions, garlic etc) even small traces ruin me for days, so I understand the anxiety you’re going through. It sucks not to just eat anything anywhere, but don’t let your nutrition and mental health slip as a result.
Get yourself an [allergy](https://www.celiactravel.com/cards/japanese) card (make it yourself, download it etc). Practice using it in places of low risk, look up gluten free restaurants, meals etc and then literally go there and eat it, find a friend, go alone, just enjoy it and know it’s safe, and in those moments, take a deep breathe, calm down, and focus only on the moment, like the architecture, the sounds, the people, the smells. This is more mindfulness, but moving abroad is a huge stressor for anyone, and it sounds like you have no plan to manage it, and you need one. You need to find comfort, and consistency in the basics. Get a routine, get your sleep, food, socializing set. Once you’ve got that, you’ll feel better, and you can slowly work on what you can eat and where.
I go out but usually customize my meal where possible, or call in advance, and prep menus. Usually a phone call, or allergy menu. But could I do this in my first two days? Nope. Do what you can, and rather than focusing on the negative fears and catastrophising, focus on the moment and what there is to enjoy around you, even if it’s just noticing it in place of a negative thought.
Best of luck
kitchen origin has a great online allergy menu (but I’ll be honest I don’t know what gluten is, wheat?) [kitchen origin allergy menu](https://www.toshu.co.jp/kitchen_origin/area_east/list.html). Check it out. Gluten is not a common allergy in Japan so it’s tough. But find little wins, then build up from there.
EDIT: Also, learn to cook! Even just boiling some safe noodles and veggies
Can you not eat like a Keto diet for the time being.
Get on Amazon Japan setup an account, I just logged into mine and typed Gluten free and there were 10 different options, pasta, soy, bread, oats.
Take your time, it’s all confusing and searching for stuff takes time.