Hi,
With my wife we will soon have a baby. She is Japanese and I’m not. What do you think about the baby to have a foreigner family name? The baby itself will have a Japanese name. My wife was really for this idea at the beginning but now she has some doubts (like perception from Japanese people, classmates, discrimination).
For me as the baby is born in Japan with a Japanese mother it will be Japanese and thus there will be no problem but I understand that this can be a foreigner point of view.
Thank you 🙂
38 comments
If nothing else, think about all the issues foreigners have just inputting their own name in forms online. All the things we have to worry about, your kid will too. Just another headache to consider on top of potential prejudice.
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Last name will need to match the koeseki so what name is it under? Yours or hers?
Our son has full Japanese name in Japan and in my country it’s Japanese first name and my last name
Japanese surname is easier to fit in. Though it is up to you and your wife. Do you plan on settling forever and technically the child too until theyre of age? then maybe a Japanese name would be better.
If you plan to raise them internationally anyway, then I’d say a foreign name. no matter what, Most Japanese who the child just met will presumably think she’s not Japanese or full japanese (even with the Japanese name) So do what you think will give your child an easier life.
My wife and our kids have my family name, in katakana. They’ve had no big problems.
At kindergarten level other kids might say ‘Why are you called xxxx? Are you foreign?” and so on, but they’d just say “No, but my Dad is.”
For my wife, also no big deal, though she has to ‘spell it out’ in katakana to people over the phone etc.
No regrets, really.
We kept my wife’s family name in Japan and used mine in the country I’m from. This way they stay in the family registry.
If the kid is going to stay in Japan, Japanese name would be easier / more convenient for them to fill in forms and other legal stuff. Also preventing people from mispronouncing their name all the time.
I’m half Japanese and my family name is foreign, my halfie friends also have foreign last names (unless the father is Japanese) and the secret is, raise your child so it’s self confident and won’t care too much what others think and stand up to others.
I never got discriminated because of my last name actually. Maybe I’ve met ignorant people, but my last name is very hard to pronounce and write in any language actually.
A colleague of mine married a Scot. She took his surname in form of katakana, and their kids have their dad’s surname, with western-sounding names, also in katakana.
My name is a mishmash of katakana and kanji characters and I’ve never felt discriminated against or judged, or ever had issues inputting my name into any forms in Japan.
So do whatever you want, except I find it weird this is about the surname since you don’t get a choice, it follows their koseki tohon.
The only real issue we wanted to avoid was having a different name than my wife’s family. They literally never question anything when filling in forms etc at the town hall. But turn up with a different name and they will want proof.
We just registered him with her family name here and my family name back home.
The other name is in brackets on both I think.
I know it’s not what you are asking exactly, but according to a few foreign guys I have dated or been with, having a middle name is quite difficult in Japan too. Seems they had a lot of issues because of it, so I suggest you don’t give the child a middle name.
My wife and three kids have Japanese kanji first names and last name ジョンソン (Johnson). No issues at all, no matter where we go. But the real answer is do what’s right for you and your family.
I’m half
In my Japanese passport I have Japanese name and surname
In my foreign passport, I have a foreign name and surname
As far as Japan is concerned, you can’t “choose” the last name of your child.
Your child is placed in the koseki and will receive the family name written on the koseki.
In your case, if your wife’s current legal last name is “Tanaka” your child’s last name will be “Tanaka,” if your wife took your last name and now her legal last name is “Smith” (or whatever) then your child’s last name will be “Smith.”
They might get asked if they can speak fluent English when they’re older, or when making a bank account/any formal paperwork they’ll most likely be asked if they are an actual Japanese citizen (and the staff will be very apologetic about it). I never went to school in Japan but I have a half friend who was a b it embarrassed during whole school events where her name was called because people would whisper but not any bullying. Just please don’t give them a middle name. It’s such a hassle with passports bank accounts, job applications. I speak of experience. American last and middle name and Japanese first name
My neighbor who is from the US but wife is from Japan
Their daughter has their dad’s grandma first name and middle name is her mom’s Japanese surname and her dads last name.
Her license and passport lists all three name’s obviously so when in the states she uses her dad’s last name and when visiting Japan she introduces herself with her middle name first, and then first name….
It works wonderfully for her
It’s a decision for you and your wife to make but having a foreign last name or not isn’t really going to change anything as far as how your child is treated, unless you are Asian and they won’t be visibly foreign. My kids have their Japanese father’s last name but they are still visibly foreign, and the other mixed families at their school have the foreign father’s last name. No difference in how they are treated, according to my chats with the other mothers.
As someone else said you don’t get to pick. They’ll enter your wife’s koseki and therefore inherit your wife’s family name. If you want the baby to have your family name in katakana then you’ll have to either get your wife to change her name, or go to family court and get your child put on their own koseki with your name on it.
I’m 99.9% sure the child has to have the family name of the Koseki it will be going on. You’re a foreigner so don’t have a Koseki so automatically it will go on your wife’s Koseki and share her family name. People on the same Koseki can’t have different family names except non Japanese citizens since japan doesn’t have the authority to change a foreigner’s name
So your wife would have to change her family name as well if you wanted your child to have your family name
I have a Japanese full name (mother’s surname + Japanese given name) on my Japanese passport, and a Western full name (+ middle names including my Japanese one) on my Western passport.
I understand. I felt the same, and it worried me because I had some Japanese friends go to uni in the states and run into problems. People there had trouble with pronouncing their names, so they went with Americanized nicknames. I thought of giving my son a Japanese name that could be shortened in the states to something more American sounding. Meaning his nickname sounds American, but it’s actually a part of his Japanese first name. My son was bullied anyway by children that knew of my existence, so, depending on where you live in Japan it may be a problem and it may not. I live in a very rural area.
My wife and kids have my katakana family name and have never had an problems.
If you spend enough time in Japan you learn that almost everyone who has half-Japanese kids thinks it will be great to have names that work in both countries and the result is all the kids end up with the same twenty or so names (Ken, Miya, Maya, Lisa, etc.).
We’ve never had a problem with it.
What’s the gender of the baby? If it’s a girl Emma would be a good name, it can be 恵真 in kanji
Me and my kids took my husband’s name. My kids also has kanji(first name) and katakana for their second name. We chose not to make it difficult for them and kept the same names here and in the US.
My kids (Canadian-Japanese) have my family name, which is crazy hard for Japanese people to say correctly (so its more accurate to say they have a clumsy katakana approximation of it) but have never had problems related to it.
Did your wife change her name when you got married? The baby will have her last name by default when born as they will go on her koseki. So whatever name she’s using will be the baby’s name.
You can go to family court and petition to have the baby’s name changed, but really have to have a strong reason at that point IMO. You could also potentially change your wife’s last name before birth, but family court required here as well if more than a year since filing marriage
It’s mostly a question of convenience when it comes to living Japan. My kids have japanese names because it makes things simpler. My country can easily deal with Japanese names when it comes to any form of paperwork but here, my name always causes problems and it’s annoying so we made a practical decision.
It’s totally your decision and I understand the worry of possible discrimination or bullying in the future. However, take a moment to think of it this way. If every mixed family chooses a Japanese last name, it’ll just continue to perpetuate discrimination towards “ethnic” looking names. This is 2023. Wouldn’t it be great to normalize mixed-race children with different cultural backgrounds?
Then again, this is easy for me, a childless bystander, to say.
I’m mixed nikkeijin with a Japanese last name and even I still run into occasional dumb problems when people meet me face to face, so it doesn’t matter if the name is Japanese or not. Do what fits your family, not what fits society.
Half kids are so common now, if you’re giving the kid kanji for their first name, don’t worry too much about the surname being katakana. Just make sure you give them the same surname in both countries. Once they grow up and want to get married/ have kids (give their own kid both nationalities) it’s a pain in the ass. Source: me
Our ‘half’ Japanese/European son has a foreign first name and my foreign surname in both his Japanese and foreign passport. We changed my wife’s surname to my surname prior to my son’s birth so her Koseki now shows my surname. In everyday life it’s never been a problem for my son.
My daughters are have my foreign name and haven’t had trouble.
Your kid is probably going to be pretty obviously mixed race. The names not going to he the only clue.
It’s your family’s decision but I personally wouldn’t let how society react to change my kids’ surname. That is who they are, that is where they’re from and that is the burden or legacy they carry for what it’s worth.
You should not have to adjust your name so you can be accepted by narrow-minded people. Son’s name is western but with Japanese surname
All 3 of my children have Japanese first names and my Canadian last name. Never had any issues. As another poster stated, raise your children to love their name. And don’t worry if people say something.