When to use 僕 (boku) as a 22M?

16 comments

1. Japanese pronoun usage has entirely escaped discussion on this sub, so it’s about time somebody asked this!

2. As a foreigner you will probably get a “free pass” if you use the wrong thing

   It’s **way more complicated** than this but the short version is:

   * おれ is male friends hanging out (foreigners shouldn’t use this because you will not get it right 95% of the time)

   * ぼく is male talking to most people

   * わたし is for talking at work or to people “above” you in status

   * わたくし is even more formal (if you are a newb like me, you shouldn’t be put in a position where you would actually need this)

3. Use 私 and then if you are having a conversation with someone and they use 僕 then you switch. The real answer is you need to have a good grasp of the language and nuance to decide, but just go with the more formal if you are unsure.

4. I’m not a native speaker but the native speakers I met at university used 僕 when introducing themselves. We usually use 俺 when we’re talking but sometimes one of them uses 僕. Depends on the person I guess but I think 僕 is probably safer in general.

5. I think it also depends a lot on your friend group, what kind of job and industry you’re in, obviously your gender, etc. Sometimes I get very different answers from native speakers of the same age. But using the wrong pronouns as a foreigner can make people feel awkward around you, and unfortunately that goes in both directions of politeness.

6. 僕 can be used whenever, you almost never hear native men say 私 (though if it’s REALLY formal sometimes you will) but usually 僕 is fine

7. boku is pretty common as a polite word. i’d only be more likely to use watashi in a formal work situation or when giving a speech in front of others or something.

8. 僕 would be appropriate in most situations where 私 is. It sounds more youthful.

9. [Start at 2:30](https://youtu.be/hzdVljvFlb0).

10. [deleted]

11. In my experience if you are over 16 and use 僕 in just about any situation it makes you seem super immature. 私 for formal situations, 俺 for everything else. I’ve heard similar from native speakers, if there are any on this reddit that can back me up.

    Actually, preferably you just don’t refer to yourself much at all, but if you must go with the above.

12. As an upper-beginner of a few years who mainly speaks with a couple of friends, I use 僕 all the time. I think both the modesty and the youthfulness of it both align with me a lot, it simply fits.

    I think 俺 is too rough and macho for me personally, and 私 is both too textbooky and, in the casual situations I always speak in, somewhat feminine and/or stilted. Other pronouns are somewhat niche at the moment for me.

    I don’t work or plan to work there. I only use it casually.

13. I use 俺 when I use casual speech (with Japanese friends and my boyfriend) 俺が行く

    I use 僕 when I use です/ます form (with work colleagues/older fold)　僕が行きます

    I use 私 when I use 尊敬語 (usually with my boss or senior staff, in a work context)　私が伺います

    I’m a 6 foot tall, pretty outgoing 気が強い kind of guy though, so 俺 suits me I feel. I have a few friends that use 僕 all the time and they tend to be more academic/reserved.

    I’ve definitely seen kids in elementary school get teased for using 僕 past a certain age with their friends. The little ones use 僕 with each other, and most break into 俺 at around grade 3/4, except when using です/ます with teachers/senpais etc. But there’s room for individual preference to a certain extent. Using 私 in casual situations is stiff though, I wouldn’t do that.

14. I used 私 when I spoke / wrote with my ex. She corrected me and told me to use 僕 instead. I was 31 years old, she was 30. She is from Mie and they speak similarly to kansai dialect.

    Jump forward a year, and I speak with a new friend online. She’s from Tokyo, and I don’t know if she’s older or younger than me, but we’re about the same age I think. I use 僕, and she corrects me and tell me that it sounds childish.

    I have to say, the latter girl has a more strict tone in general when speaking, and not that keen on jokes. While my ex was very playful, playing video games, joking a lot, watching anime.

    Lastly, I still use 僕 to this day, except when talking to that friend. Why? Because I feel that it’s right for me. Despite my age (34 now), I feel like 僕. Young at heart. Haha!

15. I’m also a 22 year old male living in Japan, so I think I’m somewhat qualified to answer.

    In my case, I use 僕 with people in general, provided I’m not at work and the situation isn’t too formal. 俺 sounds a bit harsh to my ears, and I pretty much never use it, but if you’re a naturally more brash and loud person, you could probably get away with it for the most part.

    That said, when I’m at work and addressing the my school’s VP, Principal, or a much older teacher in the staff room where everyone can hear me, I use 私。Same would go if I were to meet one of my students’ parents.

    You’re a foreigner though, so people do understand that making mistakes regarding pronouns and such are inevitable and will happen, and as such probably won’t hold you to it too harshly.

16. Totally fine. The only time you need to use 私 would be when you’re in an extremely formal business situation. Like, job interviews, very formal business meetings, or presentations, etc. Other than that, nobody will feel weird when you use 僕 even with your boss. 俺 on the other hand, you might want to be very careful about the situation you’re in. 俺 sounds somewhat rude so I’d be best for you to use it when you’re with your friends or very close colleagues. Don’t use 俺 with your boss or customers.