hey!
i recently moved to japan and into an appartment in my appartment complex.
i haven’t really seen my neighbours and i am contemplating whether i should introduce myself or not.
the thing is, i don’t know if that is a good idea in regards to japanese culture. what do you think? just leave them alone completely? i do want a good “relationship” with my neighbours, even if it means not talking to them lmao
22 comments
This custom is kind of going away. I would not bother unless you are in inaka, or bought manshon/house, or, maybe, if you are renting in the building where majority of units are owned, and not rented.
If it’s a small one room mansion maybe not…? But doing it certainly won’t hurt. I’ve always done it and it puts other people at ease knowing who lives around them.
I did it and don’t regret! I am invited very often to eat with them. Make sure to bring some kind of gift from your country 😉
Never done it. Reading too much manga
Usually in the countryside, they do it but it’s less common in Tokyo. My Japanese neighbors recently did it in our apartment building though and it was great so I recommend you do the same. Bring a small gift that’s a part of your culture too.
If you want to do it and experience talking to your neighbors, then why not. I would state my purpose clearly when they are answering the bell – like who I am, why I am ringing their bell etc, because one of my friend got rejected at the entrance when ringing the bell and asked them “can I meet you for a bit” in Japanese.
But if you don’t feel like doing it, then you don’t really have to. Just like others said, unless you are living in a rural inaka area where people are old-fashioned, they won’t care about you, unless you are annoying them somehow (making noise, wrong parking, taking the trashes out on the wrong day etc) but well, that’s another problem.
I think you may want to consider who your neighbours are going to be. For example, my previous place was in a huge apartment building with lots of young couples and lots of people moving in and out constantly – chances are nobody is going to give a s*it about who you are at a place like that, so I didn’t go around introducing myself; but my current apartment is in a very small building surrounded by houses where mostly old people live, so I went and introduced myself around the neighbourhood, which was very well received. In this setting, chances are very high all the neighbours know each other already and are going to discuss the new gaijin living in the area anyway, so you may as well leave a good first impression and prevent any rumours before they even start.
As a general rule, you want to visit the apartment above and below you, as well as the ones next to you; in case of an area with houses – the one across the street, the one behind, those to your right/left, and the ones diagonally across both in front and back (total of 8).
Bring a present in the form of something useful – sure it can be something from your own country, but if that is difficult to get or might be expensive in Japan, stick to household goods such as kitchen towels or laundry detergent, basic snacks (make sure they have a long expiration date), or the like. You want the value of the present to not exceed ¥1,000-2,000 because more than that can create a vicious cycle of gift reciprocation.
Choose a time when your neighbours are likely to be home, preferably weekend afternoon. If nobody is home, try again, but after the third attempt you should leave your gift with a note in a bag near their door or in their mailbox.
You can find lots of good info on this website: https://hikkoshizamurai.jp/useful/manners/
Good luck, and I hope you enjoy your new place!
Bro, no one is doing that anymore, don’t embarrass yourself
In an apartment just say hello when you bump into someone. We did the whole walk around with gifts thing when we bought our house and it makes sense because we’re stuck with these people for many years but don’t sweat the gifts. New neighbours gave us two toilet rolls wrapped in present paper lol
As others have said, it really does vary a lot. I went around the nearest houses in the village I was living in and gave them some nice omiyage each. This went down very well and was useful as a way of getting to know some of them.
But that was at the extreme end of inaka. There are only about 30 people living in the village I think – though at the bon odori there were maybe 50 or so dancing. I was told that people came back for Obon and that is why. It is the sort of place where the 区長 makes personal calls.
Milage also varies by the neighbourhood a lot. Even the same sized place may be different.
Having said all that, if there is a stable community around you (less likely in an apartment building, but still can be true) then many people might think it was sweet of you to do even if the fashion has fallen away. I’ve never lived in Tokyo so I really don’t know how things work there – and if you are there, maybe follow others’ advice.
In an apartment the “rule” (not that everyone follows it) is that you go to the apartments you share a wall or floor with. So if you’re on the 2nd floor and have neighbours on either side, that means you introduce yourself to those on either side and the person below. By “introduce” I mean you just say “sorry for any noise I may make” and preferably hand then some kind of sweet treat.
A gift is always welcome in Japan, so if you give them something with a card, I doubt anyone would take offense to it. They may not reciprocate it, but don’t take it personally if they don’t. From my experience, it’s usually more because they’re awkward, not because they don’t like you.
And if they don’t like you, fvck them anyway. You have done your part being corteous, if they still hold a grudge against you, they’re the assh0le, not you.
I have done it in all the apartments I rented, and my previous neighbor and I were exchanging gifts on holidays. Just by leaving a little cute package on the front door. She left one for me when she moved out.
The new neighbors took some time to introduce themselves because they were doing all the moving themselves (yes, I’m nosy), but when they were done, they brought us a simple gift and it was very much appreciated.
I wouldn’t bother in an apartment building. I’ve been in the same building for 6 years, and my neighbor on one side, I’ve seen like 2 times, and the person on the other, I’ve never once met.
If you expect to see them regularly…maybe.
We live in a mansion (condo), so we were greeted by our neighbors, but when we moved in, we were the only ones on our floor.
We’re friendly with most of the families, since we all have kids the same age.
You don’t have to introduce yourself; just bow and greet your neighbors when you see them.
These days, especially among younger generations, people often don’t introduce themselves when they move into a new place, such as an apartment.
However, if you buy a new house, it’s still encouraged to introduce yourself with a small gift.
Don’t bother if you’re in Tokyo. I share a hallway with seven other apartments. Never seen a soul. They’ll literally hang back and hide if they see me leaving our coming home.
I live in the inaka. My move in documents told me to greet people when I see them, so I greet people whenever I see someone in the area near my house. As for introducing, I only properly introduced myself to neighbors who wanted to talk to me. For example, one of my neighbors has stray cats I love to pet so I figured I should introduce myself since I spend time outside their house petting cats lol. Other neighbors just started talking to me so I properly introduced myself in those situations.
Nah mate, not a city/ apartment thing. This is a neighbourhood/田舎 thing. You don’t have to if you don’t want too.
City people are just faces.
You know when it’ll matter, during an emergency. One time our neighbor was extremely ill and her husband was on a trip. We took her to the clinic and watched her munchkins while she recovered. We hadn’t known each other beyond saying hello but we did greet them when we first moved in. Became close friends (invited them to Thanksgiving) and they reciprocated on occasion by taking care of our kids (who were older and pretty independent). When there’s an earthquake or a fire or maybe you’re just locked out of your home, knowing a few neighbors can really be helpful.
thank you guys so much for your replies!
from what i have gathered, some of you told me to definitely NOT do it and consider it an embarrassment (lol), some of you think it is an optional thing/nice gesture, and other ones think it is definitely a nice thing to do. however, most of you said it depends mostly on where i live etc.
i live in kyoto in a very small appartment complex, there are other 2 appartments on my floor.
the guy in the appartment next to me i have already seen twice, he seems to be my age or maybe a little older.
the two times i saw him i was very awkward and paralyzed bc i wasn’t prepared to see him, he greeted me with “konnichiwa” and i nervously and quietly mumbled it back, but idk if he heard me. second time was today and he was doing sth in front of his door, said something ending in “…gozaimasu” and i just bowed bc i was overwhelmed lmao.
so i really kind of wanted to make it “right” and properly say hello, sorry my japanese is not good and yoroshiku onegaishimasu or something – also considering he is about my age.
i really like being nice, polite and seeing other people smile, so that is also why i wanted to do this.
does this information change anything for you guys?
We (foreign guy, Japanese wife) have ALWAYS given small food gifts to immediate neighbors when we move in to a condo or apartment and it has always given benefits of years of good relations. How can it hurt to do it if you want to?
In an apartment? No.
If and when you get a house? Sure, but be aware you’ll need to come bearing a gift.