There’s a popular YouTuber who interviews locals primarily in Tokyo about various topics.
I was surprised to hear [this interview](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mh0qlDk-8FA) where some women said they wouldn’t consider it cheating if their if their boyfriend used a prostitute for sex. Essentially the women said that it’s purely a financial transaction and not the same as an emotional connection.
As a Westerner, I was surprised and rather shocked. I’m wondering if others feel that same or if this is simply an accepted part of Japanese culture carried over through the centuries.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/japan/comments/16np8wh/is_prostitution_an_accepted_part_of_japanese/
17 comments
Prostitution is an accepted part of basically every culture (even the ones that claim to not accept it).
It’s the world’s oldest profession, and Japan was one of the last major countries to join the modern world, so it’s not unreasonable for Japan to have a different philosophy on prostitution compared to the rest of the western world.
18.2% allow husband/boyfriend using sexual service.
https://fumumu.net/30113/sirabee_180730_fuzoku1/
86% will not allow husband/boyfriend using sexual service
https://withonline.jp/love/around30_love/UJg3s
20-40% see using those service as cheating.
https://news.nicovideo.jp/watch/nw3991933
Those interviews might ask 100 people and only edit out 10 responses that are most controversial, shocking, and click baity, which will bring most of the views. After all, they dont have any moral or legal right to present representing and correct data. In other words, their legitimacy could be nonexistent.
It is not worth to judge the whole populace by those click hungry interviews. In addition to that, if you check, lots of those channels (semi journalistic interview) usually deal with racism in Japan, dating Japanese and other rather “gossipy” topics that attract the views.
Moreover, interviewed people don’t represent whole populace as they usually focus on a certain area like for example Shibuya, Roppongi and other places that might attract more people with certain preferences (like cheating being acceptable in their eyes and so on). While in other parts of Japan, those views could be completely different.
I showed this video to my gf (Japanese) and she was baffled at the opinions she heard in it lol
As others said, youtuber can cherry pick whatever results that get more clicks. Just like those interviews that depict every American cannot do basic math.
Also it says 風俗 which is blow job not sex.
Why interview only young women.. also what kind of fashion is that lol. As a note, this is downtown Tokyo at night so I don’t think their opinions are representative of Japan as a whole.
>if this is simply an accepted part of Japanese culture carried over through the centuries
No. At least I don’t know anyone who thinks it’s fine.
Totally – even in some of the world’s harshest “moral law” cultures, the trade is always always there, somewhere… where there’s humans, there’s prostitution basically! Idk maybe japan is just a teensy bit less hung up about it (meaning: realistic about it) than some 🤷♂️
I was in Qatar recently and was quite surprised to discover one way the ladies find their johns is by google reviewing restaurants etc with a suggestive profile pic and putting their WhatsApp along with comments like “service: 5” in the body of the review… like, if I can notice that in 4 days in the country how tf are their morality police not able to trap them in seconds? Answer: the morality police are users of these services just like any other johns anywhere else in the world and don’t wanna curb their access lol 😂
None of the japanese women I know condone that behavior. I sent links to that video and they watched and said they absolutely do not agree. One of the girls I sent it to called the people interviewed “broken”.
Is the opinion of four people considered the opinion of the Japanese people as a whole? I am puzzled
A bit more than other places, but not really. It is quite a bit safer for women to enter the trade, but they face similar stigmas and difficulties transitioning to a normal career and relationships if they want to leave.
I certainly do not want to generalize, but I found Japanese people are more realistic about the material aspect of wedding and couples and its importance. Also, there is an important part of Japanese culture which is ‘saving face’. To some extent, when you do something bad, the worse part is not the thing itself, but the fact it is known and will create shame for you and your family.
Sex work is definitely more accepted overall than in a western country like the US or Canada or UK (I know some European countries like Germany are a tad different).
NOW, before you jump on me with downvotes, this doesn’t mean anywhere near the majority are ok with it. But it’s definitely far more prevalent than in say the US. Again, not all men and many won’t admit it in a group setting, but it’s probably higher than you think.
Notice how someone posted stats below that 18% of women are ok with a partner using services? That’s actually pretty damn high. Like, you could ask 100 western women and I’d bet you get one max to say it’s ok. Also notice how 86% of women don’t allow their partner to use services but only 20-40% consider it cheating? It’s because there is some truth to the notion that compared to the west Japanese don’t necessarily so consider paying for it the same as picking up a woman normally or having a side piece. In my conversations with men (usually your typical salaryman) they don’t really ever talk about it being morally wrong or as cheating, many have just mentioned they’re scared of getting an STD and passing it on then getting found out.
I say this as a man who is older, who actually speaks Japanese well and who has been able to have some deeper relationships with Japanese guys, believe me more of them use these places than you think. No, it’s not everyone, not even a majority. But it’s more than you think
And I am prepared for all the typical Japan Reddit “well akshully” replies from 24 yo nerds with basic Japanese who want to tell me I’m wrong. I’m not. It’s really one of those Japan “ifykyk” situations. I’m not trying to brag at all, I just know the average Japanese level and integration level of a lot of the ALTs here and it’s just simply you don’t know because you’re not having more than surface-level relationships with most people here
I worked at two different companies and honestly going to “prostitutes” was just common place for after work activities. The female coworkers rolled their eyes and laughed it off. The male coworkers, virtually all Japanese, were usually married. To be honest, I know of very few Japanese guys who haven’t been to these places at least once.
Why are you shocked?
The truth is somewhere in between. While it’s not the case that EVERYONE in Japan allows hiring sexual services or courtesans in relationships, the percentage of those who do is significantly higher than in many other cultures. In other words, while it’s not true that all Japanese people cheat, it’s safe to say that the Japanese perception of sex and fidelity differs significantly from the West. However, the tolerance of sexual relationships with those who aren’t one’s partner applies mostly to men, not women. Women are much more likely expected to be sexually faithful and uphold gendered standards of sexual purity and innocence. The tolerance of men having multiple sexual relations is rooted in Japan’s patriarchal tradition of polygyny (men having multiple wives and sexual/romantic partners), which only formally ended about a century ago. In this tradition, women are not allowed the same freedom and are generally expected to be sexually chaste.