Something light hearted this morning.
We all know a certain number of Japanese people (not all before I offend some weebs) love to bring their work and home life frustrations out on small local businesses on Google maps.
What are some of the funniest and most ridiculous reasons you’ve seen stars deducted for or 1 star given?
48 comments
Not the funniest for sure. But there’s a pretty low rated restaurant in Yokohama right next to the station (not yokohama station). I think it’s something like 2.5. Most comments are complaining about the old lady working there:
– “This kind of person should never work in customer service!”
– “She threw the menu at the table and I had to pick it up myself.”
– “This place is the shame of x station.”
Funny enough people are mostly saying that the food isn’t bad. Just the old lady is grumpy. Even ratings that are mid to high also complain about her
Not Google maps but I remember a hilarious chain of negative reviews on the Uniqlo website about the pockets on a certain pair of pants being “fake” and unusable. Then finally a few reviews like “other reviews mention fake pockets but they’re fully functional, you just have to cut the threads and then you can use them.” omg. That’s when I realized one has to take Uniqlo reviews with a grain of salt because most people buying it really don’t know or care about fashion or clothes lol
After a visit to a Gulliver location (and all but running away from there), my wife and I checked the Google reviews and saw one complaining about the exact employee we were talking to with the words “とりあえずしつこい”
This is the world’s pettiest culture so it’s 100% fair game.
However, the problem with online reviews is they reflect more what a mood a person was in at a given time than anything factual about the world. It also seems that people who leave a lot of online reviews need a lot of validation as most people can’t be bothered unless prompted or bribed to do it. I don’t read many Google reviews but Amazon’s are hilarious. “Bough this thing, it’s perfect and works just as advertised. My sister has the same one. (1 star).
Yakiniku place in backwater Chiba. The food was absolutely awful.
The only review on Google:
“The coffee is good”
This one for Beer Boy in Nakameguro lol
https://i.imgur.com/PBNU0R5.png
Not Japan related at all but people have actually left reviews for the Atlantic Ocean.
The most hilarious I’ve ever read was for a one start Michelin restaurant. I don’t remember the exact phrasing but it was something along the line: “food was great, service was very thoughtful and quick, the chef even came to say hi. But there were many ugly cars in the parking lot. 1 star.”
Not anything crazy, I found a review that said I loved the food, I’d love to come back (non verbatim) and gave 1 star
Oh yeah there was another one on Amazon (for a showerhead) I found that said
‘I’m not sure if it works but fuck it 5 stars’
One I’ve seen for Yoshinoya around the corner from my house “the phone reception was weak and I couldn’t watch youtube while eating” 1 star
In some prior thread about this someone linked a local school which clearly the students had turned into a meme. There’s one review about how someone lost their mechanical pencil, and then all of the reviews since then have been jokes about losing and finding pencils, it has been going on for years.
“Cafe is awful. They expected me to make a reservation to sit down.”
Well. Yeah. If there’s a limited amount of space at a given time, then what are they supposed to do? A cafe/restaurant with infinity tables and seating is not happening.
“The smell from outside is great, I wonder if I will ever find time to eat here…” 2 stars (yakiniku)
“It was kindly explained, but my mouth hurt when the tooth was pulled out” 1 star (dentist)
“At the reception on the first floor, alcohol disinfection and temperature measurement was carried out, it’s too dangerous” 1 star (school)
Saw a one star review for a glamping site once. The content was literally “Since the facilities weren’t open yet, I give it one star.”
“The clerk is the worst”.
I remember a review for a random Lawson. the client gave 1 star because they bought ice coffee and asked the employee to put the syrup in and the syrup wasn’t stirred.
They were incensed “普通は混ぜるでしょう！” lol
Dude, use the plastic stirrer you’re given…
3rd comment on this thread but I encourage everyone to look at guarantor companies on Google Maps. Everyone fucking hates them lol
Disclaimer: I’m not justifying anything. Just a perspective.
At least on Amazon I’m sure you saw reviews or answers to questions like “I don’t know” or “I didn’t receive it yet” or “I didn’t use it”.
Sometimes, even before you get the item, especially with ones that have long delivery or are sent from abroad, amazon will send you an email like:
> Someone is asking a question about this product, help answer it!
Or generally email asking to leave a review.
A lot of people take it by heart and think someone is asking *them* a question about the product, hence a review or answer like that.
Source: work in IT support. People are generally not very bright.
Someone gave this free well dispensing fantastic spring water from Mt Fuji 3 stars because the sound of the water is too loud.
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DZe25SfsRJoy8q2v6?g_st=iw
The comment “once again, we’re not the company who hired the bus that was in the news” on some school.
Apparently there was a twitter thing where a school bus driver cut in front of the cyclist and some newspaper (?) connected the bus to the wrong (?) school.
I was looking for a place to eat lunch after 14:00, but I couldn’t find it, so I decided to go to the Vietnamese street food restaurant next door. There are three types of lunch menus that are available only from 11:00 to 16:00 on weekdays, and this time I chose one of them. I chose the standard Pho (beef), but the first thing that came out was not beef but chicken for some reason. It seems that the clerk who took the order brought it by self-judgment for some reason (laughs). By the way, it seems that there was also a night menu, but I forgot to take the picture. Also, in the showcase inside the store, Vietnamese-related ingredients and sweets were sold.
4 stars
​
Response from the owner
Hello. I am the owner. Our shop is a cafe, so if you’re a fan of Pho, you were probably next door. Excuse me, but I would appreciate it if you could delete it [the review]. Thank you for your kind support.
Some funny reviews come up when you search for ピンサロ on google maps and read the reviews. Some people are really serious about them lol.
House in Yokosuka had a review that said “plastic garbage lives here”
That house belongs to Shinjiro Koizumi, son for the former PM and former cabinet minister
One review of a convenience store complained that the clerks were talking to each other. Petty as hell, says more about the reviewer than anything
I was looking for a good lady clinic and encounters one review I thought was stupid. The woman said the doctor and the nurses were very professional and nice but the girls at the reception were cold and didn’t smile at her. She also said that because of these girls the clinic lost the precious patient aka her. 🤦🏻♀️
Luxury hotels receive such petty reviews sometimes, usually regarding the service(接客). I mean, you pay a high price and that’s understandable, but some people leave 1 star reviews for the smallest of things such as how the staff used the wrong words, how staff greeted them from a high ground, how the desert was not a seasonal fruit, whatever. Review topic usually contains 残念でした or ありえない.
I was trying to find a 神社 I had passed by on a random walk a while ago on Google Maps so I could visit it again.
Someone had left a 1☆ review and called the shrine out because apparently, they sold him a faulty o-mamori 💀 I think it was for driving safety and he crashed his car a few days after??
Poor guy seemed very worked up and almost personally offended that they would sell something like that to him…
The reviews for local high schools are always funny. I’ve seen one star reviews along the lines of “there are too many students on the train in the morning. They make the train too crowded.” Or “a student in this school’s uniform did not say good morning to me.”
I found couple of reviews for the 7-11 I go to in Minato-ku, it was pretty funny but not in a good way.
They read something along the lines of “Foreign clerks speak in a language that sounds like he’s not from Japan ” – 1 star
And a bunch of other reviews that demean the foreign clerk in that particular 7-11.
And an other one,
“ A female clerk is obsessed with cleaning and said thank you in a feeble voice ?
I would love to come back again as the place is clean” – 1 star
And an other one,
“The sound of the chair shifting is annoying, the customers are not educated ” – 1 star
5 stars at the Nikko Botanical Gardens:
‘I did not know. Such a large botanical garden full of nature. The name of the flower was also easy to understand on the information board. The edges of the pussy were also beautiful. I went there because I was attracted to Tomitaro Makino, who is doing a morning drama.
It was helpful to get salt at the reception when exterminating Yamabiru. thank you very much.”
Might want to check out the subreddit called “reviews by” and then finish that with an r-word that’s no longer kosher to use.
Granted, it’s mostly English reviews, but the same kind of stuff people seem to be looking for here.
I saw a 1 star review for a restaurant near me that said “didn’t go in to eat but someone was smoking outside. Smelled bad when I passed them on the sidewalk.” 1/5
I’ve seen a 1 star review for a school because someone saw a student from that school sleeping. Not at the school mind you, just somewhere else in town. Apparently students from a good school wouldn’t fall asleep in public.
Japanese Google reviews are indeed a weird place!
Look at a reviews for schools around your area, especially JHS and SHS. They are hilarious. “Students smell bad on train.” – 1 star. “Teacher looks tired but I think they are doing their best” – 1 star
Theres a small town in Fukui called Obama, and has a hilariously bad statue of President Obama.
Most the reviews are complaints that it doesn’t look like him.
Reviews around the town are golden too.
Obama Park: “where obama?” – 1 star
Obama Castle: “Mr President was nowhere to be seen” – 1 star
I just read one that was obviously just a weird translation but he gave the Hard Off 1 star because the manager “constantly changes the opening time and licks the customers” lol
Saw this 1 star review in English for a ramen place in Tokyo a while back: “People were slurping!”
https://preview.redd.it/wn32pjkcvdqb1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41ee88532fbe165268b3882d079a17d8cd98a64a
There’s another one from the same store where the cashier was laughing with a friend so the guy has a full Karen meltdown and threatens everyone at the store because the cashier was laughing at him apparently.
Not a funny review per se but I’ve left a few for small town restaurants in my prefecture (hole in the wall style places with no advertising) and then heard from the owners that they’ve had a sudden influx in customers from other prefectures showing them my reviews.
I’m the exact opposite of an influencer so find it pretty hilarious (Google pings me to say they’re getting way more views that anything I’ve ever posted in Australia too – which generally get maybe 1 or 2 clicks max). I think there’s a bit of gaijin privilege going on there.
I recently found on Google maps some reviews of a kind of competitor (big company, operating only B2B).
Average was around 3.5.
The people who liked working there gave the company 4stars.
Others wrote that “the business culture has changed for the worse recently – 2stars”, “I can’t work here anymore – 1star”.
I really wonder what motivated to write it on Google maps of all places…
It’s only useful if you plan to work there…
Location convenient. Good stock. The doors aren’t automatic. 1 star
There was a foreigner on the phone in the store. 1 star
The cashier had a high-pitched voice, you should use self check-out. 1 star
One for a hotel/spa resort.
“No staff in parking lot” 1 star
It’s a normal open air free for all parking lot…
“Bath should’ve been clear but it was cloudy like a bath on the second day” – 1 star onsen review
But that was just the water type for this particular onsen. It’s cloudy and will always be cloudy.
Not maps but amazon, colored contact lenses. 1☆ review because “one of the lenses looks weird so i returned” it, with picture uploaded. One of the lenses was inside out i laughed so much
Saw a really great review and the reviewer even mentioned everything was perfect, that they are giving perfect stars.
4/5
Not a review but a response. I gave a decent review to the place but mentioned that they be careful about repeatedly asking all non-Japanese customers about their home country and what they do for a living and why they came to Japan; it’s well-intentioned but annoying and seems a little intrusive especially since they’re doing it to permanent residents who are, for all intents and purposes, *home*.
The response:
“Thank you for coming! Please visit us again when you come back to Japan!”
Universities getting one star reviews because students hang out around the area.
I have a huge stash of screenshots somewhere, as does my husband. Sadly I can’t remember any and I have a new phone.
But 90% of the humor comes from the inane repetitiveness of the “funny” reviews. They’re always complaining about no parking lots and the staff having bad attitudes lol.