Tired of my country thinking about moving to Japan with husband to start a new life. Advice?

4 comments

1. This is a copy of your post for archive/search purposes.

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   **Tired of my country thinking about moving to Japan with husband to start a new life. Advice?**

   I’m from Spain, husband Japanese.

   Since I gave birth to our daughter 3 months ago I hate it here. The people is extremely noisy and aggressive, bureaucracy drives us crazy, healthcare is free but not as good as it used to be, getting a well paid+good condition job is a joke, renting somewhat impossible if you are not willing to pay the same amount of income you get. Racism :). People drives like crazy. No sense of security while going out at night. Public transport.

   I know this happens everywhere in different levels but I’m thinking about our daughter future and honestly don’t know what to do. Living here also doesn’t makes me happy, not enough nature to enjoy around. Summer in the south is becoming hell and we almost don’t go outside anymore. Also my husbands mother is old already and I’m afraid something may happen while we are here. I have no family attachment+ friends live in different countries so moving won’t make a big difference besides the culture and language.

   For people that started their family in Japan, any advice? How are you doing and what would you like to change or what do u miss? What do you regret and what made you happy to move?

   TYSMIA.

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2. A couple questions if I may:

   1) have you ever visited Japan prior? It might be good to come here for a few months and get a feel. Being a tourist and living here are often two different things.

   2) does your husband want to come back? Moving can put a big strain on a family between compromises, challenges like making friends, and finding fulfilling work.

   3) what kind of skills and qualifications will you be bringing here if you plan on working? As others may have already told you, depending on the industry **and** your experience level, you could be facing a heavily saturated market. Job conditions vary. Depending on where you work it can be a _very_ Japanese style company.

   4) how do you feel about your command of the Japanese language? Along with point 3 but it could hinder your ability to find a job in your field. Check out some job postings just to get a general feel. Luckily you don’t necessarily need to find a job that will take care of visa sponsorship since you will be on your spousal visa which is quite a nice!

   5) salaries are generally lower here. It doesn’t seem as though you have any designs to move back. Given the state of the yen in relation to the euro, if you were to work here then bring the money back home, it would probably be comparable to the wages you are leaving behind unfortunately. If you keep your money in Japan however it might be better.

   6) you mention how bureaucracy is frustrating in your home country. I don’t know how Japan stacks, but it is notorious for frustrating bureaucratic work flows. I.e. you can’t open a bank account without having a phone number but you can’t open a phone number without a bank account. These types of situations. All I’m saying is, you may be in for some frustrations here as well.

   7) I’m not sure about in Spain but apartments tend to be quite small especially in a city like Tokyo. Space is a premium commodity. What you’ll be able to afford will depend on your income which goes back to your skills and qualifications. Maybe take a look at some properties in the area in which you will settle in.

   8) you mentioned that your mother in law is getting on in her years. Where abouts does she live? (You don’t have to tell me) but it would be a good idea to ask your husband what the area is like. This can also limit job opportunities, access to education for your young one, but also, if it’s too far from a community you can get along with, you might feel quite isolated. Even people in Tokyo can feel isolation even though the population density is quite high. Of course there are varying degrees to this.

3. Do you have kachingggggg money? If you have money, you can do whatever you want any time you could even go to fifth Avenue and sleep all day in a hotel for years.

   If you have no money, back to reality.

4. I lived in Spain as a teen, moved from Sweden. Then moved back to Sweden for some of the reasons you stated and finished HS in Sweden. 15 years later I moved to Japan with my wife and baby. Compared to Spain, Japans quality of life is much higher. The downside would arguably be a much more difficult social life. I found it easy to make superficial friendship with many different people. However, generally speaking, the loudness, the lack of consideration, racism and education system were factors that made me go back to Sweden.

   I have a first hand experience with the culture and it clashed. I never managed to adapt. So far, I’m here a year soon. It’s still a honeymoon phase but I can look back and objectively compare Japan to Spain and I personally believe that the quality of life is higher in Japan. I’m speaking for myself after all. I had acquaintances from Spain that left Japan due to the language barrier and lack of social life. If you don’t think that these points will be any issues, I strongly suggest to give Japan a try for a year or two and see how you and your family likes it. Best of luck!