It seems like every time I tell a Japanese person my job, they want to know my salary. Even people I’m not close with! I’ll admit, I don’t have typical job, so I understand their curiosity. Not that I care to ask anyone, but what’s cultural acceptable for talking about one’s salary? Does everyone do it, or only with people your age and below?
36 comments
It’s rude. Ask them how much they make.
If you want to and who you’re talking to wants to, sure why not. I’ve never been asked my salary without me first showing interest talking about my personal finances. Maybe you’re giving them an opening and you’re not aware you’re doing it.
That being said I think when someone realizes your income or net worth is drastically higher than theirs they are less worried about offending you by asking because it’s unlikely you will lose face talking about it.
Most people I’ve met here are quite hesitant to talk about their personal finances besides broad complaining about prices rising and what not. The ones that do often want to only do so one on one with me and not in a group.
In 10 years I’ve never been asked about my salary. But I don’t go out of my way to meet new people tho.
In 15 years of casual interactions with people, the only person who ever asked me about money was my wife and it was always about why am I not making enough of it
I don’t think anyone (besides the tax people and the immigration bureau when I applied for permanent residency) has ever asked me how much money I make since my move to Japan in 1989, and that includes my then-wife-to-be and earlier paramours.
I work at a restaurant, we had a slow day last week so it was just my boss and I at one point. We were having a conversation about how the yen is cheap and what not at the moment, when he suddenly mentioned the 売上 from last month and how much he spends in ingredients, I was kinda shocked he revealed that much info about the business to me, a baito peasant.
I hate that .. and even others foreigners do it ( how many Koma do you have? ). .. it’s no body’s business.. I just say ‘enough’. And change the subject
I honestly don’t mean to offend anyone but I have never really get why talking about salary is rude in the first place? It’s one of the things I have always been taught and so I don’t just go around talking to random people about salary but also never really feel that strongly about salary.
Its funny how people here are arguing as to why you shouldn’t and “ugh they shouldn’t even ask”. A lot of the time it’s a great indication to see if YOU’RE being paid enough for your work.
Specific salary? I dunno that seems a little too private and direct unless maybe their drunk at an izakaya in which case what happens at izakaya stays at izakaya lmao
I do get asked about a range of how much I make when I talk to friends of friends who are in different fields. It’s always followed by a “that is, if you’re comfortable sharing”which I am. It’s usually because they are burnt out with their jobs and maybe considering a shift or they are tourists living abroad and they just want to learn about well people get by. Also the company and the work I do generally seems to interests people. Other than that the only other person who knows my salary is my partner(non-Japanese) and her folks and that was after deciding whether or not to live together and expectations because that’s important I felt that we knew each others salary. Her father was a little more direct which from reading the room her and her mother had the look on their face like the question could have been asked more tactfully but I get it. It’s his kiddo who may be living with some dude who does work in something that’s different from his analogue field of work. I’m that case I was more than happy to share any details with them.
I did have one interaction which left a bad taste in my mouth. It was a maybe unknowingly shitty comment by the dependent of a developer who was here doing the whole digital nomad thing pre Covid. Basically she said “Omg, that is incredibly low, you know we make almost triple that! how do you possibly live?” Now it’s important to note that she doesn’t work…aside from managing a shit instagram page with all the basic bitch starter package photos (you know that stupid fucking POV shot where the girl looks back towards the camera in that, let me take you on an adventure then? Yeah that corny ass doodo), she didn’t seem to work. So technically her cuck husband brings in almost triple but I’m just triggering myself at this point.
To end, I don’t tend ask what people make. I just don’t really have a need for that information. The only time is when talking to people in my field who have specific skills or work for a specific employer and that’s really just a range to get an idea of how much the company pays or the value of certain skills.
It’s not rude. I get asked all the time and I also ask them. I’m also a recruiter who analyzes and negotiates people’s salaries.
The whole “asking or sharing your salary is rude” thing was instilled in people so that corporations can keep people’s salaries as low as possible.
Some companies will even attempt to for you if you share your salary.
Is an old and outdated practice.
So share your salary so others are aware if they are being underpaid and taken advantage of. And if you’re underpaid you will have a better understanding of your market value.
It’s a common question in Korea and Japan. If you don’t think it’s a common question or get asked, you are not local enough.
I don’t think so. Depending on context it helps me filter shallow people out of my life.
I get asked a lot what my rent is.
When I use to work at a Japanese company it was a big company with life time employment and seniority. Basically everyone made the same amount depending on how many years you worked at the company. That made it easy to talk about money because everybody made 10% of each other with the difference being performance reviews. We lived in the same company housing so even our housing expense were similar.
Then I moved to a foreign company, where no one talks about money, but all my Japanese friends still ask me how much I make now and if I’ve been layed off yet.
Mixed experiences. “We don’t talk about it”, but then also openly discussing gensen docs at work…
Call me crazy but I never saw how it was rude at all, unless you have a “more expensive = better” mentality. Someone asked me how much I made and when I told them they were shocked at how low i was being underpaid and gave me great advice. anecdotal sure, probably wont happen like that for everyone.
It’s not just Japanese, it’s typically a lack of awareness of Asian people in general. You just need to say you cannot give them an answer, as it is a very personal matter. They cannot push, as you are a foreigner after all
I think you just need to feel it out and use common sense. If they’re your ride or die friends obviously talking about money leads to the friends with higher income trying to hook up the ones with lower income.
If you make more money than someone else and you’re not trying to help them out or hook them up probably best not to initiate that conversation.
If someone is interested in doing the same kind of work as you and asks why not tell them? I wish I had people be more honest with me about stuff like this when I was younger.
I think it comes down to just feeling it out, like anywhere else.
No one has ever asked me about my salary In japan,not even any one I have ever dated😂
Idk, if someone asks I’ll tell them 😂
I was in a similar situation working in the subsidiary of a Japanese company. A few employees were very direct with me thinking we Westerners spill the beans about our private lives all the time, so it would be okay to ask.
I found it effective to do what many Japanese do when asked something a bit intrusive: answer the question with a distanced, vague answer that sounds polite but sets a boundary. Very effective. Examples:
*Well, the economy certainly has affected salaries recently, wouldn’t you agree?*
*Oh, the Mrs. keeps wishing I would make more. What’s a salary man to do in this economy?*
*My salary? 普通. I will not ask yours because I don’t want to ask you a private question.*
*ボジボジでな。*(関西)
I think they may ask, because there’s an idea that foreigners make a lot of money. However, I’m of a belief that regardless of cultural acceptance, we should be openly discussing salary and wages so I’m open to saying my salary if it helps someone.
Ask them theirs first, then decide based on the response given.
I have unusual job as well, and in my experience, people are mostly curios. They usually ask 「珍しい仕事ですね。どれぐらい儲かるの？」I don’t think they expect specific answer, I usually answer 「まぁ、そこそこですね。」
My mother in law the other day asked me how much all my tools were than asked right after how much my new tv was… I thought it was strange, but apparently not rude to ask?
in some circles i’ve met people that do talk about it, but it was more of a way to keep up with the going rates in certain fields, like when job hunting/hopping.
They may ask, but you don’t have to answer in details. ボチボチでんな～ would work most of the times.
pilot?
It depends on which part of the country you’re in. People over in the eastern side of the nation might find it rude, but it’s normal here in Kansai. I hear folks asking これなんぼ？ quite frequently.
Iv asked twice. Once when my friend told me she was quitting her job because her live streaming was enough to feed her family. And second time was when I met a guy who was an embalmer. I normally wouldn’t ask as I don’t think it’s anyone’s business and not really an acceptable question, but I was genuinely curious for those 2.
Its never acceptable in most culture.
Meanwhile I got a coworker who willingly shared his personal information to me to help with a visa application for a business trip. It included his yearly salary, family member’s name, home address, passport number, etc. That caught me off guard.
Personally I don’t talk much about salary because it can create friction, even if it’s not explicit. What if you’re earning more than the other person doing the same job? They might smile and say I’m lucky but that could hurt.
Then again if it’s a rare career that has no semblance to mine or anyone I know I will be curious about salary
#This isn’t rocket science, it is basic EQ. Context matters and more often than not, if the conversation isn’t about industry peers/coworker pay…you’re introducing the perception of placing worth on an individual.
Yes. Would you believe there are just as many rude Japanese people as there are rude people everywhere else in the world?