Ongoing dispute in our household at the moment on whether the cost and effort for juku is worth it, looking for advice from parents that faced the same issue.
Our daughter, 6th grader, is going to juku 4 times a week which is costing us on average 70k per month. She leaves for school at 7:30am and comes home from juku at 7pm. On top of that, she is often having to study in her room until 11pm. This study routine is all being pushed by my spouse.
While of course I want the best education for my child, I don’t at all agree with these extreme levels of study. I see the stress it is causing for our daughter, she is often exhausted, missing out on hanging with friends and has pretty much withdrawn from all other extracurricular activities that she used to enjoy.
The expense of juku aside, I can’t fathom why this is necessary for a child at her age. Yet according to my wife there is no other choice if we want our child to get into a preferred highschool in our area.
Any advice or should I just begrudgingly accept this is the way things are here?
27 comments
Not really necessarly unless you want to put her private junior high school which is roughly 7% of total kids population.
She’s probably retaining maybe 1% of that information. Me personally, over-studying is just as bad as not studying enough. As in all things in life, balance is key.
For example, I’m training for a half marathon which is coming up in a month. If I run 15 km’s everyday will I be a better runner? No, most likely I will get injured as I didn’t rest enough.
Not a parent yet, but the study routine is really stressful. From my experience being in an Asian family, yes, it helped me academically, but psychologically, it really took a toll on my mental and social life, which I didn’t even realize back then.
I did attend cram school, but it wasn’t my choice; my parents pushed me, and I didn’t have a chance to talk to them about what I wanted. Maybe you should talk to your daughter and discuss it with your wife as well. Even adults should have a work-life balance.
So, she’s not going to do 中学受験(junior high school entrance exam), but going to juku 4 days a week as a 6th grader? That does not make any sense to me. Unless your kid is lagging far behind at school and need extra help( in this case, a lot of people would hire private tutors but anyways), people usually don’t send their elementary school kids to juku 4 days a week. Going to juku as a 6th grader around this time means the classes are all about entrance exam for junior high school.
From what I’ve seen it’s rote training for test questions, interview practice – something which parents wouldn’t know how to do themselves.
Kudos to your daughter for spending that much time studying, and to you for caring that it’s too much.
By the way, does your spouse work or is a housewife? And did she do the same as a child?
I’m asking to understand her thought process in this a little
Each kid has different needs/studying motivation levels. Does your daughter want to study a lot? Does she want to go to a high level high school?
My elementary school age child wants to attend a competitive Jr high. They also enjoy studying. We found a place that will help prepare for that jr high’s entrance exam. The jukus don’t all have the same study courses. i.e. some are geared to private school entrance exams, others focus on public jr or high school ones.
We are paying about 30,000/month for 1x/week, 1 on 1. So 70,000 does seem like a lot to me.
Our other kid was not very studious and hated every single juku they tried. Ultimately they were able to attend a good high school based on Eiken and recommendation from the principal. Excessive spending of money & time in juku isn’t the only way to success.
Have you asked your daughter what she wants? I see that you’re assuming she doesn’t like it because she’s tired, but anybody would be with that schedule.
I did 中学受験 and studied a lot less than your daughter. I enjoyed it because I was being bullied and school was too easy. Cram school was my escape, and it was my favorite time of the day on the days I went.
For college exams I didn’t bother with cram school. I enjoyed school, both socially and academically. (Do note that I went to a 自称進 so school wasn’t too pushy about studying and we participated in school events just like we did any other year.) I graduated at the top of my class, but I felt left out because most of my classmates went to cram schools and they had their own communities. I also felt insecure that they were getting top-notch education and had a lot more resources, whereas I was only doing things that my school gave me or my teachers recommended. I hope she isn’t feeling like that at her age but I hear the 中学受験 scene is much more intense than it was a decade ago.
All this to say, if your daughter likes going there, go for it. If not, there’s no need. If she has FOMO, maybe take her to other 習い事s and show her that cram school isn’t the only option.
But do know that some 中高一貫校 are halting their high school entrance exams – that’s what your wife might mean when she says there’s no other choice.
My best friend has a phd in linguistics.. went to Harvard .. so is very knowledgeable about studying and education .. he has 2 children and refuses to send them to Juku .. says it’s not practical for learning
Studying at a juku and learning are not necessarily the same. Jukus will do a lengthy interview, and they know the tests each school will use. One juku I know of uses a Cray supercomputer to analyze all the variables.
For getting into a private JHS, SHS (a combo school is best), or college, a juku is a must, not necessarily for learning but to know how to approach the test and pass.
Of course, some knowledge stays, but passing the test is 80% of what they study for. Source: Success several times, but it came at a cost, not all monetarily.
Personally, as an ex Juku teacher I’d say no. Most kids are forced there by parents and you can simply tell that they don’t enjoy it… and just go because they have to. Whether or not they learn anything depends on how much they enjoy the lesson.
As a parent, you should ask your daughter whether she enjoys studying at a Juku. Alternatively, I’d recommend you all as a family study the same topic at home and just save the money. It would be great bonding time too and that 70,000 you spend on Juku could be spent on family rewards for studying – like a favourite game of hers or a trip to Disneyland.. whatever motivates her. Even if it’s just an hour or so on a Saturday, I feel that’s a better solution.
You both have good intentions for your daughter, but I think a Juku is a waste of money and time.
Some Japanese mentioned to me that Juku is also a way of socialising.
So if your daughter is fine with it, I wouldn’t rock the boat too much.
I didn’t grow up in Tokyo, so the best schools were public ones, not private. So I personally only went to jyuku from junior high and absolutely appreciate my parents for letting me go. It was a community in a sense outside of school and I made good friends I still talk to 20 years later. It prepared me for the high school entrance exam with interviews and also the material as the public school didn’t cover specific entrance exam type of test questions. I personally thought it’s excessive for elementary school kids to study that late until I tutored at a jyuku for junior high entrance exam prep. The material covered in those exams are far more advanced than what they learn in school. The interviews as well won’t be taught in school. I have never met anyone who didn’t go to jyuku before doing that test. Once your kid is in, they won’t have to do an exam until college and if they gets good grades they might even get a suisen- just interviews no exams. I do think it’s worth one year grind for that. I also saw you mentioning online courses but it’s pretty hard for a grade schooler to keep the motivation to study alone with those materials. Unless you will sit with your child through all the courses and explain to them when they don’t understand, I think it will be a waste of money.
Our sixth grade daughter wants to continue juku even after she gets into the school she’s testing for because she has friends she only sees there. It definitely helped her grades which have become a point of confidence for her. I know it would be torture for some kids but she seems to like it.
Depends on your child and dilemma that they’re going with
Does she have friends in her juku? Does she enjoy studying?
Add on: what school does she want to go to? Anything in particular that she wants to do?
Remember: status is a very important thing for Asians, hence why parents force their kids for: music lessons, volunteering, clubs/circles, juku, English schools, etc., for the sake of prestige amongst their friends. It’s not about the kids, it’s about themselves. “The family” as they put it.
Do I personally think juku is necessary? Unless the child is struggling in school, not really. Allocate some of that time for her hobbies and studying at home which any child can do.
But that’s just me. Every child’s and family’s situations are different. From the sound of it, you got a bit of a stubborn fox with the backing of her family (who are a part of the problem, along with her friends, presumably). So you got yourself a bit of a hill to climb.
I recall reading that concerning piano practice, Chopin himself advocated about 40 minutes a day.
Quality over quantity.
I used to believe that late nights were a sign of how hard working and dedicated I was
I now truly believe that quality rest/sleep and a stable circadian rhythm, along with solid time management skills, is far more productive in the long run than a cycle of burn-outs and recovery. I no longer apologize for enjoying free time or 8 hrs rest, and as a consequence, the shorter work time I do have is at least as productive
Juku isn’t just for studying, it’s a good opportunity for children to socialise too, not to mention the teaching methods employed are on the whole a lot more interesting than public school.
I’m studying education and last year when visiting various schools the kids often talked about how much they enjoyed going to Juku.
It depends.
It depends on how talented your daughter is. It depends on how much she wants to go to a private school. It depends on how good (or bad) the public schools in your area are.
But I think the most important aspect is what your daughter wants. Does she have a vision of what she is working toward? Does she want to do this but is just (understandably) tired? Or is she being more or less forced into it by her mother? If she has motivation for going to juku, I think it’s well worth it. If not, figuring out what does motivate her might be more important at this stage in her life.
That being said, I see a lot of voices against juku and 中学受験 in the comments, but my personal experience as a guy who did 中学受験 in the 首都圏 area was overall positive, and I can’t thank my parents enough for supporting me.
I had friends at the juku I went to, the teachers were knowledgeable about the subjects they were teaching, and it was generally enjoyable. Yes, I did have to put in a lot of hours and it was stressful, but I was bored out of my mind at school, and the thought of having to suffer through that for an additional 3 years if I went to public middle school was a strong motivator to study. The classes at the private school I went to were challenging and stimulating, and prepared me well for university.
A different way of looking at this is that your daughter will have to take entrance exams to go to senior high anyways, and you’re just bumping up the exam date. I’m honestly not very familiar with 高校受験, but I imagine that people will start going to juku for that. 中学受験 allows her to get it over with 3 years sooner, which means she can pursue her interests without worrying about which senior high she’ll get into. The flip side of this, is that she’ll be placed more or less where she belongs academic-wise either way whether or not she does 中学受験.
Edited to add:
The classes at the public elementary school I went to were a joke, so I didn’t really feel like I was bound to a desk for most of my waking hours. I was just there to fool around with friends, do P.E., and make something in arts and crafts. It was fun, but not mentally demanding.
I’m from a country with “juku” culture and oh man, I did place in a top University but at what cost? I had a pretty similar schedule in 8th & 11th grade (for high school and uni entrance exams respectively) and although it worked, it took a toll on my mental health. They would post the results on a board (yes I’m old) for everyone to see. We would compare our test results to each other, build a good amount of resentment for the top 3, teachers would pin us against each other, there was a lot of jealousy, insecurity, self-loathing and even suicidal thoughts amongst my friends whenever they didn’t do their best in the mock exams. If anyone dropped out of top 20 in a mock exam, they would silently or sometimes very loudly have a break down in the bathroom and we would try to console them with a slice of cheap pizza. We all bonded over our juku trauma. I remember bawling my eyes out after a math exam because I thought I was genuinely retarded. Like I’m a disappointment to my family and I will end up on the streets kind of retarded. I had a mini meltdown after that exam and ventured into a self-inflicted intensive two week math and geometry marathon during which I would study until 4 am in the morning. I felt like a complete waste of skin. The teachers would ban us from having romantic relationships too. The funny thing is my parents didn’t give a single eff. My father was drunk all the time and my poor mum had enough on her plate. I did this to myself because I thought I had to.
At the end, I did place in a top uni but I wouldn’t want this shit for my child. Fuck being a 教育ママ。 There is more to life than placing in a top high school or uni. Your child still can be successful in many different ways.
I used to teach at a jyuku so I’ll give you my opinion. Most of the students go to jyuku to meet up with friends. For most of them it is/was to feel inclusive with others who go to cram schools. It was more like a club than school. On top of which, the study materials are all just recaps and just exam prep. Sure there were a few who definitely benefitted but for majority the extra education was not necessary.
Coming at this from someone who used to work in Public ES and JHS’s. Sit down and talk to your daughter about how she feels about her classes at school and how juku plays into that. If she has good teachers and is understanding the material, then juku could be redundant. If her teachers are inexperienced, or just bad, or she’s struggling with the material, then juku could help.
In my experience, Japanese teachers are less able to give extra instruction to struggling students than they are in some other countries. When I was growing up in the US, teachers would host “tutorials” a few days a week after school. Any student who felt they were struggling with the material could go in then for extra help. From what I’ve seen, juku largely fills this role in Japan.
I once worked with a first year teacher. Despite her best efforts, she still had a lot to learn about how to effectively lead a classroom. The 中3 students had been taught by a highly experienced teacher the year previously and immediately noticed the drop in quality of instruction. They started using juku to fill in what they perceived to be gaps in the education they were receiving at school.
So I would say talk yo your daughter about where she feels juku is legitimately helping and where it feels a bit redundant or overdone. Perhaps you can find a way to reduce her hours.
On a practical note, if she’s already at juku that long, what’s going to happen when she enters JHS and 部活動 becomes a factor? I’m not sure how it is at your daughter’s (future) school, but at the school I worked at all clubs practiced 5 days a week and joining one was mandatory. That juku schedule won’t be sustainable once 部活動 starts
I got my kids out of Japan to avoid this. They ended up really happy in school and now the older one wants to go to a Juku because she wants to learn more rather than because she has to.
I thought junior high schools were still residence-based (location, not testing into one)–tho if private I guess that’s easily possible.
Some private JHS are also part of a HS, so if you can test into the JHS, you kind of get a free ride (acceptance) into the HS, too (tho not always). In this system, maybe a little study now precludes much more study later. (altho it might continue)
Social life, and having it/not having it. For some kids, juku is their social world–their friends are there. It is the extracurricular activity. For others, juku is a chore, and will be a bad memory.
A personal data point. Our two never went to juku, chose the science track in HS, and both got into 国立大学 –tho the first did miss on her first try and only then studied at a juku for a year before trying again and making it.
If your daughter is already going to juku, it may be too late to “shift the course of the river”, barring some kind of tipping point.
I definitely can’t fathom the stress the Juku system brings upon kids.
As a Dutch guy we always had work life balance and studying after school used to be a quick <1h of homework and the real after school studying didn’t really start until junior high and even that was manageable.
Before that it was mostly playing outside with friends or some sports club
My wife (Japanese) in the other hand liked juku as it was a way out for her from other “forced” lessons such as Piano etc. Also her friends were in the same Juku class so I believe that could have made it bearable?
I might be on the wrong side of the fence on this and is my opinion but. Am I the only one that thinks forcing their child to this extent of education/study is a form of child abuse? Studying basically 12+ hours a day 5/6 days a week and self studying on a Sunday? My sister was forced into this routine and it killed her, quite literally, then I was ignored in terms of all education, it’s vital to find a good middle ground for it. Some people mentioned maybe 1-2 days a week, but at that point. Why not just teach the child yourself after school? You build a better connection, theres a trust that your kid can ask you questions and not worry so much etc.
I put my foot down very early and refused to put either of my kids in juku. Instead, I bought a bunch of remedial English books and did 3x a week English classes at home with them, with homework. Took about 6 hours of their life a week, cost almost nothing, and my kids were fluently bilingual. When they got to highschool, I sent them to the Temple University college prep program in Tokyo. They both breezed through the English-placement exams for US college, and are in college in the states now, and doing OK.
The money I saved from not blowing hundreds of dollars a month on useless, abusive juku I put in a savings account for their college.
I am very, very happy with these life decisions.
What blows my mind is how an elementary schooler is even awake until 11pm. I went on a field trip with some 11-12year olds before and I heard this from them as well, I was even more shocked to hear they drink coffee to stay awake! Coffee/energy drinks at that age should not be a normal everyday thing.
4 times a week is insane, especially for a 6th grader. Also, your Juku is expensive. Also, studying until 11pm is borderline abuse, this is insanity.
Your feelings are totally right, stick to your guns. Japanese schools are all basically the same outside of some random specific ones with local prestige, don’t buy into the nonsense about it mattering. As long as it’s not ‘Tokyo 17th fishery and midwifery high school’ it’s probably totally fine.