TLDR: I left Japan after 10 odd years.
I don’t hate Japan. But I was increasingly lonely and unhappy there.
Struggled to find poeple to have deep conversations with, got tired of being stared out, Japanese work place stuff got to me etc. The usual.
Felt like I’d completely lose sight of myself if I stayed. So I decided to leave, was a tough decision.
So I thought I’d be feeling horrible, but 6 months in I feel so relieved, light and happy. I feel like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders, and small things like not getting stared at and just being able to speak my own language without thinking 10 times about every word almost makes me giddy lol.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Or am I just waiting for the inevitable “I-Miss-Japan” crash?
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8 comments
Wherever you go, there you are.
Depends on where you left it for. I always miss Japan when I leave, even for a short amount of time.
You’ll probably get “I miss Japan” point sometime, I certainly have – but mostly a nostalgia infused way.
I left after 10 years (high school age through Uni-age etc.), for much the same reasons as you. And I’m not the only one I know, there are quite a few of us who ended up leaving for similar reasons.
But at the same time, I was pretty isolated when in Japan, I only ever had one person from my country in the same city – and we were in the same city for only 3 years. Last few years were a bit better, as I had plenty of foreigners and Japanese who’d lived abroad around me, but it wasn’t a permanent circle of people.
EDIT: Ah, you’re a Swede. Perhaps this is a Nordic thing.
I sometimes entertain the idea of going back to the the USA. But alas, no health insurance.
I miss it sometimes but I don’t miss the way I hated my body even though I was slim and healthy.
Yes, though maybe not extremely ‘profound’. But in short, yes. All the things that frustrated you about living in Japan, and then some, also frustrated me. As time wears on it either numbs people out to the point of not caring, or becomes increasingly frustrating and can indeed make you start to lose your sense of self.
Obviously, there’s still good things, and I miss Japan – but also remember ‘yeah, X or Y or Z was pretty shit’ and remember there was a reason it reached the point I wanted to leave.
I’ll never miss old ladies opening my rubbish bags to nosey around inside or to ‘tidy it up properly’. Or any other general citizen considering it their duty to watch and report upon any potential social norm-breaking the scallywag gaijin might commit.
I’ll never miss bullshit like a swim attendant stopping me mid-swim with rules like “zero accessories in the pool because it might discolor your jewelry” – “I don’t care if it discolors, it’s mine” – “But it is a rule so you must remove it” – while ignoring the groups of old men or women who stop at the end of each lane to chatter, hock a logie, and generally get in the way despite the rules saying they can’t do this.
I’ll never miss literally being mid-fever with a flu and feeling like I might collapse, trying to explain that I shouldn’t be going to work to infect others, and being told “…nnnn… faito!!!”. Like, yeah, nah bro, I’m gone.
I left after 7 years in Japan for Australia. The whole experience made me appreciate Sydney’s culture diversity, great food, higher salary, better work culture, beautiful nature, friendly people who don’t bombard you with that fake tatemae bullshit and a ton of other things I’m forgetting.
The only thing I miss is quality sushi. Everything else is just way better here. Wife and I don’t miss living in Japan at all.
Relationship with Japan can be very odd at times. It’s crazy to see reactions that range in between complete rejection and unparalleled love depending of the person.