I’ve just joined a circle at my university, with the primary goal of getting chances to use my Japanese and make friends. My Japanese is upper N2/lower N1 level, and in one-on-one conversations I have very little trouble understanding and contributing to the conversation. However, my being autistic means that making conversation with new people and contributing to group conversations comes very unnaturally to me. Everyone in the circle is lovely, and I understand that they’re probably just as nervous to make conversation with me as I am with them, but I find myself not knowing what to say or how to make conversation with people – I get past the “What å¦éƒ¨ are you in?” “How long have you been doing this sport?” but further than that it seems to turn to silence, or the focus turns to a group discussion where I have no idea how to insert myself. Everyone there is already friends, so I feel silly asking the classic ‘get to know you’ questions while everyone is already past that stage with each other. I’d really like some advice on how to better contribute to group discussions/make conversation/make friends because I feel really silly kinda just sitting in silence. It’s not like I’m waiting for people to make the first move I just genuinely don’t know what to say to get the ball rolling! Please help
​
TLDR; autistic, having trouble making conversation in my university circle
2 comments
I assume since it’s a circle you’re doing some sort of activity— so can you talk about that activity?
Like, you can ask someone questions about what they’re doing, comment about how you’re finding XYZ really difficult (like in a fun casual way), ask them if the club has ever done ABC before, comment about how in your country the drills are normally done in a different way, etc.
It may be easier to get conversations going when talking about the circle activities as it’s not just about exchanging personal background info.
Autist here. First make paragraphs while typing.
Honestly the thing that helped me most was my fathers advice.
When moving to a new place learn what sport is popular.
I’m now a Hanshin tigers fan and many convos revolve around which baseball team or why don’t you like baseball?
The no baseball people it’s easy to ask well then tell me about what you at into. The baseball people just talk about baseball.
Then when I get close to someone I tell them about how into trains I am
(Dm me anyone if you can get some pics of FruiTea cause I’ll be out of country)