Am I crazy? Married, mother of two, looking at job applications in Japan

Edit: Thanks for the comments, everyone! I didn’t get quite as eaten alive as I expected from the redditors. I appreciate you (well most of you) going easy on me. It’s possible that all I need is another vacation to Japan to get this out of my system!

I’ve always wanted to teach English in Japan. I know it’s the “bottom of the barrel” but I don’t care. I am looking at jobs at universities and feel like I qualify and this could potentially happen.

I got my bachelor’s degree in east asian studies, minor in Japanese, and studied there in Nagoya for a semester. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I didn’t do the JET program after graduating. Instead I got my masters in TESOL. I taught esl at my university for a few years. Then I got a second masters in instructional design and that’s what I work in now. It’s a comfy work from home job. I’ve since pretty much “solidified” my life by getting married, having kids, and owning a home.

But maybe like five times a year, I have a dream that I’m living in Japan and its like, so nice. Call me a weeb all you want lol.

My kids are 4 years and 6 months. I feel like working in Japan for, idk, a year or three could be a really cool adventure for them. My husband is being a super realist. He wants to be a stay at home dad while i work, but realistically… What do we do with our house? Our stuff? We are stuck in the grind. Is this something that someone in our situation can even do? Would it mess up our job prospects when we return to the US?

Anyone else been in this situation? Is it crazy? I honestly might just apply to jobs and see what happens!

Edit for clarification: my kids are 4 *years* and 6 months lol they are not 2 months apart

14 comments
  1. This is a copy of your post for archive/search purposes.

    **Am I crazy? Married, mother of two, looking at job applications in Japan**

    I’ve always wanted to teach English in Japan. I know it’s the “bottom of the barrel” but I don’t care. I am looking at jobs at universities and feel like I qualify and this could potentially happen.

    I got my bachelor’s degree in east asian studies, minor in Japanese, and studied there in Nagoya for a semester. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I didn’t do the JET program after graduating. Instead I got my masters in TESOL. I taught esl at my university for a few years. Then I got a second masters in instructional design and that’s what I work in now. It’s a comfy work from home job. I’ve since pretty much “solidified” my life by getting married, having kids, and owning a home.

    But maybe like five times a year, I have a dream that I’m living in Japan and its like, so nice. Call me a weeb all you want lol.

    My kids are 4 and 6 months. I feel like working in Japan for, idk, a year or three could be a really cool adventure for them. My husband is being a super realist. He wants to be a stay at home dad while i work, but realistically… What do we do with our house? Our stuff? We are stuck in the grind. Is this something that someone in our situation can even do? Would it mess up our job prospects when we return to the US?

    Anyone else been in this situation? Is it crazy? I honestly might just apply to jobs and see what happens!

    *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/movingtojapan) if you have any questions or concerns.*

  2. Not much to contribute but thought I would recommend r/internationalteachers. With your credentials and experience, you could make maaad money in the international schools.

  3. Teaching English typically pays less than $1700 usd per month in Japan. If you bring dependents, they can’t work (your husband), and technically working remotely on a dependent visa is illegal so we can’t advise about that. People can barely sustain themselves on the teaching salaries, I don’t know how it would be possible for a family of 4.

  4. > I’ve always wanted to teach English in Japan. I know it’s the “bottom of the barrel” but I don’t care. I am looking at jobs at universities and feel like I qualify and this could potentially happen.

    You’re a grade above most English teaching jobs that are discussed on this sub and elsewhere on Reddit. You seem to actually have relevant university-level English teaching experience and relevant credentials, while most other people are looking at “Assistant Language Teacher”-type jobs (which often don’t include much _actual_ teaching responsibilities). Those jobs don’t require any qualifications beyond “have a bachelor’s degree” (and generally “be a native English speaker”), and even that is just because that’s a visa requirement and not a job requirement. Keep that in the back of your mind when looking for information on the internet.

    That aside, there are some other things to consider.

    > My kids are 4 and 6 months. I feel like working in Japan for, idk, a year or three could be a really cool adventure for them.

    One thing to take into account is that your 4-year-old will need to go to school. Kids can pick up a new language incredibly quickly, but it will likely still be hard on them to be uprooted like this. I would _strongly_ consider how this hypothetical move (and the move back to the US after a couple of years) would affect your kids beyond “it would be a really cool adventure for them”.

    > My husband is being a super realist. He wants to be a stay at home dad while i work

    Your husband (and kids) would hold a dependent visa, which would allow him to work up to 28 hours per week (after having requested permission from the immigration department). Unless he qualifies for his own working visa he wouldn’t even be able to have a fulltime job. Given that you have small kids, him staying at home (for at least a while) seems realistic. But take into account that living in a foreign country as a stay-at-home parent can be incredibly socially isolating. You don’t mention his language proficiency, but that will definitely exacerbate such things. Depending on his Japanese proficiency it’d also be difficult for him to find a job after a couple of years, if he were so inclined.

    > What do we do with our house? Our stuff?

    That really depends on how much you want to sever your ties with the US. You could rent out your house or sell it. You could store most of your stuff somewhere (storage unit, relatives) or sell it. It really depends on your specific circumstances. How likely are you to move back to your current location? How is the job market in that area? How are real estate prices developing there? Do you even have enough money saved up to afford this move without having to sell your house?

    > Would it mess up our job prospects when we return to the US?

    As someone that’s not in the field of language education I don’t think your job prospects would be affected too much, but your husband might be a different story. Without knowing what he does, not working for multiple years will obviously affect his career progression. But that’s not too different from being a stay-at-home parent in the US.

    > Anyone else been in this situation? Is it crazy?

    To be honest it does sound a little “out there” to me to first build up a life with a family and kids, and to then uproot all of that because you want to go live in Japan for a bit. I don’t know you at all, but this does give me minor vibes along the lines of “I’m unhappy with my current life and have been idealizing the time I spent in Japan when I was younger”. That might be inaccurate (because again, I don’t know you), but I would reflect on why you keep having this “dream” of living in Japan.

    Another thing to consider is that salaries in Japan are generally lower than in the US. That’s not generally a problem while living in Japan, but it will affect how much you’ll be able to save and/or pay into a pension scheme during that time.

  5. It’s actually not crazy with your qualifications.

    The family situation is the most complex aspect of it.

    Rather than years long move, It might be worth it to stay in Japan on a tourist visa for 3 months and live out of airbnbs just to see how your children (especially 4 year old) takes to being expats.

    This would give you a chance to explore different areas beyond just the tourist attractions and get some sense of what life might be like.

    I’d also recommend doing the same in other countries just for perspective.

    I also find myself yearning for living in a few other East Asian countries after getting a small taste of them, but for me 3-6 months at a time is usually enough to scratch that itch.

    Visas, taxes, relocations and all those logistics are a nightmare, so I understand wanting just move but it’s risky because you might end up in a situation where your partner or children hate living in Japan.

    Better to visit first as a family. Regardless you have what it takes to live here if you so choose so it’s not a question of IF you can move to Japan because you absolutely can, it’s SHOULD you move to Japan, and if so how long?

    Personally I’m happy here and I imagine you would be too but I think it’s fair to your family to let them experience it first and other places so they have their own baseline for comparison.

  6. Is your husband supportive of this and capable to work legally in Japan? You seem to be making this all about your dreams and your life, when you have 3 others that need to be supported..

  7. So, it’s not entirely crazy if the job and salary makes sense and your husband is okay being a SAHP.

    I work at a university, but I do not teach English. I will say that it is very competitive for the full-time English teaching positions. But obviously you have some experience and a graduate degree so that helps.

    I think the biggest thing question will be education/childcare. Your eldest will likely be in the elementary school age range around when you move (yochien or “kindergarten” is from ages 3-5, academic year begins in April). In principle they should be attending school as elementary school is compulsory, but some expat parents home school and the government often looks the other way. Another option is international schools, but those come with a steep price tag for the reputable ones (and honestly they’re still pretty pricey for the non reputable ones).

    Your youngest could in theory go to hoikuen, but might not qualify due to not having two working parents. There’s kind of a point-based system to qualify since the need is so great, and having two kids will help, but no guarantees.

    But if your husband is willing to be a SAHP and your salary can support three dependents, you’re in much better shape.

    I made the move with a 2 year old and my husband and it’s worked out fine so far. She’s in her second year of yochien and has generally settled in nicely. Sure there are issues, but some of that is just normal kid stuff. It does help that I’m fairly fluent. My husband is in a similar position as a sorta SAHP, and since he came with zero Japanese it has been very isolating. However, we’ve made a big push to get him connected to the community (he’s now a volunteer fire brigade member, has a group of gaming friends, and takes karate classes), and that has helped.

  8. The wage isn’t enough to support a family. Really. If you want to live here so badly I’d suggest getting a teaching license through Moreland University or MTEL or Sunderland or TeacherReady. Then coming over to have a career.

  9. Everyone keeps talking about your qualifications but you really don’t have any that would get you past your standard ALT position despite being overqualified for it on paper. You *might* be able to do university equivalent work given your degrees and experience, but positions at universities – even lower ranked ones – are extremely competitive and frankly don’t pay all that much better than ALT gigs most of the time unless you’re tenured.

    TL;DR:

    Get your teaching license before considering moving here and you’ll be competitive for international schools which is realistically what you should be shooting for at this point in your career.

  10. You can make it happen. Just know that Japan teaching jobs pay terrible. You’d make around 2k net on average, maybe 3k monthly if you’re lucky. That’s nothing with a family of 4… It will fuck up your US prospects down the line the longer you stay. I’d suggest doing a non teaching job in Japan such as in finance or marketing. They pay more and make more sense for a long-term career move.

  11. Also, you get paid in local currency, which today is at an all-time low for the yen. In just 3 years, it has depreciated from around 110 to 150 per usd, which is terrible. Keep this in mind if you do end up moving to Japan. I would highly recommend your husband finding work too and not just being a stay at home parent. Otherwise, your family will struggle financially living in Japan.

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