25F and been staying in Japan for the past 3 years. Forgive my English because it’s not my native language. I’m originally from Western Europe. Moved to Tokyo in April and have been in my current apartment since.
This Japanese (59y.o) guy who is my next-door neighbor has been really kind and helpful to me, ever since I moved in. Found out later he’s divorced and got a son who’s 31y.o I think. One time, he said he wanted me to meet his son, who’s apparently single, in a restaurant not far from where we live. Turned out later that the son is not there, he made some excuse that son needed to do something (which at first I believed) so we ended up having dinner together. He invited me again recently using the same reason and I declined politely, but he insisted. Later on he admitted his son won’t actually join and that he only wants to go out with me. He practically begged so I said yes. This happened last weekend, btw. We had lunch, and he asked to go to karaoke near our apartment. I got drunk quite quickly and later on found myself making out with him. I tried to stop and insisted I wanna go home. He eventually stopped kissing me and we left. But when we reached the door on his apartment, he tried to get me to go inside. I said no but he pushed and pulled me really roughly. I was in shock and was not physically strong enough to defend myself so I fell on the floor near his genkan. He closed the door and locked it. Idk if I described that correctly but I wasn’t able to get out of his apartment. He continued kissing and groping me, and proceeded to do things I didn’t like. I was sexually assaulted. I was in his room until Sunday evening, and he said to not bother calling the police cause they can’t and won’t help me. That they won’t believe me and that he knows my Japanese isn’t good enough. Is that true?
I called in sick the whole week and I’ve just been crying. I only told this to a handful of my friends and they’re all advising me to find another apartment. I can’t right now cause I just moved this year from Fukuoka and it was’t exactly cheap and easy. I’ve been meaning to call the police, but what if nothing happens? I’m scared that he’ll do something dangerous to me cause of that.
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EDIT: Thank you all for the replies and sound advice. I’m planning to call my embassy on Monday and seek their help. The few friends I have are in Fukuoka and some have returned to their home countries so I have no choice but to stay here for now. I also took pictures of the scratches and bruises I got, but no receipts or text messages for proof.
27 comments
go to the police. Doesnt matter if you can speak japanese or not them take SA seriously especially you show signs of SA like bruises or scratches. Police now;!!
Call the police. Prepare a statement get it google translated. That pos deserves to be locked up and key thrown aaway
I would go to the actual police station and file a police report. It’s sexual assault and it needs to be reported. Tell them that you are afraid he will do something further. They will at the very least send some officers down to question him etc.
Maybe also inform your management company and file a report with them ?
If you can stay with a friend for a while, that would be for the best as well.
Go to a police station, do not go to a police box.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I know it’s expensive to move but I would really suggest doing so. Could you get a loan from someone if you can’t afford it at the moment? You deserve to feel safe in your home and neighborhood and you won’t be able to from now on. Also I agree you should go to a police station and report it if you can (no pressure if you can’t bring yourself to do it) preferably after you move for your safety but I’m not sure if it will be an issue reporting jt later.
Go to the main police station for your ward, and tell them you want to report a sexual assault. The laws recently changed, and they no longer require proof that you tried to fight back, and more importantly, they recognize that getting someone intoxicated to facilitate a sexual assault is a crime – and dragging you into his flat and locking the door is kidnapping.
Go as soon as you are able, and ideally bring a friend who has a good level of spoken Japanese, but the police DO have interpreters on call, and they will very likely have someone available in your primary language.
If you have any bruises, scratches or other injuries, photograph them ALL, if you haven’t already.
Be sure to very specifically mention that you are afraid that he will try to retaliate.
Good news for you is that the karaoke place will have footage of what went on in the room, which will corroborate your side of things.
really sorry you went through this, awful
Police now
This is awful, I’m sorry you went through this 🙁 please report it to the police station and as soon as you save up enough money MOVE immediately
Go to police and your embassy! This is serious
Wait… The old dude did this? The hell, go to the police. This is not a Reddit thing.
First of all, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please, please, please go to the police. Like the others have said, translators such as Google Translate and DeepL would work. If you really feel like they won’t help, would you happen to have anyone you know who is fluent in both Japanese and your native language/English? Please enlist their help, any good friend would not hesitate to help.
Please do this for your own sake and other women’s as well, as you don’t know what he might do in the future. Especially the former; considering you can’t move anytime soon as you mentioned, you need to have some sort of protection in place such as the police knowing you reported him once.
EDIT: Before you go to the police, please do gather as much evidence as you can to help strengthen your case. Messages exchanged between you, receipts from the times he invited you out, pictures of bruises/wounds, anything.
Please do not seek him out…but if you happen across him again, maybe you can try to bring up the topic of what happened and record the conversation as a form of evidence or admission to strengthen your case? Though IANAL and do not know much about Japanese law.
Omg fuck this guy… How horrible. Police and embassy!!!
The police have professional interpreters/translators available. I’m so sorry for what happened to you.
Police asap, feel free to ask someone you feel confortable if you need assistance. Otherwise, someone from your country’s embassy, or from a help organization can assist you.
As everybody already stated:
1- Go to the police (110), if you can’t communicate, they will probably call an interpreter (avoid kobans and try different police stations if you find any resistance). Don’t be ashamed, it isn’t your fault and you can ask to talk to a female police officer if you prefer this way, also please insist on getting a police report number, call your embassy if needed (call them anyway, they definitely should be able to assist you with info/resources!):
2- Go to the hospital (119) to check for injuries and the possibility of STI/HIV/pregnancy;
3- Contact one of the Sexual Assault Resource Centers in Japan:
*SARC Tokyo 24-hour Hotline: 0120 8891 77 or 03 5607 0799
*Tokyo Rape Crisis Center: 03 3207 3692
*Sexual Assault Crisis Healing Intervention Center (Osaka): 072-330-0799
*Yorisoi Hotline: 0120 279 338
*Asian Women’s Center Helpline: 092 513 7333
*Women’s Human Rights Hotline: 0570 070 810
*National Speed Dial that connects to the nearest one-stop support center from the calling location: #8891 (Call 03 5607 0799 if the speed dial doesn’t work)
*Hokkaido Police Sex Crime Helpline: #8103
You’re stronger than what you think and you will get the help you need.
From what you’ve shared here going to the police seems right for you.
And at the same time these are some of the things I’ve heard may happen from women on Reddit who have been raped here in Japan, so that you’re prepared:
1. the police may ask what you’ve been wearing, how much alcohol you had etc and seem to seek evidence that you are to “blame”
2. They are likely to ask you to literally reenact the traumatic events and take photos of you
3. They may come back repeatedly to ask questions over and over and sometimes in a hostile way, as though you are the criminal. conversely they may leave you in the dark and not update you for weeks with nothing happening
4. If this is his first criminal offence if it goes to court he may be let go without apparent penalty. This may feel like the court doesn’t believe you, but it’s more that Japanese courts let people mess up once. If he has done anything criminal before he’ll have a very, very different experience
This is purely intolerable.
OP leave some SOS tag. Let some of our reddit heroes DM you and call Fukuoka police to report your case.
Meanwhile what you can do now is contact your fellow countrymen in Japan, call embassy, let the friends collect evidence and file it to the police asap. Seikatsu Anzen 2Ka police depr.
Go to police asap, don’t let this mf get away
Do you think you were drugged? I agree with others that you should go to the police.
yo wth are you thinking? even though your Japanese is not good this is 2023 you can use google translate and shit. I have friend that doesnt know Japanese at all but managed to report the whole scene (and even re-acted it back to show the police on how it happened) by using only google translate. Dont let that fucking old man go freely!!! This is clearly sex assault and it happened a lot in Japan, and international media dont report them because Japan is reaaallly good at hiding it, or probably not much report by the victim. Stand your ground or its going to haunt you for the rest of your life.
Omg girl. I cannot even imagine what you went thru. I hope someone will quickly help you. Please update us about the followings. I’m worried about you.
Please, if no one can help, move out.
POLICE RIGHT NOW
Go to the cops! Do it! That sick bastard deserves it, and so do you!
The fact that he explicitly told you to not go to the police because they can’t do anything means he knows that he was severely in the wrong and that this is indeed a crime. Otherwise he wouldn’t have to make sure you don’t report him. He’s a POS that deserves to be locked up and you need to gather evidence asap. Screenshots of any communication with him, take photos of injuries, go to a bigger police station asap.
First of all I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. Please contact the police today. I’m wondering if he put something in your drink since you said got intoxicated quickly. I agree with the other posters on here, it doesn’t matter if you speak Japanese or not. Please report it!
What? Ok gosh I’m sorry this happened to you. The police will not be too helpful so please try and get this guy to incriminate himself. Maybe via text ask why why didn’t he just………. Anything to show that something bad happened between you two.
I’m shocked you actually agreed to the dinner after learning he lied to get you to go out with him, and you got drunk quiet quickly too? These are the things the police department will ask you about and call you out on. They won’t sugarcoat anything. They’ll make you feel like you wanted it to happen. And please, in The future, trust no one with your self. Being drunk, you gave away your power to help yourself in case of an emergency.