Ok, let me preface this with the appropriate appreciation for how much of a wonderful crime-less society the Japanese have created.
That being said one of my favorite things to rib my wife about is the stories I see every week on the news. I feel like I want to start documenting the best ones somewhere.
Today is raining? How do I know? Well the news this morning spent 10 minutes showing the rain falling on the ground in different parts of Japan. It’s definitely raining.
This was followed up with a story about a woman that had a bake sale and sold a bunch of bad tasting muffins.
These kinds of highlights happen so frequently I forget a lot of them, but my favorite one: someone had been pushing the buttons too hard on a vegetable vending machine and it broke the button. They spent 25 minute section on how the vegetable vending machine button was no longer working. I guess someone was in a rush.
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This is one reason I never watch TV. It’s all upside, to be honest. 10/10, would not watch again.
My local news had a piece about an asparagus thief.
Which resulted in the cops doing a stake out and patrolling with a helicopter.
They finally caught the dude, and turns out he stole about 10 stalks of asparagus.
Theres a homeless dude in Sapporo. Hes homeless. Its cold. But hes homeless. Let’s try shoving a camera in the homeless guys face. Hes homeless.
On 10/7, I was curious how Japan would handle a breaking news story of international significance. There was a 10 minute clip of a parade of horses somewhere in the country.
How is any of this a bad thing? US TV news is like a psychopath’s nightmares. I love boring. Boring is great.
Sometimes it’s just nice to hear about a nice NPO running a cafe with people with dementia, or doctors creating spaces to talk about their mental issues without judgement and such. I kind of enjoy it. Of course, some news are like why is this on the news…?
>This was followed up with a story about a woman that had a bake sale and sold a bunch of bad tasting muffins.
Japanese television used words other than oishi to describe food?!? That is news worthy.
I feel like a lot of times they just don’t air news that would “deface” the police/the place. A few months ago I was biking home and saw a guy running from the police on foot. As soon I as got home I went to my balcony since it was a sunny day and from the balcony I saw a bunch of cop cars and fire trucks by the river. Next day there was a tiny note on the local newspaper about a guy causing trouble at the main station, running away and jumping on the river to escape the police. The local TV never even mentioned it.
I distinctly remember one they showed last year where the story was, as far as I’m aware, that there was a pool (lazy river?) in China that was incredibly crowded. They had a 30 second-ish clip of said pool that they played on repeat while the obligatory shots of their commentators’ concerned faces were shown in the corner. This went on for about ten minutes. It was the top story on the 8AM news.
Well, to be honest, the muffins weren’t simply bad tasting – they were stale/rotten and sent dozens of people to the hospital for food poisoning. I feel like it would have been newsworthy in many other countries too lol.
But yeah, during morning shows, the selection is more askew towards catchy news than newspaper news. You can watch the night news like News Station, News 23, News Zero for actual information about politics and foreign affairs + proper investigative journalism.
The muffin story is awful! The bake shop (it was a real bakery, not an amateur ) had to bake 3000 muffins for the event and started baking them 5 days before the event because of lack of oven space. They simply wrapped them in plastic wrap and just kept baking them and stacking them up, no desiccants added into the packs, didn’t vacuum seal them,no refrigeration, they just set the air con on 18C and thought it would be enough. It’s a Class 1 food poisoning incident, the most serious level.
The muffin story is a bit beyond just ‘bad tasting’!
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I like the daily dashcam videos of bad drivers. I also enjoy when they report on things which are obviously bad, and then interview people on the street to give their opinion, which is always them confirming that it is indeed bad.
What news is your wife watching? There is a lot of serious news on the TV news shows. If you want to see absurd watch CNN. It’s live-streamed on Hulu here in Japan.
ITT: People who don’t understand Japanese or watch the news complaining about what they assume Japanese news is like.
Yeah, this is what the news is like when there isn’t any serious crime to talk about.
I think it also comes from the fact that most Japanese TV is quite non-serious and conflict free. I’m sure they could talk about politics, the economy, or other more serious and depressing topics, but fluff is just easier I guess.
>Ok, let me preface this with the appropriate appreciation for how much of a wonderful crime-less society the Japanese have created.
You’re joking right?
That being said I do not miss the 24×7 news culture that has developed over the last 30 years since the advent of CNN and news companies fighting for your viewership/add dollars by making literally EVERYTHING a crisis until the next one occurs. Also see pretty blonde white woman syndrome…
Another day, another thread where we “other” Japanese people because we can’t understand what’s being said on the television.
You just gotta know that when they pull out the big guns and showcase yet another 老舗 with dirt cheap gyoza teishoku, some government official bribed the network higher ups not to do a story on some scandal, hahah.
What news are you watching? There is actual news in the morning and several other times during the day, that will do serious reporting about newsworthy things, and there are morning shows that look like news and sometimes show news but also fill time with hard-hitting content like ‘capybara had a great day today’ and ‘cute hostess eats food cutely,’ and are not really news. ラヴィット and すっきり are examples of the latter.
I dunno. I stopped watching the news because it was constantly child abuse victims dying or old people killing people in car accidents.
Don’t live in Japan but I’ve visited ever since I was a kid and I swear the news was always murders where the body was found chopped up. I even remember playing and pretending we were investigating a murder, taking photos as evidence etc…
What’s up with that crazy family in Sapporo? The psychiatrist and his adult daughter and the decapitated crossdresser?
Whenever i see these kind of stuff i just say 日本は平和ですねthen laugh it off. There is no other news that is news worthy so they show random stuff.
Like Why is new food/restaurant part of a news.
They SOUND like cute, victimless stories, but in Japan, if it bleeds, it leads (just like anywhere else in the world). Food poisoning is a problem, and many people are concerned about it. When I worked for city hall, it was always brought up during event planning (because we often wanted food & drink at the events, or wanted to do cooking classes instead of plain Jane eikaiwa).
And as for the rain, we could be looking at floods, landslides, an earthquake in an area that has been jellified by a heavy rain . . . . They don’t always spell it out, but once in a while, there’s a special on the effects of news story A.
It’s an easy answer. They choose which stories are newsworthy according to their analysts’ advice on what will give them the best rating.
By the way, that muffin story was a serious case of mass-food poisoning and was urgent as people who bought one may have yet to consume it.
*checks all comments, no sign of this classic post from 10 years ago, aged like fine wine*
“I don’t watch TV in Japan often. When I do I’m quickly reminded of one fact. Japanese TV is fucking rubbish.
“Kenmin Show” was on just last night. For those who don’t know, Kenmin Show is a show where mostly talentless celebrities are amazed at footage of regional differences in Japan. Examples include “Did you know that old women in Osaka wear bright colours?” HUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEERRR? Well fuck my cock right down to the balls; no I did not know that.
The particular clip that shat itself into my living room last night was of some little old dear on some little old island off Kagoshima making a local delicacy. They interviewed a few local people.
Do you, sir, eat this local dish?
Well yes I do.
Cue ripples of excitement in the studio.
Do you, madam, eat this local dish?
Well yes I do.
Talento bird with stupid fucking hat tries to look inquisitive.
We re-join the little old dear in her little old kitchen on some little old island off Kagoshima to watch her prepare the mystery dish. First she gets some fish and grills them. The panel in the studio comment on how nice they look. The old dear then pulls out the second ingredient. What could it possibly be? Tits on Christ it’s a secret. We can tell this ingredient is a secret because it has been edited in post-production and obscured with the word “SECRET”.
The panel, visible in little boxes in the corner of the screen, ponder the many wondrous possibilities. Some knob in thick rimmed glasses audibly asks himself, “What is this mystery ingredient?”
One guy on the panel, a Kagoshima native, is looking insufferably smug. He already knows what it is. The cunt.
Kitchen. We see the old dear breaking the fish apart with her fingers and throwing them in a pan. Some twat in the studio says “wild”, other twats giggle. The secret ingredient is introduced to the mix so that now the pan itself has become shrouded in secrecy.
It’s not over. We see a third ingredient, sugar. Not a secret, but no less important. In fact the sugar itself has inspired awe in a number of the studio audience. Not one, not two but THREE spoonfuls are added to the secret brew. The two hosts of the show, wide eyed, silently mouth the word “three?” to each other.
“Ah yes, three”, the smug fucker from Kagoshima nods to himself.
Back to the action. The feast is complete. The little old dear whisks the dish out into the dining area where it is received with rapturous applause from the eagerly waiting friends and family. They eat it. They confirm it is delicious. Talento bird in stupid hat says it sounds delicious. Cunt from Kagoshima already knows how it tastes!
Meanwhile, us poor saps at home still don’t know what it looks like. Not to worry, it’s time for the big reveal. Cue music, camera slowly pans down towards kitchen bench. What is it? Could it be?
CUT TO CLOSE UP OF TALENTO JIZZ FACES. HUUUUEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR???!!!!
Commercial break. People eating. People gulping. Birds cleaning faces. People eating. Sexy yet compact cars. People eating.
We return to the show. Luckily we are given time to compose ourselves with a recap of the little old dear in her little old kitchen on some little old island off Kagoshima guiding us through the process of cooking once more.
15 minutes have elapsed since we were first privy to the existence of this magical local delicacy but now it is time. Cue music again, camera slowly pans down towards kitchen bench again. Talento jizz faces again. Huueeerr again.
We are allowed to see that inside the pan is mushed fish. Bird in stupid hat confirms that it looks delicious. Studio audience reasserts this fact. That’s not what we came here for though. The fish mush is just the warm up. We still don’t know what the secret ingredient is. WE MUST KNOW. Fear not. It is time.
The two hosts announce energetically and in tandem, “KAGOSHIMA, COMING OUT!”
Cue music for the final time. The camera, positioned on the old dear’s face ever so slowly pans out, the people at home, the studio audience, the panel in their little boxes in the corner of the screen, are all wetting themselves in anticipation…
Until…
Finally…
…
Miso paste.
HUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR???!!!!
It is absolute fucking chaos in the studio. Nobody can fucking believe it. The bird in the stupid hat looks almost incredulous that someone, Japanese no less, would use such an ingredient in such a dish. The knob in thick rimmed glasses nods as if he has unlocked one of the great complexities of the world.
Just when the atmosphere couldn’t get any more electric, the two hosts announce that the mystery dish is here, in this very studio. It is ushered out into the waiting mouths of the talento, who clap in wonder. The bird in the stupid hat can finally say with conviction that the dish not only sounds, looks, but tastes delicious. The smug cunt from Kagoshima has a face which beams “I told you so!” and welcomes his new brothers and sisters to the higher plane of regional knowledge.
Commercial break. People eating.”
Never. Gets. Old.
I like the dramatic expose and public shaming of people doing things that are mildly meiwaku or abunai.
“Newsworthy” seems to involve anything that constitutes ‘sugoi’ or ‘oishii’. If it doesn’t meet the “making an audience of morning TV hosts gush in satisfaction” threshold, it doesn’t count.