Hello I was referred to this sub.
I am married to a Japanese lady and have two amazing and beautiful boys.
In 2013 I got behind the wheel after drinking and there were terrible consequences, and I was in prison until last month.
My wife was solid and supportive during my incarceration and we remained married. She and the kids moved in with my mother, things were working. I have a retirement from the military that she was making great use of.
She had gotten an apartment for us and we were getting ready to be together again when I got out.
Until I found out she was gone.
To make it short, there was no apartment and she had no plans to restart our life.
She secretly moved to Japan, took the kids, and disappeared. But we never divorced. I have the kids’ American passports.
Of course local police shrug shoulders, embassy expresses sympathy.
I’m not looking for sympathy, actions have consequences and I accept that.
I am going to fly to Japan in September and would like an idea of who I would even talk to, where I can go.
Does anyone have any ideas?
6 comments
Sadly you have pretty much zero chance of anything happening if your wife doesn’t want to meet/let you see the kids. Japanese law is firmly on her side so sorry to say but the best you can hope for is maybe hire a private detective to get her contact details
Like Reddit is the place to ask for advice, lol. And all this sounds SO much like all the other over the top recent bullshit about spouses trying to kidnap kids and divorce.
Aren’t people tired of always reading about the same unbelievable shit on this sub?
How old are the children? If its custody you are coming here to fight for, I have to tell you that unfortunately the Japanese coursts will side with the Japanese mother 99% of the time. Considering your criminal record I would all but guarantee that your wife will be able to legally keep you away from your kids.
Are you still married to your wife? Are you certain she has not had it annulled or divorced you without your consent? (Again, due to you being in jail).
I really do feel sorry for your situations but would highly, highly recommend you not come to Japan until you can confirm what kind of legal rights you may have. Currently at best you may be able to hire some kind of personal investigator who may be able to track them down, but if you actually tried to show up at their doorstep and your wife freaks out she may take action agaisnt you which at best will get you deported, at worse put you back in jail.
If your children are of age, I would try to find them on socisl media or somewhere first and try reaching out to them there.
Your post is likely going to get deleted due to you not being a resident to Japan.
But until it does, It sounds like Your wife has committed a violation of The Hague convention. I am not sure how this applies if one of the parents is in prison during the kidnapping of the kids to another country though.
So I’d recommend getting a lawyer.
Hague convention: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Convention_on_the_Civil_Aspects_of_International_Child_Abduction
Japan signed up to it January 24th 2014. Of course Japan don’t adhere to it though (until maybe recently?) so expect a challenge. But The Hague convention is a good place for you to start.
Edit: you may actually struggle to physically get into Japan, even as a tourist with a criminal record.
>I am going to fly to Japan in September
You’d need your wife to apply for a family visit visa to make it happen unless you’re also a Japanese citizen.
Edit: it doesn’t have to be your wife, if you have a family member or even a close friend in Japan they can apply for a visa for you. However committing an offense that can give you a year in prison or more can be a reason for immigration to turn down your visa. You might want to start with talking to a lawyer about both how to get here and how to look for your children.
Unfortunately I don’t think u can even get to japan right now since u got no visa