Is giving seat on subway to elders or parents with a baby not common in Japan?

31 comments

1. **Our FAQ is constantly being updated with more information and you can start** [**here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JapanTravel/wiki/faqs/japantravel) **with regards to trip planning if you need tips, advice, or have questions about planning your travel to Japan.** You can also join our [Discord community](https://discord.gg/3f7KBUMwU4), comment in our stickied weekly discussion thread, or check out /r/JapanTravelTips for quick questions. Thank you!

   *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/JapanTravel) if you have any questions or concerns.*

2. Ngl most of the population are elders in Japan..

3. They are given seats in the priority section.

   You may think it is weird that no one give seats to people in regular section, but as someone living here, unless it’s obvious that the person have mobility problem, the offer is almost always declined that you stopped offering.

   Heck, last month there was an elder women who was shaking the entire way and I have to insist 3 times for her to take my seat.

4. Depends on how packed the train is. Generally I get offered seats by people of all ages but usually only if it doesn’t bother anyone else.

5. It’s usually ended up in awkward situation where the person offered just refused instead of taking the offer.
   Personally the way I do it is just acting as if I’m going to get off on the next station, and hope they will take the seat instead of healthy salaryman.

   Or just close my eyes and listen to music.

6. I recall a friend (of mine, living in Japan) mentioned that sometimes the implication is that you think those people can’t stand. Kind of like highlighting a perceived deficiency.

   Can’t speak from first hand experience.

7. I was in Central Japan last week and I offered my seat a few times to elders and they always decline 😅 however, people usually respect the priority section of the train/bus.

8. Unfortunately yes.

   The issue existed for a while and priority seats were invented for that reason. In practice though almost nobody will give any seats in the non-priority area instead, while priority seats are often occupied, so pregnant women and elderly have to stand.

9. I think it’s complex, and in my experience it varies by region as to how common it is. I have travelled all over Japan with a totally blind person who walks with a cane. We are from Australia and find that we are offered seats not that much less than at home. He is offered a seat more in rural and regional areas than in big cities like Tokyo and Osaka, but many people still do. It is also kind of an expectation that you use the priority seating if you have a disability and need a seat, people are much less likely to give up normal seats.

10. Only at the priority seats usually, not outside them

11. I’d say it’s not common. I was in Tokyo this year and offered my seat to an elderly woman, and she took it. I offered my seat to an elderly man, and he took it. He also said “thank you” before getting off the train. I also offered my seat to an elderly man, and he immediately moved away from me.

    So 2/3

    I don’t think it’s rude to offer your seat there, but I don’t think it’s rude to them if you don’t.

12. Yeah I found this so odd.

13. I gave up my seat on a not very crowded subway car in Tokyo (mid afternoon) and the older gentleman accepted with a big smile.

    And after a few minutes called me over and thanked me again, pressing a small envelope into my hand. I accepted, not sure how to decline politely.

    Turns out it had ¥500 inside. I was flabbergasted but by this time was off the train and had lost sight of him….I wasn’t sure if he was going around thanking people for nice things specifically or if I had taken money meant for his grandchild or something…

14. It really depends on people and the time of the day.

    Once I was traveling back home from a weekend hiking trip on Odakyu Line. The train was relatively empty but there were no free seats. I was visibly exhausted and kept shifting weight from foot to foot. One ojisan on the train noticed and offered me his seat !
    I was extremely thankful. I have realised, older people are not stuck to their phones and are generally more considerate/observant.

    When I’m traveling on weekends, I’m happy to offer my seat to people in need. But I’m more selective when I’m traveling on a work day, since I have the whole day ahead and don’t want to tire myself. Same goes for coming back from work, depending on the level of exhaustion.

15. It depends. I was on a bus in Kyoto and offered my seat to an elderly woman who accepted and apologized that she had to take my seat (she was very sweet).

    Another time I offered my seat on subway in Tokyo to an elderly man and he declined. Talked to a friend about it cause I was afraid to had committed a cultural sin lol. She said if I wanted to give my seat, just stand up silently and move to another car.

16. This happens in every country and I’ve lived in a few. When I was pregnant in Japan we can get a special badge to wear to show we are a priority person. Mostly women will acknowledge it. Businessmen are the worst and pretend to sleep. I was so sick and had no problem waking them up or even asking people who were ignoring me to please stand. I was always polite and made sure to ask and state that I understand if they are a priority person too. Never had anyone refuse because of course it got everyone’s attention and they don’t want to lose face. F that. I can’t stand priority not being given to people who need the seat more.

17. Happened to me more than a few times, in Osaka and Tokyo. Clearly elderly women boarded and all the men seated made no move to offer them their seat. When I did, the women seemed surprised but they did accept.

18. It was just last week when my wife had a seat snatched. She was carrying a baby and moving towards an empty seat when the other commuter just cut her off and sat down.

19. We were on the train (I can’t remember where we were, it’s all a blur now) but my husband and I were sitting. I think we were 2 stops in and I just realized that the lady standing next to me had a boot on. I profusely apologized to her and said “I’m sorry, I didn’t see your cast. Please, take my seat.” She was super sweet, thanked us, and then waved us goodbye as we got off the train.

    As for why no one else offered their seat, I’m not sure. 🤷‍♀️ I just know when you’re a guest in a foreign country, you’re representing your country. And with how Americans have been acting, I want to give good impression that we’re all not loud mouth dicks.

    Edit: I should add that we were not sitting in the priority seats.

20. I saw people give up their seats to elderly passengers in Tokyo and someone even gave their seat to my mother on the bus in Hakone even though she’s not that old.

21. Yeah it’s weird. Students and young people in Australia are required to give up seats for adults (as they get discounted fares).

    In Japan I have been seeing students in school uniforms continue sitting down even if there were old people around. Unsure if students here pay full price for fares.

22. I was there in October visiting my son and his family from Japan. We had a double stroller for 2 year old s as nd 4 mo old. We always went to the section from r babies and tried to park in the part for stroller parking. People rarely moved from the special seating. They just pretended not to see us. It’s nice when they do move for my DIL and daughter but it really wasn’t common. They are supposed to though.

23. I offered my seat to an old lady on my way to Chiba for a concert. The lady seemed genuinely surprised and super grateful.

    I would say it’s not even that common in Canada either unless you have an obvious need like a walker, stroller or noticeable pregnancy.

24. Let me share my observations as a Japanese citizen. To be honest, it’s not that common in Japan. Only when a very old person, an apparently pregnant woman, or a handicapped person approaches the priority seat do some people give up their seat for them. However, people sitting there don’t mind yielding the seat when asked.

    Usually, the individuals I listed above decline the offer, so that’s another reason why it’s not that common here. I’ve offered a seat sometimes, and as far as I remember, almost all of them kindly declined my offer. We don’t want to have an unpleasant feeling when declined, and we also don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable.

25. I always gave my seat for elderly and kids and they were really overly grateful and apologetic for that every time. Like this one elder woman I gave my seat to keep bowing to me and even upon leaving keep nodding and saying thank you for me.

26. So I spent a month in Japan on a college Fellowship and I discovered the response tends to be regional. I primarily stayed in Kyoto and Tokyo and took day trips to other cities. When I gave up or offered my seat in cities like Kyoto and Kobe they were always accepted with thanks. When I offered my seat in places like Osaka and Tokyo I was often given rude looks, ignored or the person declined, I found that getting up and standing near the exit as if the next stop was mine was a way I could offer my seat with being rude. I did encounter a woman with a cane pleading for a seat as soon as she boarded (in Tokyo) and I stood immediately and she was relieved.

    I think it’s a regional, more modern crowded cities are more independent where as smaller or traditional cities stick more to the elders norm. I grew in Texas so I figure its the same as calling women ma’am, those who identify as women in the south understand the formality/mannerisms and nothing to do with age(I’m 23 and have been getting called ma’am since I was 15) where as the first time I was in New York and in the mid West I got chewed out cause they “weren’t old women”.

    Tldr: it’s likely regional is based on traditional mannerisms vs modern independent mannerism. But nothing wrong with you offering.

27. Sometimes they feel offended if you offer them that. I once saw an old lady really struggling with her suitcase, another man tried to offer to help her, she rejected and even yelled I told you I don’t need it when the man insisted her.

    If I see someone needs a seat, I often just stand up and go to other place and even don’t make eye contact with them so they don’t feel like I’m giving them my seat lol.

28. I’ve offered my seat many times while in Japan and somehow everyone always politely declined with a smile. I wonder if accepting a seat is also more or less commonplace

29. It depends on the people and if they are kindhearted by nature.

    If you make friends will Japanese people, they’ll tell you “Japanese people are polite, not kind.” That distinction is important. Many people here will not go out of their way to help you out of the goodness of their heart, but will be polite when the social pressure calls for it.

    I’ve lived in Tokyo for 8 years. I have seen women get up for pregnant women. I’ve occasionally seen people give up their seat for the elderly. But I’ve also seen 30-40 year men dart past or push old (60-80) men out of the way to get to a seat first on more than one occasion.

30. I was there a few years ago with my boyfriend and he offered an elderly man a seat. He looked pretty relieved since was a rather long train ride. When we left for our stop, he gave us a bag of Japanese sweets 🥹. We told him he didn’t need to but he insisted.

31. I was there for a month of this year and each time it was welcomed and they were grateful. Of course I only offered it to people who look 70+. It seemed weird that nobody was offering up their seat though, but based on this thread, it looks like the norm.