Super disappointing experience with this sub

30 comments

1. People are always going to project and often assume the worst. Especially if you’re the man in a male-female relationship. Hope everything works out for you.

2. That’s par for the course for here. You have to keep your expectations limited when you go looking for thoughtful advice online.

3. I feel you, sending hugs and luck 🍀

4. This needed a post because?

   You put your personal shit on the internet, you expose yourself to different views. So many fake stories are all over this sub. No one knows if yours aren’t as well.

   I personally disagree with posts like yours seeking advice on personal matters, but I typically just stay out of it. There are plenty of other subs to get advice on. Not to mention, pretty easy to get advice from others with a simple search and see the previous advice. There are also many other subs that provide advice about your situation.

5. no offense but when you put your personal shit out to the public you’re gonna get all sides of the situation. Even the sides that might not exist. Only you know the truth so you have to parse through which comments are geared towards you.

6. [removed]

7. Sir, this is Reddit. You can’t assume that everyone will provide you with the advice you need or want. Just pick one that works for you and don’t worry about the rest

8. Welcome to internet

9. You got a lot of growing up to do homie.

10. Op, I feel you, I am sorry about you situation…It can be difficult when someone you care about is abusive.

11. We just want all of the information, too many times people conveniently leave out some details which are important to the narrative, occasionally they do slip up and out themselves as the real asshole though.

    How long did you know her for, and where did you meet, and how often did you meet before you came here?

12. Hey man cheers to that 🍻 There are many people disappointed with this sub. People say the meanest things. Usually every now and then a critical post such as this one deservedly gets posted and a lot of people who feel the same way will make themselves known, but the cycle repeats itself endlessly. Lots of shit, every now and then a critical post, then lots of shit again.

13. At least you didn’t catch as much flak as that guy who posted the question about why so many naked bronze statues. I felt sorry for that guy….

14. The guy is new in Japan but also on the internet lol

    You wake up from a coma since 1991? Or did you discovered internet when you moved to this futuristic country?

15. This makes me feel old. I suppose the idea that an anonymous forum full of random people would be a good place to seek advice about important personal matters in the first place blows my mind. That there might be some good responses among the completely predictable random groupings of words responses further surprises me. That the OP (sorry to single you out) has such high expectations of this random anonymous internet forum that they would expect to not have to sift through shit to get to something useful is beyond my comprehension.

    I’m all for your positivity OP. Could perhaps do without the final Reddit 101 passive aggressive sign off implying that there might be something wrong with whoever doesn’t give the responses you expect.

16. You’re talking in part about my **question**, which was “*Did you cheat?*”

    It was a question. Not an accusation. Not an allegation. Not an implication or an inference.

    I asked, “*Did you cheat?*” and you and a bunch of White Knighters shrieked and howled that I claimed you cheated.

    It must suck to actually *want* to be a victim.

17. Heh, something similar happened to me in the learning language subreddit.

    Just posted a question asking for resources on how to speak and people jumped on me on the first sentence I used as an opener and got mad at me when I said it was off topic and that I was actually looking for answers wrt to my question.

    I know how internet works, unfortunately, but I got the wrong assumptions that some subs were more civilized than others. Well, just assume that there is bunch of morons everywhere, and don’t reply to them. They’ll fade away in their own bubble eventually.

    On the upside, there are also really helpful people and they are actually the ones who make Reddit a valuable place. So don’t get too sensitive OP, just ignore troll and give back to the community who helped you by being helpful yourself.

    People trying to look smart on every occasion by putting people down are the saddest down there. Just let them be and listen to people who actually try to help you. And help back.

18. Super disappointing experience with this post, it was written by someone who only expected people to say what they wanted to hear.

19. If it makes you feel better, a lot of the people who comment don’t even live in Japan (either ever, or anymore). There are a lot of people on this sub that just *love* Japan. Or, they lived here for 2 years back in the 1990s or something.

    A lot of the people that try to help are people that matter.

20. The community is the worse. 80% gatekeepers and holier-than-thou insufferable individuals.

21. I try not to use Reddit much but, after being on a bit more lately and perusing this sub, it’s become abundantly clear that lots of people in this sub are just douchebags.

    OP, I hope things look up for you soon. I’m an anonymous person on the internet with no real advice, but I’m sending you good thoughts.

22. Ignore the people who want to know what you did to get abused by your GF. It’s none of their business. If they need to know before they offer their advice then that’s their problem, not yours.

    Ignore the people who expect you to absolve yourself. You didn’t ask for absolution.

    If they keep giving you grief, just block ’em.

23. I mean, you can’t give a bunch of drama-obsessed train riding bored people half the information.

    At least if you told everyone how and why you ended up in that situation, what kind of relationship you were in and how it spiralled into what it was, you wouldn’t have gotten all the online abuse!

24. People here justifying toxic behaviors is just what blows my mind. They wouldn’t say that kind things face-to-face but yeah, as some pointed out this is internet.

    Stay up dude. How’s your situation atm?

25. As someone who also moved in with their Japanese partner and is dealing with cultural differences, differences in the way our families raised us, and the disturbance of peace in the home it can cause, I’m very curious to hear more about what you’ve been going through. My partner has also been more physical with me, and I had to get him to see that I don’t like that, despite it being normal for him and his family. I don’t know if your situation is similar, but maybe it is. Feel free to dm me, if you want to talk more specifics! Sorry for the way people react. A lot of the times, they’ve never been in the exact situation, yet feel as though they can critique…🤦🏼‍♀️

26. Think of it as an excellent opportunity to curate your Reddit experience. Block the assholes & don’t look back. Life is too short.

27. >But there were also a lot of negative comments either assuming I must have done something wrong or trivialising my situation.

    Unfortunately, you’re not alone in that. A lot of DA survivors will be blamed for their own situations. Please don’t try to take it too personally.

28. This is reddit, what’ve you expected

29. This is the most toxic sub on reddit fr. Everytime I come on here it ruins my day.

30. Also, this is why people are skeptical:

    [https://www.reddit.com/r/Tokyo/comments/1855csd/wife_ran_away_with_money/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tokyo/comments/1855csd/wife_ran_away_with_money/)

    Another divorce sob story until people start noticing that he mentions that she ran away to the women’s shelter, and when people ask him about it he becomes evasive and deletes the post. Oh, but sure, it’s our fault for being too negative, we should have just helped this abusive piece of shit without question!