Trip report: 13 days with retiree in-laws and parents

My husband and I honeymooned in Japan in 2016 and kept thinking “wow, our parents would love this, but they would probably never come here themselves– we should take them!” And after our fall 2020 plans to do so were scrapped, we revived the trip for early-mid November 2023. We became a group of 7: my husband and I (late 30s/early 40s), his brother (late 30s) & parents (mid-60s), and my parents (mid-70s). This sub was helpful on many research and trip-planning points, but guidance for traveling with the elderly or disabled didn’t have much recent content so I wanted to share a report of our 2023 findings.

**Our group needs:**

* 4 people in the group had self-described “bad knees” (torn ACLs & meniscus, post-op but never the same as before) but were mobile to a point– no assistive devices needed, but needed to take it easy on the stairs and target a max step count of 10-15k per day.
* The rest were of average urban American mobility.
* 2 were on medications that caused them to need bathrooms often and at unpredictable intervals.
* 2 were afraid of crowds (not severely, but enough to skip a few day trips to avoid dealing with the train station). 3 more were from suburbs, so nervous about the crowds but OK to follow one of us leading the group.
* 1 is very sensitive to heat and humidity.
* By the elders’ request to avoid unpacking/repacking several times, we stayed in one hotel in Osaka, near Osaka Station, and took day trips in the Kansai region (with one overnight in Hiroshima).

**Wins:**

* Public bathrooms, escalators and elevators were more widely available than I feared for our itinerary. Some were inconveniently far from the station exit we were looking for (and in those cases we chose to take it slow on the stairs), but I was relieved to find that they largely existed everywhere we went.
* The regional JR pass (Kansai Hiroshima JR pass) was really great as it was not only cheaper than the national pass, but after triple checking (unless I misread it and got away with it), it was also valid on the Nozomi shinkansen between Osaka and Hiroshima.
* E-sims! This wasn’t an option on our 2016 trip (so we did pocket wifi) and I’m glad this worked out.
* I brought a small portable telescoping stool that fit in my daypack. The plan was to use it when seating was hard to find. However, my mom was afraid it would collapse so she refused until our second Kyoto day in the bamboo forest, while we waited for others to use the bathroom at Tenryuiji temple, and she was ultimately grateful. I really recommend it or another seating solution (like those canes with a stool attachment).
* Given how much more rest my parents needed than I expected, I am grateful they found the hotel very comfortable (Intergate Osaka-Umeda, and their sister hotel in Hiroshima). I selected deluxe double rooms for each couple so that there would be space on both sides of the bed.
* ICOCA cards were also very handy for days we weren’t using the pass and non-JR transit, and to use to pay at some vending machines, convenience stores and food vendors.

**Our itinerary:** We were based in Osaka for 12 nights/13 days.

* Day 0 – Arrived KIX around dinnertime. Checked into hotel and after 30+ hours of being awake, crashed quickly.
* Day 1 – rest/recover day. No set plans. Some of us woke up and walked around the neighborhood, and others slept in. We took taxis to, then had lunch together in the Umeda Sky Building basement food court, and then went to the top. It was unseasonably warm and humid so everyone cabbed back to the hotel after this, before a light dinner in a nearby food court.
* Day 2 – Kobe. First destination: lunch for the touristy “Kobe beef in Kobe” experience. We arrive early enough to visit the Ikuta-jinja shrine beforehand. Nunobiki Ropeway/Herb Garden after lunch (don’t recommend on a rainy day), followed by a sake brewery across town.
* Day 3 – Kyoto. My parents are too exhausted by yesterday/still jet-lagged to leave when the rest of the group is ready, so group 1 heads out early to see Fushimi Inari and Nishiki Market while I lead group 2 to the Kyoto Imperial Palace gardens. The whole group meets at GEAR non-verbal theater, which was a hit despite the 3 flights of stairs they had to climb to get to the theater. Then, we have some time to kill before an early dinner. My mom felt some FOMO about missing Nishiki Market in the morning, so I walk her there to show her while the rest of the group walked toward the restaurant. Dinner at Another C was incredible! Everyone loved it and my dad even said after, “I don’t know how you’ll top this.” They are \*still\* talking about/showing off pics from that dinner.
* Day 4 – Nara. My parents enjoyed the “sleep in and do less” schedule from yesterday so I led group 2 straight to the Todai-ji while group 1 visited Ishuen gardens first. We also booked reservations for a public educational tea ceremony at the Nara visitor’s center.
* Day 5 – Miyajima. Shinkansen to Hiroshima, then train to the JR ferry. Our group split up on the island: my parents were still a little weary from the journey so they wanted to rest in the park near the ferry terminal, then shopped a little in the village. The rest of us walked to the floating torii gate, then up to the Mt. Misen ropeway. The bad knee folks in our group were a little ragged from the ropeway, which has a lot of stairs to and from each transfer point– I probably wouldn’t have recommended it if I had remembered this detail from my last visit. We took a different ferry back that went directly to Hiroshima, after which we checked into our hotel. Attempt #1 at the Okonomimura failed – too crowded. We were a bit tired though and hadn’t planned a backup, so ended up in a random counter place for a light dinner.
* Day 6 – Hiroshima. Peace Museum in the morning, Peace Park after, Attempt #2 Okonomimura failed, but this time because we were too tired to walk all the way there from the Peace Park. We ended up eating at an okonomiyaki restaurant near the park instead (good food, weird ambiance, a few doors down from a much more popular place with a 90-minute line). We figure out and board the free JR sightseeing bus that circles the city and decide we’ll get off at Hiroshima Castle. But the driver kicks everyone off at the train station instead and we have to cab the rest of the way.
* Day 7 – Osaka-based/rest/laundry day. We learn there are only 6 wash/dry machines in the hotel so there is some time wasted on waiting for machines, etc. Also, the combo machines dry poorly, so we ended up hanging a lot of clothes in our room after attempting to dry for an additional hour per load. Went to Osaka Castle in the afternoon. Some went inside, some went to the rooftop cafe on the grounds and had drinks instead.
* Day 8 – Osaka-based/rest day. Osaka Aquarium for most of us. It was interesting and very large, but coming from the Bay Area, it’s got nothing on the Monterey Bay Aquarium. The mall next door was convenient and had the kind of food court I initially had hoped to find elsewhere.
* Day 9 – Kyoto (take 2) – Kinkaku-ji, Arashiyama bamboo forest, Sagano romantic train. We took cabs from the subway to Kinkaku-ji, to Arashiyama, and to the Saga-Torokko station. We ate ramen in the station for lunch, then shopped, rested, or explored in the neighborhood before our reserved train departure.
* Day 10 – Himeji Castle – my parents skipped this because they were (rightly) worried about the stairs. This was a redemption revisit for my husband and I– last time there was a spring festival we hadn’t known about on the grounds, leaving the Castle entrance so crowded that we ended up picnicking on the grounds instead (which was great, but we still had some regrets). Our smaller group enjoyed it immensely and were relieved it was not at all crowded as I’d experienced before. We also tried a fabulous tamekake meshi lunch right outside the grounds before heading back. Picked up a jiggly cheesecake on our way to the hotel to share with the whole group.
* Day 11 – The younguns sought a traditional Japanese breakfast and walked to a restaurant in the Rihga hotel’s basement, where we ate a wonderful meal. Our parents had various shopping needs (Don Quixote for an extra piece of luggage to bring souvenirs back), and then a smaller group cabbed to Osaka Castle for a river cruise. Reconvened as a group for a food court dinner.
* Day 12 – The younguns, eager for another walk before our flights later that day, went to a cat cafe while our parents packed and checked out of the hotel. On the way back, we picked up lunch for everyone in the Hanshin department store basement (a mix of sushi, bento, and katsu sandwiches), then ate at a nearby bench before our airport transfer van arrived to pick us up.
* Then Kansai airport. We didn’t know you couldn’t even check in until 3 hours prior to the flight, so we had to wait a while, but there weren’t seats on the main departures level so we found a spot to hang on the domestic departures level for an hour or so. Despite getting there so early we ended up toward the back of the line to check in, which was very slow (perhaps because HAL wouldn’t let anyone check in online), but my parents, who flew Business class, got to use the “fast lane” for security. Regular security went quickly for me at about 6pm on a Thursday, but by the time I got gateside many of the stores were already closed or about to be, so there wasn’t much to do. The lounge was strict about not allowing guests for partner airlines, so my parents rested and enjoyed the lounge while I charged my devices with the rest of us plebs at the gate.

**Overall** **Reflections:** We made a lot of tradeoffs in various choices.

* My parents insisted on a layover because they didn’t want a flight longer than 8 hours, but the journey was so much longer and they got so much more tired. Plus, the only option in that case is to stop in Honolulu, which is a largely open-air airport on a humid, tropical island (given my mom’s sensitivity to heat, that was not ideal, and she struggled on the walk between gates). My in-laws took a nonstop and on the way back landed at our home airport while we were still on our layover with at least 7 more hours of travel ahead.
* If we had kept a firmer daily schedule, we could have taken private vans to skip most of the train station chaos– but my parents probably would have struggled to wake up early enough for that and might have pushed themselves too hard to keep up because of the extra expense and commitment. But, it was a mostly-reasonable compromise for the family to take regional trains to a day trip and then taxi in-city. For this reason, a second reflection: the Kansai Thru-Pass wasn’t worth it on this trip (my spouse and I made great use of it last time but also didn’t know how cheap cabs were back then).
* Or if I had pushed the group harder to make 1 or 2 “home base” relocations, we could have made transit to some of the day trips shorter. Anything over an hour door-to-door was tough on them.
* I should have had us take more limited express trains. I didn’t realize how cheap the supplemental fares were (maybe $8 USD extra per person). They had bathrooms on board, and were so much less crowded so there was a strong chance of a seat. On local/rapid trains we always boarded at the “priority seat” side so the elders had seats, but around day 9 or 10 there it was more crowded and some indifferent 20-somethings in the priority section didn’t even look up from their phones until someone with crutches tapped them on the knee with the crutch. It wasn’t a huge deal by itself, but it was kind of the last straw for my dad and he stopped joining us for trips requiring trains after that.
* I was skeptical of the airport transfer van but gave in to their request because of how tired my parents were. They wanted to do it because they feared what would happen if the airport limousine bus (which was quite convenient to our hotel) was as full as our trip from the airport, where people behind us in line sat in jump seats in the aisle. Plus, the private van cost per person was \~$30USD, comparable to an airport taxi in San Francisco.

**Itinerary reflections:**

* Overall I’m happy with how I organized the itinerary, but if I was doing it over again, I would have made a few modifications as to optimize for this group.
* The Kobe day went a little off the rails after lunch. I should have had the group vote for EITHER the herb garden/ropeway OR the sake brewery, and I wish I had known earlier in the day that Uber would work to call cabs – it would have saved a lot of wasted walking energy following signs for a taxi stand after the herb garden which turned out to be out of service.
* Splitting the group by pace was convenient, but it was better for morale when the slower group went to different destinations than the faster group so they’d have something unique to talk about when we reconvened for meals.
* I had hoped by having a heavily-scheduled first 4 days, the group would get more acclimated and comfortable with transit and then either suggest ideas or split into smaller mixed groups based on shared interests in future days, but that didn’t really happen. Instead, partly because of how hot the first few days were, they were very exhausted by all the “go-go-go” of getting to our reservations on time and relished having a schedule that we decided together the night before at dinner.

Hope that helps!

ETA: on budget- excluding flights as we all were in different fare classes, we averaged a trip total of $1900 per person for group expenses (transit, hotel, food, sightseeing). I probably spent another $200 on personal shopping and others did too. This was at the ~150yen:1USD exchange rate.