Hi guys, wanted to know if anyone is in a similar situation.
Basically getting tired of living in Japan and with my wife. I want to go back to USA. Wife doesn’t want to divorce so will have to live separately. (Wife in Japan and Ill be in the USA)
My questions are
1. Is this even possible?
2. Can I report to city hall that only I will be leaving even though I’m married?
3. Is there any financial repercussions and any consequences that I should be aware if I do this?
15 comments
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[https://jp.usembassy.gov/services/divorce/](https://jp.usembassy.gov/services/divorce/)
>Divorce by mediation in a family court (chotei rikon), completed by applying for mediation by the family court (for cases in which divorce by mutual agreement cannot be reached).
do you still want to be with her? that seems like the bigger question
Previously, I moved back to the US and my spouse stayed for a while until coming. It was fine. I went through all the crap at city hall when I left, then she did when she left. She took care of it mostly so I don’t have many details but basically it was easy. We did this at a small town city hall and they didn’t create any problems.
I don’t think there are any major financial worries though I don’t know all your details. But if you basically have a normal job and income, you just treat the US like your tax home once you arrive and your wife’s tax home is Japan. If this is going to be permanent-ish you might have to worry about how to handle tax deductions (file as single or married??) but that’s above my pay grade.
I don’t have much specific helpful information but my parents live like this. My dad lives and works in America and sends back money to her so at the very least it’s possible
Tanshinfunin. Very common. Very normal.
Families live apart all the time. I’d say a good percentage of the Japanese expats I worked with overseas were alone, with wife and kids back in Japan. So that’s not an issue.
Bigger issue is staying married to someone you don’t want to be with. I see that going badly in any number of ways.
It should be pretty easily doable unless she’s on a dependant visa. Just fill out the paperwork at the city hall, and she might have to refile paperwork with her employer if you were listed as her dependant and/or on her health insurance.
There shouldn’t be any unexpected financial consequences other than your wife’s Japanese taxes and payments changing a bit if you were her dependant, and paying close attention to the US rules for married filing jointly vs separately.
Once you have lived in the US for a few months, most states will let you get divorced in their local courts on the basis that you’re living separate and apart, whether or not your wife wants to cooperate.
If you dont have any kids then rip off the bandaid. Expecting to be happily married to someone on the opposite side of Earth for the rest of you life is insane. If you are both unwilling to compromise on living in Japan or US then its a done deal right there. Will suck in the short term but better off in the long.
What makes you tired of Japan? Seems weird she would want to stay married
after you have lived apart for some time – you can use this fact as a justification for divorce
If it will be a permanent separation you should probably just pursue a divorce. If you meet someone in the US later that you want to marry you’ll have to divorce your Japanese wife then. Might as well get it done now if you have no intention of returning.
Do you know if she’s filed that paper that prevents a spouse from filing a divorce by themselves? (DON’T ASK HER). If not, (SECRETLY) take her stamp, fill out the divorce papers, file em and then bounce.
If you don’t know, still do it because she might have not
Divorce.