I’m posting under a new profile so that this story can’t be traced back to me via other posts that I made. You can’t blame me for being a bit paranoid after what happened…
I am a teacher in an international secondary school in Japan. My wife and I moved here over the summer and got ourselves settled. We were adjusting to life and everything was going well.
We have a happy marriage and a vibrant sex life. We are adventurous and open-minded and have in the past had threesomes with either a male or female third party. We were active on swingers websites and also had a FetLife profile. We take pictures for our personal enjoyment and occasionally share one with the kink community. We hadn’t really been active on any of the aforementioned websites or tried connecting with anyone like-minded since we got here; life has been busy.Our personal life is our personal life and none of that is in any way connected to my professional life.
Last week I get called in and am briefly shown an email containing some of these photos (taken off FetLife). It turns out it was sent to a large number of teachers and administrators, coming from an anonymous email address with a generic name. My heart sank.The worst part is, however, that this person is claiming that my wife and I are looking for young girls without ID to have intercourse with. This is a terrible lie!In their email, “they” said that if the school did not remove me from the community immediately, “they” would take all this information to the local newspapers.
We are completely confused and baffled. We feel stupid, humiliated and violated. We know we shared those photos and that it wasn’t smart. However, this feels like such an invasion of our person and like an attack.We are dumbfounded as to who would be so spiteful and mean as to destroy someone’s life for the sake of it. We can only think of one thing that happened; I suspended a boy for fighting. His parents threatened to sue claiming his child had not had sufficient warnings or due process. They came in to talk to me last week and I held firm as he has been causing issues for months now.
The school has told me that I am fired based on the morality clause that is in the contract. The contract speaks of a general morality clause but does not specify what this means. I said that the photos are obviously real and we can accept if they have an issue with that, but that I need them to understand that the allegation is completely false and that I want something to be able to protect my reputation. They have denied to make any gestures. I am fired without any additional pay, and have to relocate entirely on my own cost.
I guess I have so many questions, but the most pressing ones are:
1. Do you think that I stand a chance if I would fight this and sue for at least relocation and a contract termination agreement
2. Could it really be that it’s the powerful father of this kid that had this done?
3. It’s important to me that people know that we might be freaks in the sheets but we are not criminals! How can I do this?
Any advice you have is welcome. Please be kind and understanding. I know we weren’t smart. It still sucks.
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Thanks
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**TLDR**; I (teacher) shared nude photos on a kink community site of myself and my wife and my employer/school got sent copies of them in an email demanding my dismissal. They are accusing me of wanting young girls, which is a lie. I got fired and am concerned about my reputation regarding the accusation, but don’t care about the photos. Is there anything I can do?
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**Edit**: Thanks everyone for all the tips that were helpful. I’m clearly not trying to go back to teach at this school but want to negotiate a better severance agreement instead of being kicked to the curb with the international relocation fully at our expense.
Also, I don’t know what this dead cyclist story is. And I’m not karma farming. This is, unbelievably, a true story and feels like a bad movie.
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25 comments
What the hell did I just read on a Monday
Chatgpt just gets better…
How the hell would your student’s parents know about your fetlife stuff??
Who have you been talking to about it?
I’m pretty sure it’s legal to be fired as a teacher in Japan for doing something in your own personal time that reflects poorly on your employer.
Trying to recruit young girls or not into this scheme aside, just the act of being caught in your kinks – is enough. Japan is pretty conservative and all it would take was one parent to complain with proof (nudes) about your behavior outside of work.
>The contract speaks of a general morality clause but does not specify what this means.
The fact that your employer has your nudes and you’re a teacher – that’s a done deal dude. No matter if you agree with it or not a lot of professions, especially teaching do not like their employees engaging in this kind of stuff. Onlyfans, Sex work, posting nudes online to websites etc. Which you have engaged with.
play stupid games win stupid prizes
1. Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Morality clauses are fairly enforceable here and considering you work with children I can imagine the courts being extra strict with this (don’t take that as any sort of condemnation of your lifestyle). I’m not a lawyer though so you may wish to talk to one.
2. It’s possible, a decent P.I. would’ve been able to find photos like that.
3. I know this is tough to hear but your best choice is to just walk away. The last thing you or the district wants to do is bring any extra attention to the matter.
I know you’ve admitted you weren’t smart in this matter but you really need to realize that as a teacher your private life will be under scrutiny. Teachers I know in the US use pseudonyms to post about even innocent stuff on social media, and the ones into the scene are extra paranoid. Never use your real name on fetlife or post pictures with your faces, you may even want to have an alias to give out to people if you go to any events here.
Anyway, I’m sorry this happened to you, and hope you’re able to move on.
Honestly, maybe you have a case but I can understand why they let you go.
As an adult your free to do what you want, but as a teacher of children you should be held accountable. If I knew my daughter’s teacher was posting nude photos of himself online, I’d probably would not want them teaching my child.
Having flashbacks to my two entire days of ALT training where they told us don’t share ANYTHING private on social media, because if anyone in the community finds out it WILL be used against you and you and the company are powerless to defend against it… they said one guy they managed to relocate to a different city (so different BoE) but others had to be let go outright to appease the BoE (and keep the city’s contract). You’re probably doomed, sorry.
Are you slow, ask a lawyer instead of Reddit.
r/thathappened
Pics or it didn’t happen
Who at your school knew you were on fetlife? Who on fetlife knew where you worked? It looks like you didn’t do a very good job of keeping fetlife isolated from your work life.
Morality clauses are enforceable, so contract termination/firing is legal, but libel laws also allow you to sue the shit out of someone who causes you financial harm, so you could have a case for a civil suit against whomever sent the e-mail.
Happy hunting!
Only recourse would be to find out who sent the email and sue them in Japan for slander.
Is this the guy who made up the story about the cyclist who died in front of his eyes? 5/10.
I’m 94% certain this is a karma-farming attempt, or a troll for the lolz, because nobody could possibly be this dumb in real life and actually make it to adult-hood.
On the off-chance it’s real:
You’re a teacher, responsible for young kids, and you openly send nude / sex photos of yourself and your wife to websites, and you’re shocked, shocked I tell you, that the school takes action when they find out about it?
I mean…what did you expect to happen?
Can we quit posting obviously fake shit here?
Play around and find out
Your contract has a morality clause – the pictures alone are reason enough to fire you. The allegations don’t matter, since they’re unprovable.
This is Japan, and people are fired for far less when it affects the company’s public image. Look at all the bands from Johnny’s Entertainment that are being punished and kept off the air, when it was “Johnny” who liked little boys. All the girl band members like AKB48 who will be ostracized or dropped for daring to have a date, let alone seen leaving someone’s house in the early morning.
One ‘talent’ didn’t get a single gig for 2 years after having an affair with a married man (she was single).
Someone told the school that and shared your photos. You were fired under the morality thing, you have no grounds for complaint. Unless you can find out and sue the person who sent this in, you’re SHOOL. (**** out of luck) Couldn’t guess on the student’s parents, but sort of feel it’s unlikely.
All someone needs is one image of your face and they can use a tool like PimEyes to find every photo you have on the internet on even the sketchiest of websites. If you have any images online with your face in, remove them NOW.
You cannot post your face online in such a manner in 2023, as facial recognition searches make images of specific people easy to find. All they need is one good image of your face and you’re done.
Edit: Your writing reminds me very much of the guy who made up the dead cyclist story earlier this year.
> We are dumbfounded as to who would be so spiteful and mean as to destroy someone’s life for the sake of it.
Japan has a vibrant underground kink community but Japan as a whole is extremely conservative and **hugely** image conscious. It would only take one student to find the photos that you shared, they would spread like wildfire, and even if they didn’t get mailed to all the teachers & administration, you’d get fired as soon as word got out. Pretty sure this would unfold similarly in many other countries. Probably *most* other countries.
Even if that didn’t happen, it would only take one person who held a grudge against you for *anything you have ever done* to blow your life up with those sorts of photos. You can’t go around sharing kink photos if you’re working as a teacher of children.
Unfortunately you can’t unshare them now, so you might want to consider a change of professions.
Your job is gone for sure, there is no denying that. If you wish to remain in the teaching world of Japan, first step is to go around and close all accounts where suchs pictures can be found (with no warning and no announcement, just press delete and that’s it.)
Now for a case… Not in relation to getting your job back.
You might be able to get a case against the person that send the e-mails since defamation and blackmail is crime worthy but that’s gonna be a very long process and maybe even impossible depending on how well the person covered his tracks.
Imo, unless you have alot of money and are ready to spend years fighting that… just move on with life.
Hey, I know this GTO episode!
I don’t… even know what to say…