am in a bit of a pickle.
During most of our recent meetings I have noticed that my in-laws have been very cold to me, which I found odd because we usually had a very good relationship. I have asked my wife a couple of times, and the usual reply has just been “don’t worry about it”.
Then yesterday my wife finally admitted that the reason why they are so cold to me is because they are offended that I did not come and ask them for permission to marry her. The thing is, I brought this up a long time ago, and back then my wife told me that they did not care, so there was no need to ask them.
In reality they DID actually care quite a lot, but my wife absolutely hates the idea that she needs permission to marry someone, so she lied about it to me, married me and pissed off her parents.
I really want to be in a good relationship with my in-laws. I lost my mother just 1 month ago and I have NO familly left in my home country, so the last thing I want is to burn bridges. So I have been thinking of ways to apologize to my in-laws and ask them to at least accept the marriage that HAS happened. I am just afraid that this will either make things weird or even worse.
I asked my wife for help, be she has zero interest in this and said that she refuses to apologize for making her own choices.
I then went to her sister, because she has been in a similar situation as me and my wife.
She wanted to marry a korean man, and due to her parents hatred towards koreans she just went through with the marriage without ever talking to them about it. Her only response to me was that “They should go cry themselves to death”.
So yeah… not exactly the advice I was hoping for.
So I turn to Reddit…
Has any of you been in this situation? Should I come up with some form of apology or just leave it be?