Came here on the 1st of Jan to attend language school (18F, having a “gap year”) and I feel like I’ve grown about a million times more emotionally fragile. Struggling because I’m simultaneously adjusting to the struggle of living on my own for the first time, and adjusting to the struggle of going overseas. I just don’t “know” stuff— spent an afternoon looking in places like Don Quijote and Daiso (in HARAJUKU of all places to go!) looking for toothpaste, couldn’t find any, had a “how the fuck can I not find toothpaste?!” moment before returning home, going to the 7/11 across the road for a drink and seeing they sold toothpaste there, and then cried at my desk holding a tub of toothpaste because I felt like such an idiot. Have spent a lot of time crying, actually, from “I miss my friends” to “I walked past the hotel where I stayed with my dad and got sad” to “I was the only person on the train wearing a bright blue coat and I stood out”. I basically feel like a baby whose response when something is wrong is to cry about it because they don’t know how to world works.
I know in theory this is the histrionic “I just moved and I don’t know anything and I miss home” that happens when you’ve barely been in a new country and you haven’t discovered enough stuff you like to outweigh all the things weighing you down, but does anyone have some advice? Should I expect the emotional dramatics and I’ll sort myself out over time as I get used to a routine and maybe find out what floor toothpaste is sold on in Donki? Edit: Thank you for all the kind responses everyone— you will be glad to know I cried a bit over them too. I lived here for a bit over a year when I was in middle school because of my dad’s work but it was a very international environment and I… honestly did not get out much and had a lot of help from family honestly. So I was going in like “I’ve done this before! How different can it be?”— very different lol. 13 y/o me was unfortunately never the one who went to buy the toothpaste. I feel like a tourist operating off of a vague recollection of the area and had a bit of a “WHY DO I KNOW NOTHING” moment today and impulse posted but I’m very grateful for all the warm responses 🙂