Hello, my situation is rather unique and I'm not sure this is the best place for this but, it's the best "fit" I can find. I am looking to do either 1 of two things:
1: Move to Japan
2: Move to a place with a large Japanese community in the US that won't kill me financially
Context (This isn't completely necessary so feel free to skip):
I'll mainly be asking about the "moving to Japan part" here since I wanna keep it on topic. (TLDR there is a large Japanese community in Oahu but I'd probably be best asking people in Hawaii on how to move there….even with what I make moving there would kill my finances). If anyone knows about large Japanese communities in the US, I would greatly appreciate some advice even if it's a bit off topic.
I am already married to a Japanese woman. We live in the US currently and she feels quite isolated and she needs to rely on me to do everything (biggest issue currently is she can't drive). We live in a fairly car dependent place. However, moving to a place with better transit like trains also isn't what she wants. She feels unsafe on US public transit and gets massive culture shock in larger US cities. We lived in Washington DC and been to NYC a lot and she really didn't like the vibe of either place. She really misses her family, her grandfather is over 100, and she has a very hard time making friends here. There also isn't any Japanese community where we live currently, she would really benefit from being in some kind of community.
Situation:
Since I am already married to a Japanese getting a visa would be trivial however, employment is a massive issue. I currently work as a devsecops engineer, got a comp sci degree with around 1.5 years of experience. The snag here is that Japanese work culture will actually just kill me. Me and my wife talked it over and we both agreed I wouldn't last a week in a Japanese company. This leaves me in a really hard spot as I need to do something for employment. I've tried looking on TokyoDev but didn't find much matching my field and the jobs lean for those who have 5-7+ years of experience. My current job is very flexible, intellectually rewarding, with very chill people. I love my current job so leaving it for a more rigid position is not ideal to say the least. I would need help on finding places of employment that won't be as rigid. She has offered for me to go the ways of the house husband but I have some reservations since 1: the last place she was at had her working 12 hours a day and 2: money would be tight if only she worked. She is also from Fukuoka so finding employment there as a westerner might be more difficult.
We aren't looking to move for at least 6 months. I'm probably somewhere around N3 (at least that is what my Japanese teacher told me) but, I would have time to study more before the move happens. I've spent a fair amount of time in Japan so I'm already familiar with the culture. The main problem is finding a good job. Recruiters saw my experience level and just told me to screw off. Sorry for the light novel but if anyone in a similar situation has advice I'd appreciate it.
by EspurrTGreat