Hi all. I’m moving to Japan in a month or two and I believe I have fairly realistic expectations as far as my sexuality goes, but I was hoping someone who has been there before might be able to help with some questions.
1. While I don’t plan on telling my employer my sexuality (hell I didn’t tell my US employer/coworkers either), would I have trouble if they somehow found out? I can’t find much about how sexuality falls in Japan’s anti-discrimination laws if it’s there at all.
2. I know there’s some gay clubs in Tokyo that are foreigner friendly and I know about the Stonewall Japan group, but what are some of the subtle signs sapphic women in Japan use? I know the American indicators, but I’d like to put out the Japanese ones too, if I can.
3. I’ve read in an article about being a lesbian in Japan that often times just being a foreigner will make me seem more butch than most of the femme girls in Japan. How true is that? I’m very femme and don’t wear butch fashions for America. I am 5’6 though, so I know that might be a point for the more butch side.
8 comments
Regional laws (like in Tokyo) prohibit discrimination of this kind.
Back in the day my neighbor used to hang out at Gold Finger. It’s still open. At the very least I’d check out [Ni-chome](https://goo.gl/maps/gDdFH94LMLS5cT2A9) and make some friends there.
Why are you tracking yourself on a butch scale? You’re moving somewhere with 14m people. Be yourself and you’ll find the makeout parties.
My wife and I just moved to Tokyo a couple days ago. We’re very much open about our sexuality and we’ve only ever been treated well by people the previous times we were in Japan.
Japanese women are insanely feminine. We North Americans really can’t keep up. Not only are they on point with their fashion and makeup, but they’re also generally way smaller (not necessarily shorter) than us.
You will get plenty of leeway in Japan as a foreigner. You will eventually (I hope) love it in Tokyo as there is a huge gay scene there. Most Japanese give up trying to figure out gaijin in general and leave you alone. As a foreigner who has lived there for 40 years I’ve seen some major changes of attitude on the subject.
Did you try searching the sub? There been lots of discussion on lesbians and bisexual woman. In terms of socializing, gay men have it WAY easier. Only one lesbian bar in Tokyo and it’s only female-only on one night. Meanwhile, a good deal of the gay bars in Tokyo prohibit women from entering.
Also, I find the lesbian/bi women scene skews heavily into soft masc / butch — like, lots of women who kind of look like young boys in tuxedo vests for some reason. If you’re more lipstick, you’ll be a bit disappointed. I’ve only met one femme gay woman here and she’s a foreigner, and we don’t really hang out anymore anyway.
There’s some club/edm event called Waifu that happens sporadically. It seems to attract more trans women, which may or may not be something you’d be interested in. Personally, I am not — so I haven’t been.
Osaka and Fukuoka both have more lesbian bars than Tokyo, but there’s still only a handful.
Thank you for asking this question because I seriously was going to ask this 😅
Hi there. We used to have a huge lesbian scene here in Tokyo about 20 to 30 years ago. We organized special weekend trips about four times a year, and had regular meet ups etc.
Everyone I knew has either married up like me and dropped out of the scene, or moved back to their respective countries. To be honest there is a lot of separation between Japanese and non-Japanese lesbians.
I really don’t have much info on the current situation, but definitely contact Stonewall and I believe there are some Facebook groups. I’m not really an SNS user. One of my friends says she uses tinder.
Definitely go to events like the pride parade and film festival when they are held, and just go out to Shinjuku Ni-chome and hang out with people. There are certain bars that are open to the streets so you can just hang out. Chatting with people there can direct you to the latest bars, but there were never very many exclusively women only places.
You should also look out for flyers at those bars for women only or women friendly events. Just note that there are many Japanese straight women who like to hang out with gay guys, so just because a woman is there, doesn’t mean she’s going to be into you as a woman.
I was always open at work, and never had any problems. Tokyo is very safe not only as a woman in general, but for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Just remember public displays of affection like deep French kissing etc. are not common even for straight people, so that kind of thing is not very polite to do in public lol.
As long as you are just interested in the same biological sex, there should not be any problem. You should not play a LGBTQ+Karen who screams at people if they dont use the correct pronounce. This does not work in Japan. But as most people mentioed here, you will like Tokyo and you wont be disappointed 🙂