Hi
Been living here for now almost 5 years. Most days I’m completely fine, very happy to be living here. But others just test my patience. Almost got run over by a bike on top of that, which really prompted this post.
The question is, how do you insulate from the daily moronic rules, resistance to new ideas, and shouganai attitude?
Looking for long term, sustainable ideas.
Yes, a bit jaded right now.
25 comments
You move?
All jokes aside, I get you with the kamikaze mamachari issue, but the rest of it is just at a societal level that you have to kind of accept it and go with the flow to function. A lot of relocating to another country is accepting that there is no one correct way to do things, and it can be, and usually is, a bit different somewhere else.
The level of my annoyance by this country’s idiots correlates with my tiredness or dissatisfaction with my own life – I simply try to do stuff that makes me relax.
I know, sometimes you can’t avoid being directly affected by sheer idiocy here. Unlike them, we know more about mental health and can deal with it better.
Also, knowing that in the worst case situation I can pack, leave, and I will survive outside Japan in abunai and kowai gaikoku, makes me more at ease. Unlike them, we always have a plan B.
Simply, try to channel your focus on things more related to you if possible.
I nurse my often fading thick skin with regular therapy like meetings with other foreigners. It’s good to have some people who can sympathize with your own frustrations. Find an outlet to vent with people who don’t take any of it personally. In my experience that excludes most locals. Including my wife;)
I hold my suitcase in front of me an bump into all the woman crossing my path in Shinjuku station.
More seriously I just have a drink with friends, we bitch about how Japanese are annoying for 20min then move on.
I make sure I have enough stimulation in my life that somebody on a bike doesn’t dwell in my mind beyond 3 seconds.
Do you think Japan is the only country that has stupid people in it?
What exactly is bothering you? Is it Japan-specific idiocy you’re referring to? If so, what?
> Almost got run over by a bike on top of that
That can literally happen anywhere in the world. Probably a lot less in Japan than most other places.
> resistance to new ideas
Again, globally common.
> Looking for long term, sustainable ideas.
Solution for what exactly? How to manage your mood and not get irritated from interacting with other people?
Because that seems to be your problem.
The solution is simple: stop expecting people to be perfect. Don’t wish to change people. The only thing you can change is your attitude.
Or you know, 引きこもり, but I seriously would not recommend it.
I work from home and only associate with people with whom I wish to, when I wish to.
Just remind yourself that no matter where you live in the world, you’re bound to run into idiots and f*cktards in the world.
But to balance it, (I donno where you’re from but) at least you’ve got affordable healthcare in Japan.
Lol.
Uhh this sounds more like you have a problem than everyone else – by your own admission, you’re getting jaded. That’s not accusatory or an attack, just an outside perspective.
If you’re happy and fulfilled, such small annoyances won’t phase you at all. That’s very easy to say, but if you often find yourself tetchy, having gone a day without smiling or laughing or doing something you find pleasant, then maybe something needs to change, be it work life balance, your job entirely, or whom you surround yourself with.
Perspective also helps aka a bit of time back in the old country.
Are you going through a particularly stressful time, OP? What do you usually do to relax?
Because honestly, that’s the most sustainable solution. Find something that relaxes you or gets rid of your frustration or brings you joy. Do that, regularly.
You adjust your attitudes and perceptions when you realize that’s where the problems are. Japan is Japan.
> how do you insulate from ….
Live your own life.
> Looking for long term, sustainable ideas.
Travel once in a while, now that things are opening up again. Either you’ll go someplace and come back relaxed and refreshed, or you’ll go someplace and come back with a new appreciation for how orderly and polite things are here.
Make a list. Pros/Cons – Japan
Pros//Cons- Your country.
= Hands down Japan by a long shot. Even after fifteen years.
Every country has its own particular flavor of idiocy. Maybe you could be more specific?
But generally take a deep breath and move on to the things you do like about Japan; feel thankful not entitled.
Is there a correlation between cost of living, quality of schools or average house prices and the ubiquity of daily idiots in a city or region?
I just think how life is back in San Francisco now, and I immediately feel grateful for living in Tokyo. Truth
Without an outlet for stress you’re going to go nuts regardless of where you live. Find something you can absorb yourself in to the point where you’re completely focused and can forget all the stuff that bugs you. Sports/exercise works for me.
So you want insulation ? In Japan?
Stupidity is a universal human trait. Moronic rules and resistance to new ideas exist everywhere because, again, the former were invented by people who were not so smart (and we’ve already sorted this out in the first sentence), and being reluctant to change is, again, a very common universal human trait. And as for the shouganai attitude, I’m actually pretty jealous of it, because the ability to see that there’s nothing you can do about a certain situation and stop stressing yourself over it is pretty great.
And as for Japan vs my country, I’m Russian. I guess that’s one of the easiest wins for Japan ever. I love it here (no, it’s not my first year, but actually 8th) and am grateful for the fact that I’m able to live here in safety, have a job, and be accepted by the people.
P.S. Mamachari are indeed scary. If I were a kid, I would’ve been very vocal about my fears. Students on bikes are a close second in terms of ‘being run over by’ potential.
Beer helps.
And it’s a long term sustainable option. Well, unless inflation goes nuts.
Beyond that, I just keep continuously replacing painful options with decent options. Bank is bunch of mindless moronic drones? Switch bank and see if they’re better. Bureaucracy is a pain? How can I avoid, batch, or get assistance to do it for me. What can I do online? One online option sucks? Find alternatives. And buy everything you can from Amazon and the like.
On mindsets, this is a power problem. People being stupid should only bother you if they can impose it on you. So work out ways to remove that possibility. Boss? Find better one or try and start a business. Just annoying people? Do what you can to keep them out of your eyesight and earshot.
Embrace the *shouganai* attitude and make it your armor, just like everyone else does. When in Rome…
Also, a glass of good whisky at the end of a particularly hard day works wonders.
I love moving to a foreign country and then complaining about it.
Honestly? I’ve been here 17 years. I just found being yourself unapologetically is the best solution. Mind you; this doesn’t mean “be a douchebag”: it simply means being yourself and doing what you think is right. Japanese people are essentially taught to not express themselves, and frankly they’re absolutely miserable as a result. You’re going to stick out on the account of being a foreigner anyways, so you might as well embrace what makes you different and stick to your guns.